Page 21 of Every Hidden Truth
Maybe he’d meant it as a joke, but my smile faded. I didn’t want him thinking I only wanted him for sex. He was one of the most important people in my life. Did he really think I just wanted his body?
“Hey, where did you just go?” Ben pinched my chin lightly, forcing me to meet his eyes.
“I don’t want you for sex,” I blurted, and his eyes widened. “Shit, that’s not what I meant. I do want that because you’re just”—I gestured at the entirety of him—“chef’s kiss, really. All of it works for me. Very much. Um, I just meant that I don’t only want that. Because I am so into you, like it’s unreal. And oh my God, I need to stop talking.”
Ben was beaming at me, and my entire face felt like it was roasting in an oven.
“I never once thought you were using me, if that’s what you mean,” he offered, and my body relaxed.
“Okay, good. Because I’m not. I like you. Like, a lot.”
“I like you a lot too.”
“Good. That’s real good.” I buried my face in my hands and groaned. “That was so embarrassing. I told you I suck at this.”
“I like when you ramble. It’s cute.”
“Shut up,” I moaned, and he chuckled.
“Come here, Si,” he said, tugging my hands away from my face. He was still smiling, but his tone took on a serious note as he said, “Sex is something we could do. Someday. If we both want that. If we’re both ready for that.”
A strangled sound caught in my throat, making me squeak out, “Okay.”
“But I don’t want to have sex right now.”
“Okay,” I said again, voice stronger. “That’s totally fine.”
“But maybe we could make out more?”
Nodding, I pressed my forehead to his. “Yeah, that would be good. I like making out with you.”
He looked at me like I was the sun, which was just crazy. Because he was the sun. He’d always been the sun. And when he kissed me, his sunshine soaked into my bones and set me alight, and I never wanted it to end.
7
Take Care of Each Other
A few hours later,I reclined on the couch with Ben lying between my legs as I fought sleep. His cheek rested on my stomach, his eyes drooping while we watched aFamily Guyrerun on TV. My fingers had long since stalled in their petting of his curls. Unconsciousness teased the edges of my brain as I cradled his torso between my knees.
If the world came to an end at this moment, I could die a happy man. I couldn’t remember ever being more comfortable.
After our make-out session on the pool table, Ben had suggested watching TV. At the time, he could have suggested a bikini wax, and I probably would have agreed. I hadn’t exactly been thinking with my brain.
He’d arranged us on the couch and settled innocently between my legs. He hadn’t moved an inch since I started sifting my fingers through his hair. I’d never been one for cuddling, but I liked holding Ben.
Turning from the TV, he nuzzled my stomach. I inhaled sharply when he lifted my shirt high enough to press his lips to my bare skin above my belly button.
“What are you doing?” My voice cracked as I shook off the edges of sleep.
He rested his chin on the spot he’d kissed as his thumb rubbed over my revealed hip bone. “I like this.”
It wasn’t really an answer, but I smiled down at him, twisting a particularly curly lock of gold around my index finger. “Me too.”
“Wanna make a bet about how many scandalized looks we’ll get tomorrow at school?” The joke fell flat when I stiffened, and his smile faded as I shifted my attention to the TV. He rose, propping himself on his elbows on either side of my waist when I avoided his gaze.
The night behind the stage came back to me in a rush, and I fought the bile rising in my throat. Boyt had threatened Ben that night. Maybe he hadn’t meant it, simply using Ben to manipulate me, but how could I be sure?
Merely being my friend had put Ben in danger. What would happen when we waltzed into school and shoved our relationship in Boyt’s face? It would be yet another block on the unstable tower of his self-restraint.
