Page 51 of Crash and Burn

“She’s beautiful, Hudson.” I nodded. She set it back down and lifted another photo, this time of Devina.

I turned my attention to the food, saying, “The...uh...food is ready. Still hungry?”

She set the photo down, sliding her hands in her back pockets and made her way toward me. “Of course. I’m starved. I can’t wait to try it.”

“Yeah well, I figured you made me something from your childhood, so I thought I would make you something from mine. I hope you like it.”

I pulled her chair out for her and set a plate in front of her. “Dinner is served. Spaghetti with buttered bread, never toasted.” I always wrap spaghetti up inside the bread.

Amelia was watching me do it and asked, “Is there a right way to eat this?”

I laughed, “Nope. This is just how I like it.”

She took a bite and made this moaning sound. I laughed even harder, trying to resist the urge to make a dirty joke.

“Oh man…this is amazing, Hudson!! Soooo good.” She took another bite and a drink of her soda.

I smiled. “I’m glad you like it.” We talked through dinner about our friends, work, and different things we wanted out of life. It was a hard conversation for me, but I didn’t think she could tell.

I stood up when I noticed she was finished eating and grabbed our plates. She brought in our empty cups and sets them in the sink, asking, “Do you want me to wash these up?”

“No. I invitedyou, remember? Just leave ‘em. I’ll toss ‘em in the dishwasher really quick.”

She went back over to the table and sat while I cleaned up the kitchen.

“Thanks for dinner, Hudson. This was amazing.”

“You’re welcome. Thanks for coming.”

“I honestly can’t believe Christmas will be here so soon. Remember when we were going to go pick out trees?”

I laughed even though I knew that day wasn’t what we hoped it would be. “Yeah, but that’s ok. We shouldn’t have been tryin’ to get trees before Thanksgiving anyway,” I said with a wink.

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, whatever. Do you still want to do it?”

“Yeah, of course. Thanksgiving has come and gone. We might be the only ones who don’t have anything Christmas-y up, yet.”

“Christmas-y…is that a technical word?” she teased.

I flicked water at her from the faucet, so she jumped up, rushing over to me. “Hey!!”

“What? Don’t talk shit about my Christmas-y word.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” She leaned in, over the counter, and kissed me. I pulled away slightly and she noticed. I thought,Shit… snap out of it, Hudson!I wanted to, it just felt weird to do that in the house.

She walked into the living room while I put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher. Apparently, I had more dishes that week and didn’t pay attention.

Walking into the living room, I saw she had moved Devina’s slippers. They were sitting in front of the chair. My eyes went straight there. It stopped me immediately, feeling my heart rate pick up. I cursed at myself inside for not thinking of the fucking slippers while I was cleaning up before Amelia arrived. I felt like, they justbelongedthere, and she was sitting in Devina’s spot. I started to think the entire night had been a mistake and that I shouldn’t have asked her to come, that I wasn’t ready, and that it was all wrong.

“Hey, are you ok?” she asked. I could hear her, but I couldn’t find the words to respond. “Hudson? What’s wrong?”

“Uh…please don’t touch....” I walked over to the slippers, picked them up and set them back in front of the couch. Amelia stood up, sensing that she was in the way. I wasn’t trying to be rude, but I was having a moment.

“Hudson? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” I waved my hand at her.

“Amelia, I think…I…um…”

“Hudson, I’m gonna go. I clearly fucked up when I moved those slippers. They aren’t yours, right? I thought they were yours. They were your wife’s? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be here. I’ll catch the bus. It’ll be around again in about 15 minutes.”

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