Page 22 of Beguiled and Broken

“I haven’t seen her since then, so there’s been no interaction between us. As for what happens now, I don’t know. That’s why I have you geniuses here to help me. Things have been increasingly strained between me and Bianca. Now I’m avoiding Catarina like the plague, which means I’m out of the house early and I’ve been working late. I don’t know whether I should tell Bianca about it or not. Ya know?”

“Don’t tell her.” Cole said very brusquely.

Carter disagreed, “I mean, youmightwant to say something to her. This is your marriage and you’re obviously acting different.” Carter had a point, and he and Lex have been married a long time.

Cole shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, but if you tell her and she thinks something more is going on, she’s going to snap. You didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe it’ll just go away, and Catarina was living out some private fantasy that you happened to walk in on.”

“Ok, ok… you both have points. Fuck.” I dragged my hand down my face. “When’s your bonfire, Carter?”

“I’m thinking we can do it the weekend after next. I gotta go drag Hudson out of the house. It’s time.”

“Ok, I think the bonfire will be a nice break from Catarina. I’ll just ignore this shit. I wasn’t supposed to be there. I shouldn’t have gone down there and won’t do that shit again.”

Cole leaned on the table as he spoke, “Listen, she probably has a little crush on you. She worked for you forever. Has she ever done anything weird before? I think you just let this go.”

“I don’t know. I feel like there have been weird moments but maybe it was just in my head, yeah? She stares too long or seems like she leaves Bianca out of things when she talks. Like it’s just me and the kids. I don’t know man. Maybe, I’m overthinking this shit. I know I’ve always had this weird feeling that I’ve met her before but that’s impossible. We aren’t from here. My head is so messed up right now. I’m gonna let this go.”

Carter said, “Breathe, man. It’s gonna be fine. You and Bianca bring the kids to the bonfire, and we will have a good time. It’ll give you a break from the house. Hang in there until then. Do something with just you and Bianca and try to get you guys back on an even playing field.” He was right.

“Thanks, guys. You idiots really are smart when you want to be.” We had some good laughs and finished our food before they took off. I sat at the table alone for a while, trying to figure my shit out.

Chapter 15

Vinny

Six days had passed since my meeting with the boys. The bonfire went well. We got to meet Hudson’s friend Amelia, which was nice. At least he was out of his house. That agoraphobia shit is for the birds. Plus, they look happy together. It was nice to see all the kids playing again, too. There was still some distance between me and Bianca though. Even so, we sat together and tried to enjoy the night. I think we did, for the most part.

Other than the bonfire, the past month had been hard. Little shit between Catarina and Bianca started up again here and there. With me avoiding Catarina, I was rarely home, and barely saw her. Other than a couple awkward glances, and a few polite exchanges, we didn’t even speak to each other. It felt like I was barring myself from my own home. A couple weeks later, Bianca mentioned separation to me. I freaked. She hadn’t askedmeto leave, and she saidshewasn’t leaving, but she said she needed some space to think. She told me she felt really distant from me and like I’m somewhere else all the time, physically and mentally. I didn’t know what to say without telling her about walking in on Catarina. I should’ve told her about it and how it had me fucked up, but if I had, there was a chance she would’ve flipped out and fired Catarina or completely taken it wrong and kicked me out like I’d done something wrong. I didn’t know what to do.

I was driving home from work when my phone rang. It was Hudson. I tried to call him earlier because it was his birthday, but he didn’t answer.

I picked up and said, “Hey bro. What’s up?” Hudson was in a panic. “I’m on my way over, right now.” Hudson was depressed, but never panicked. If Hudson was calling and panicked, then it was important, and I wanted to be there for him.

I walked into Hudson’s place, and I see him sitting on the couch. “Hey man, what’s happening? Happy Birthday, by the way. Did ya have a good day?”

“Yeah, it was nice. I spent it with Amelia. But that’s why I called you.”

Hudson went into telling me about how he freaked out over how he was feeling ‘something’ for Amelia and not really knowing how to handle it. I reassured him that Devina would want him to be happy. Hudson was my boy. I wanted him to be happy because he’d spent such a long time depressed.

“Vinny. What did you call for originally?”

I looked down unsure of how much to share with him. “Well, I called to wish you a happy birthday…”

“And…”

“And…to tell you…um…me and Bianca are taking some time apart.”

“Whoa, man! What the fuck? What happened?”

“Amelia sees you, right?” I asked him and he nodded yes. “I don’t think Bianca and I have ‘seen’ each other in a long time. I’m not sure how to fix it.”

“Vinny…I’m here, man, if you need anything. You know that.”

“Thank you. Appreciate it. We aren’t divorcing but we got some shit to figure out.”

I turned to leave and paused to ask him one more question. “Hud, how did you and Dev work through differences? I mean, yous always seemed so solid. I’m not sayin’ me and Bianca never have fights to work through but for some reason we just aren’t hearing each other. This one seems impossible.”

“We had small issues man…but we never forgot that we had each other until the bitter end. We never forgot the small things. The walks together, the late night talks no matter how dumb, and the little things we did for each other because we were considerate of each other. I mean the smallest of the small, man, and we never gave up on each other. We’d listen to each other and talk it out, even if it took all night. And we never went to bed angry. I’m talking the smallest of the small, man. You guys have Gianna and Angelo, and they’re great, but without you and Bianca, there is no Gianna and Angelo.”

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