Page 26 of Transatlantic Terror Cruise

My cheeks warm at the thought. “Yes, well, solving crimes seems to be part of my marriage package.”

“Along with other packages,” Sassy adds with a wicked grin. “I just can’t wait to get back to that man. Can’t you put a rush on this?”

“I’m almost done,” Elvie says, picking up another fluffy brush and I shoot the pushy poltergeist a look. “And now for the grand finale…” Elvie gives a little laugh. “Have either of you tried our new Drop Dead Gorgeous Highlighter?” She holds up a compact that sparkles like glitter-laden evidence under a white-hot spotlight. “It’s not only delicious, it’s todiefor.”

“Of course, I have.” Tinsley is quick to kiss the ring. “And I love that you worked the theme of the podcast into the names of your products. That’s so very clever.”

“Yes, my marketing team really leaned into the whole murder theme, didn’t they?” Elvie gives a light chuckle. “In fact, it was my old friend Sassy who thought up Murder She Wrote Mascara and Killer Queen Contour Kit.”

“I sure did.” Sassy glows with pride. Like really,reallyglows. “Remember when we created the Fatally Flawless Foundation? That was actually my idea, too. Although Brad tried to take credit for it. He was sure good at taking credit for things.” Her glowing eyes narrow at the thought.

I look over at the table next to me and spot a product called Last Words Lip Gloss in a shade called Confession Pink and wonder if someone is trying to tell us something. More to the point, the suspect before me.

I clear my throat. “Elvie, I’ll be honest, I just don’t know how you’re handling everything right now,” I say, steering the conversation toward less cosmetic matters. However, on this ship, cosmetics and crime seem to go hand in perfectly manicured hand.

Elvie’s smile slips a fraction. “As well as can be expected. Brad and I, well, like every relationship, we had our bumps and bruises. But my goodness, I loved that man.”

“More bumps than bruises,” Sassy interjects and I gasp at the revelation. Although I’m not sure why I’m surprised, I seemed to witness a few myself.

Tinsley leans toward Elvie. “Was he having trouble with anyone?” She manages to keep her tone gentle as if she’s asking about the weather instead of potential killers. Tinsley being gentle about anything is sort of an anomaly in itself. “Any recent arguments or threats?” she continues.

Okay, I’ll give it to her, she’s good at getting to the point.

“Brad made enemies,” Elvie admits, fiddling with a tube of lipstick and glancing at the bottom. “Homicide Red.” She wags the color at us. “That seems appropriate.” She quickly dusts some on both my lips and Tinsley’s. “Brad solved cold cases in his spare time. He did a lot of digging. That tends to upset guilty people.” She glares at me when she says it. “I don’t really know of anyone in particular who might have been after revenge. But let’s see…”—she sighs, looking out at the room—“Oh, why, I think Becky Lee Darling might know more.” She nods to the back of the room. “She handled all of his promotional inventory and swag. I think she did some organizational work and light accounting for him, too. In fact, she spent a lot of time with him these last few weeks getting ready for this trip. We brought so much of that murder merch junk along to give away to the kind people who joined us. I’ll admit, some of it is cute and clever. And if she can’t help out with the case, you can always speak with Reed. That’s Brad’s business partner, Reed Williams. They’ve been friends longer than I’ve known Brad. This was the second marriage for both of us. Anyway, both Becky Lee and Reed seem to have spent more time with Brad lately than I did.”

“So you really think it could be anyone?” Tinsley presses, while Elvie absentmindedly brushes some eyeshadow on us both. Tinsley’s eyeshadow is a dark and moody shade of blue and matches her sourpuss expression perfectly.

“All I know is there’s a lunatic among us.” Elvie’s hand trembles as she puts the brush down. “Someone who thought murder was the answer to whatever problem they had with Brad. I don’t know anyone who would come to that conclusion.” She casts a dark look to the sea as if she thought differently on the subject.

I study Elvie’s face, searching for any crack in her perfectly powdered facade. Is she really the grieving widow, or is this just another stellar performance from a woman who’s made a fortune selling beautiful illusions? Everything about her screams perfection, but it does make me wonder if her Fatally Flawless Foundation is doing its best to fool me.

After all, in the cosmetics game, everything comes down to appearances. And sometimes the most flawless finish is hiding the deadliest secrets.

We wrap it up and Elvie takes off for the buffet on the hunt for some hot java.

Both Tinsley and I turn to look at one another and belt out a scream at the very same time.

“You look like a clown,” I cry in horror at the punchy spots of color on her cheeks and lips, not to mention the fact her eyes look like two large bruises.

“Oh honey”—Tinsley shakes her head as she inspects me—“the circus has come to town and it has not left you off the roster. She even penciled in a bright blue tear running down your cheek!”

“That’s actually her signature beauty mark,” Sassy shrugs. “She thinks it adds a touch of pizzazz to the face.”

“Wonderful,” I say as we rise from our seats to meet with other far too colorful women among us. “We can always wash this off, but there’s a killer out there with blood on their hands and that’s going to leave a permanent stain on their record if I have anything to say about it.”

Tinsley nods. “That’s exactly why we need to question our next suspect.”

I glance around the room, and sure enough, I spot the stocky brunette with a dusting of gray locks as she steps right out of the lounge.

She might be out of our grasp for now, but, Becky Lee Darling, we’re coming for you.

CHAPTER13

While Trixie’s Away, the Ship Will Play—The Elodie Edition

Welcome back, pleasure cruisers! While Trixie and Ransom are still investigating suspicious activity in their private hot tub (and really, who am I to interrupt such thorough detective work?), let’s dive into today’s steamy question.

Dear Elodie,

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