As Ben picked his phone off the floor, I looked up at Mr. Rodriguez, startling when I realized we were surrounded. Acker stood beside Mr. Rodriguez, shooing students away, Kim’s pink phone clutched in her hand. Ronnie was helping Ben to stand.Caroline, Kim, Jordan, and Harris were circled around us, acting like a shield.
Crouching down beside me, Kim placed a hand on my shoulder. Her tear-streaked face filled my blurry vision as she said, “Come on, Silas. You have to stand up now.”
“I don’t understand,” I said, even though I did.
“I know. Just stand up. That’s all you have to do. Just stand up.”
“He watched us,” I told her, grabbing her arm. “He watched us, Kim.”
She winced, blinking back another wave of tears. “Who?”
“Okay, Silas, let’s get you up,” Mr. Rodriguez said before I could answer her. He gripped my arm gently and lifted as Kim helped on my other side. “Let’s get you two to the principal’s office.”
“But we didn’t do anything!” I said, and his brow furrowed in confusion. “We didn’t send the picture; it wasn’t us. You have to believe me. He’ll expel me—you can’t let him expel me.”
“Silas, you’re not in trouble,” he assured me, hands heavy on my shoulders. “It’s just protocol. We’re going to the office, and we’ll call your parents. Everything’s gonna be okay.”
But that last part was a lie, wasn’t it? None of this was okay. It wouldn’t ever be okay. Because he’d been there, and he’d watched. And now everyone else had seen it too. They even had a souvenir.
But I didn’t say any of that. I simply fell into step beside a shell-shocked Ben. Acker told our friends to get to class as she wrapped a protective arm around Ben’s shoulders. Mr. Rodriguez guided me with a steady grip on my arm.
At some point, Ben took my hand, but I was too numb to feel it.
“It’s gonna be okay,” he said, voice dead and robotic.
“I know,” I lied absently.
When we finally made it to the front office, I saw Alice standing next to a guidance counselor, her splotchy cheeks wet. She turned toward us, and her expression crumpled. Guilt, I realized. She looked guilty as fuck.
“What did you do?” I demanded before I’d consciously decided to speak.
Ben tightened his grip on my hand as Alice cowered into the guidance counselor’s side. “I had to,” she whimpered. “They were going to tell everyone. They were going to tell my parents. I had to!”
Somehow, my brain made the connection. Alice was popular. She probably had a lot of phone numbers. One mass text was all it would take to start the chain reaction. And then the photo would spread like wildfire. And Alice would take the fall because she’d started it.
It was a pretty smart plan, actually. I hadn’t expected such thoroughness from Boyt. But I supposed I’d always underestimated him, hadn’t I.
“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I had to.”
“You bitch,” I spat, and she had the gall to burst into tears. Rage rushed over me so quickly and powerfully that it nearly buckled my knees. “You fucking bitch!”
Both Mr. Rodriguez and Ben had to drag me back as I screamed at her, the helplessness and hurt compounding into a blinding fury. I didn’t even know what I was shouting at her, but I knew it was ugly and cruel.
But that was the point, wasn’t it? I wanted her to hurt. For her part in all this, she deserved to hurt.
Someone ordered Alice out of the room, and the counselor led her away as she sobbed into her hands. Ben manhandled me into a chair and boxed me in, his expression pulled into a tight mask.
“Stop it, Silas,” he said, trapping my arms on the armrests. “Stop it!”
I glared up at him, the betrayal cutting deep. But then his chest hitched, and there were tears in his bloodshot eyes. The anger leaked away, replaced with a sorrow so vast I didn’t know what to do with it.
When he was sure that I wasn’t going to get up and attack Alice, Ben released his death grip on my wrists and sat down in the seat next to me. Mr. Rodriguez was on my other side. Acker collected my phone, then Ben’s, then she and Vice Principal Fields disappeared into Principal Moore’s office.
The front office secretary told us that our parents were on their way. She asked if we wanted water. I couldn’t find my voice. Ben shook his head. I stared at the red and gold zigzagged carpet, knuckles whitening as I clung to the armrests.
Mr. Rodriguez reached out to lay a hand on my bouncing knee, but then stopped himself. He was a teacher after all. He wasn’t allowed to touch me. So he rested his hands in his lap and bowed his head.
My knee bounced.