Page 44 of Crash and Burn

I got myself cleaned up and dressed, wondering what to wear to a Thanksgiving dinner…a normal Thanksgiving dinner. The dinners I attended with Kevin were always so formal. I’m not and never have been a fancy dress and hair girl. I’ve always been a jeans, boots, sweater, and messy bun kind of girl, so I went with that. I stood looking in the mirror, bringing my hair up into a messy bun on top of my head and pulled down a couple strands to hang loosely around my face. Anyone can rock the messy bun look once you add a few strands to frame your face and give it a little style. I tossed on some mascara and a little bit of eye liner, and I was good to go, hoping Hudson liked my outfit.

The clock in the kitchen ticked over to 11:15 and he would be there in 15 minutes. I tugged my boots on and tried to calm my nerves. I was sweating so I fanned myself and reassured myself for the umpteenth time,Calm down, Amelia! You and Hudson have hung out a thousand times and this doesn’t need to be any different.Sure, we had spent time together many times, but we hadn’t kissed…like really made out until recently and it didn’t turn out the way we wanted it to. I walked to the freezer, opening it and brought my face close to cool off.

KNOCK KNOCK

Oh shit. He’s here. Ok. Breathe.

I went to the door, opening it with a smile. “Hey Hudson. Come on in. I’m ready, I just need to grab my keys and coin purse. How’ve you been?” I was talking fast, and I was sure he could sense how nervous I was.

Hudson looked nervous too, but somehow, also confident. His eyes were nervous, but his body language showed strength. He walked in and headed right to the middle of my living room. No hello. No hug. No nothing. Just a timid glance.

“Hudson? We don’t have to do this. If it’s too much…”

And just like that, he stepped toward me, quickly eating up the space between us. He grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me. My legs went weak as I melted into him. I kissed him back, stunned, bringing my hands up to grip his wrists. He coaxed the seam of my lips with his tongue, and it was everything I wanted. I let him in. He kissed me deep and hard, at first, but quickly made it soft like he wanted to feel every inch of my lips and tongue.

He pulled away slowly, then leaned in, bringing his forehead to mine. “I’ve been dying to do that again, Amelia.”

I smiled, my hands were still holding his wrists when I said, “Me too. Are you ok?”

“I’m more than ok. I’ve missed you and I’ve just been trying to work through my shit. I’m sorry for the radio silence. I was a jerk.”

“No no, it’s ok. I felt terrible, like I ruined everything with that first kiss. I care about you, Hudson and I just wanted you to be ok. We don’t have to rush into anything.”

“I know, and you know I care about you, too. That’s what scared me. Can we start with Thanksgiving dinner and see where things go from there?”

“Of course. Come on. I’m ready if you are.”

Hudson kissed my forehead and let go of my face. He was so warm. I grabbed my keys and wallet before we left. I was much less nervous knowing Hudson was ok and didn’t regret anything. Next, we just had to get through our first Thanksgiving dinner together.

Hudson stopped and turned back around. “By the way, you look beautiful... Always have been.”

He made me blush. I turned my head so he couldn’t see. “Thank you.” And with that, we were on our way.

Chapter 16

Hudson

I couldn’t believe I did it. I kissed her. And it wasn’t just a quick kiss. It was a deep, connected, feel it in our bones kiss.

My hands gripped the steering wheel as I think about it. I tried to glance at Amelia without her noticing. She was looking out the window with her elbow propped up on the door and her hand resting on her chin. She was beautiful. She had to have been thinking about the kiss, too. I just needed to go for it. We were magnetic.

A part of me felt weird because she was the first woman I had kissed in almost two years. I was hard the second our lips met. Thinking about it made my face turn red and I was trying not to grin like a teenager, so I went back and forth, looking at the road ahead and looking out my window. I needed to focus on getting through Thanksgiving dinner.

I was really trying to keep Vinny’s words in my head. I knew it was okay, and everything was going to be fine. Just because I was developing feelings for Amelia didn’t mean I had forgotten about Dev or that she wasn’t important to me. I just had to keep reminding myself of that. I noticed that as time went on, it got easier, and I was making progress. I was thankful for that, at least.

The car was too quiet, and the air was thick. “Amelia. How do you feel about this dinner? Are you okay?” I asked.

She turned and looked at me with a smile. I had to force myself to look away. I could sit there and take in all her features. The longer I watched her, the more I noticed the little things that made her beautiful. Her hair and eyes pulled me in. I was mesmerized. She fidgeted with her delicate hands when she said, “I’m excited to see your friends again. I don’t have any questions. I mean…I met them all once already. I think as long as there’s no bonfire, we should be good.to.go!”

I sensed the sarcasm in her voice. “It’s ok, ya know. You don’t need to feel some type of way about it. We all have things.”

“I know...I guess I’m still embarrassed, that’s all.” She paused before speaking again. “Hudson. Do your friends know about Kevin? I mean, what happened that day at the diner?”

I had anticipated her asking that and hoped she didn’t get mad. “The only person that knows is Vinny. He called me and helped me work through my shit that day after our kiss.”

She looked down at her hands again and set them in her lap, then nodded. Her lips parted, like she wanted to say something but didn’t, so I used the opportunity to reassure her.

“Don’t worry, he won’t say anything, Am. I mean...he wants to bury Kevin with me, but he won’t make you uncomfortable about it. It’s alright. He just wants me to be happy and he wanted reassurance that you were ok.” I cleared my throat. “So…um…are you? Okay, I mean?”

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