Page 34 of Transatlantic Terror Cruise

“Well, I’ve always been a little intrigued by magicians and the like, and wouldn’t you know it there is this really cool mentalist on board. He has a show in about an hour. This guy supposedly reads minds, reveals secrets—the whole mystical enchilada.” She gives a little sigh at the thought. “I figure in the least it should be a hoot. And I’d give anything to have a genuine laugh right about now.”

“A man who can read my mind?” Elodie pulls her shoulders back and her boobs nearly dislodge themselves right out of her top. “On this cruise?”

Becky Lee nods. “The Amazing Alfonso,” she’s quick to confirm.

“Oh,him.” Elodie frowns at the mention of his name. “I’m familiar. Very mysterious, very dramatic. Very anticlimactic beneath the sheets. Lots of velvet.”

Becky Lee shrugs. “As long as he entertains above the sheets, I’m okay with velvet.” She glances at her watch. “I’d better get going if I want to snag a good seat. Plus, I want to hit the buffet beforehand.”

“Smart,” I tell her. “Maybe I’ll see you at the show.”

Her mouth opens and closes. “That would be nice. In fact, I’ll save you a seat.”

She takes off just as Bess and Nettie barrel this way along with the sassiest ghost of them all.

“You ladies ready to kick this investigation up a notch?” I ask and they all belt out a collective whoop of approval.

Perfect.

Now all I have to do is solve a murder, survive a mentalist show in a dress that could signal passing aircraft, and somehow get through my honeymoon without trying to kill a voyeuristic ghost. Not necessarily in that order.

The Amazing Alfonso won’t be the only one in that room trying to pry secrets from unsuspecting minds.

The question is, what kind of secrets does Becky Lee Darling have to tell?

CHAPTER17

While Trixie’s Away, the Ship Will Play—The Elodie Edition

Ahoy, my amorous adventurers! While our detective duo is busy examining evidence in every corner of their suite (and really, thorough investigation is so important in these cases), let’s tackle today’s titillating question.

Dear Elodie,

I noticed the spa offers a couples mud treatment. My wife is interested, but I’m concerned about the small little robes and public setting. Thoughts?

Muddy Minded

Oh,you dirty dog,

Public setting? Honey, those spa treatment rooms are like Vegas—what happens there, stays there. Although, unlike Vegas, the walls are surprisingly soundproof. Not that I’ve tested them. Recently.

Those small little robes are just the appetizer. Wait until you discover what that volcanic mud can do for your...circulation. And don’t get me started on the rainfall shower designed for two. However, I do recommend keeping your voices down during the rinse cycle. The massage therapists are still blushing from last week’s ratherenthusiasticclients.

Pro tip: Book the last appointment of the day. The spa staff appreciates a good reason to close early, and you’ll appreciate the extra...scrubbingtime.

Getting dirty with dignity,

XOXO Elodie

P.S. If anyone asks, those handprints on the steam room window were absolutely part of atherapeutic exercise routine.

Trixie

The Queen’sTheater offers up a warm hug in velvet with its heavy curtains draping the stage like wine-colored waves.

The theater is hushed, dark, holds the scent of sugar and spice, and has more than a couple dozen people already anxious for the show to begin.

The air conditioning battles with a deluge of perfumes and colognes wafting through the air that sort of reminds me of my grandmother’s vanity—that is, if her vanity had hosted a cocktail party in a refrigerator.

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