Page 8 of Crash and Burn

I laughed hard. “Dev, you may not realize it, but I secretly love you nagging me.”

She slapped my chest. “Shut up.”

“No, I’m serious,” I say. “And sometimes, I spill stuff and leave it just to hear your wild sexy voice yell at me.”

Dev laughed harder. “My wild sexy voice, huh? Ok.”

She smiled so big. I loved her smile. My turn.

“Ok, my turn. What if you get tired of cleaning up my shit and decide you want some OCD guy that loves an all-white clean house like the former Kim and Kanye.”

She lost it. “Did you seriously just say that?” She does air quotes when she said, “former Kim and Kanye.”

“I’m not a fan, and you know it, but I couldn’t pass it up.”

Still laughing, she said, “I would never give up your cobwebby, vampire ways for an all-white crypt.”

“And this is why I’ll love you forever.”

“Ok, ok. What if something happens to me? Do you promise to move on and live your life?”

I hated having conversations about that. “Dev...”

“I know, I know. You don’t like to think about it, but it’s important to me, Hudson.”

“Dev, you’re it for me. I don’t want to be with anyone else—ever.”

“Hudson, Stop. I’m serious. You can’t go on alone for the rest of your life, ya know. I wouldwantyou to find someone else.”

“Why are we having this conversation again? Oh, right. The what if game. Fuck this game.” I reached over and pulled her into me, so she was straddling my lap. She stared into my eyes and put her hand on my face. I grabbed her ass and reached up for a kiss.

“Baby, you’re it for me. But if it’ll make you feel better, then ok. I’ll figure out how to be happy.” I kissed her again.

She smiled through the kiss and said, “It does…make me happy.” She starts to move her hips against me. “It makes me incredibly happy. It also makes me happy how sexy my husband is.” Still moving against me I can feel myself getting hard beneath her.

“Dev, baby, you keep grinding your hips like that and you’re gonna fuck around and find out.” She laughed hysterically whenever I say that joking around.

“You mean like this?”

She grinded hard against me and then slid her tongue in my mouth. I let out a growling moan and pulled her hips hard over the top of me. Her scent engulfed me. I picked her up and carried her to our bedroom. I whispered in her ear, “What if I never let this go, Dev?” I laid her down on the edge of the bed, shed my clothes, and released the tension in my jeans.

“Then you’ll never know what a great life is ahead of you.” She reached for me as I hovered above her, stroking me before placing me between her legs. I kissed her hard as I slid in… deep…home. My home.

*

Fuck.I looked down and noticed I was hard as a rock. I didn’t know why I let my mind go to those moments. It had been 18 months and I missed my wife. I missed sex with my wife. Hell, I missed just kissing my wife. I needed a cold shower and to get started with the day.

*

After my shower, the afternoon flew by. I was deep into my art before I realized it was almost 5:30 pm. I hadn’t eaten a thing since I had my coffee and the leftover donut that was in the fridge. I hadn’t exactly been a stellar example of good eating habits in the months after Dev died. Although you wouldn’t know it, because I somehow managed to stay in decent shape after surviving on coffee, soda, donuts, and bagels. I decided to start moving around more and eating better. Looking around the kitchen, I only found a couple of practically empty boxes of cereal sitting on top of the fridge, some random pasta sides in the cabinet, and a few other random things in the freezer. After checking my watch again, I realized it was dinner time. I thought,I can pop in Sharon’s gets, a healthy bite to eat, and Amelia will be gone already. Right? Right. Everything is fine. I’m fine.

*

Walking into the diner, I did a quick scan looking around to see if Amelia was there. I was just such an ass yesterday. Amelia didn’t seem to be there. A woman standing behind the counter greeted me, “Have a seat anywhere you like, honey.”

I gave her a courteous smile and noticed the booth I was at the day before was empty, so I made my way over to it. I took my backpack off and slid into the booth on the side that allows me to see the front door. It’s a security thing that I started doing years ago, after seeing one too many stories in the news about shootings and robberies. An older waitress with a big blonde hairdo came up and set my water down. “I’m Sheila. What can I get you, dear?”

“Hi, Sheila. I’ll just have some coffee, for now, please.”

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