Page 28 of Crash and Burn

She laughed, and said, “Yeah, it’s about time.” We exchanged phone numbers, finally, and I didn’t need to worry about us not being able to reach each other again.

I said, “I went to the kitchen to eat and saw the cake in the freezer. I couldn’t eat it by myself. You bought it for me. I wanted to eat itwith you.”

She flashed a glowing smile, standing there in an oversized sweatshirt, tights, and a messy bun on her head.

“Thanks, Hudson. It’s ok. You didn’t have to. It was for you.”

“What good is cake if you eat it by yourself?”

She shrugged. “I guess you’re right. No one should eat cake alone on their birthday.” She waved for me to follow her to the kitchen. It was small, but warm and inviting, like her.

She grabbed paper plates down from the cupboard, saying, “Hope you don’t mind. I’m pulling out my finest dinnerware for this cake.”

That made me chuckle. I hated doing dishes, too. “Hey…no judgment here. I live off paper plates.”

Amelia went to cut the cake, but hesitated. She turned and started rummaging through a drawer. “Ah! I found one!” Turning back to me she held up a single candle.

“Ha. You don’t have to light a candle.”

“Oh, shut up.” She placed the candle in the cake, grabbed a lighter and lit it. Turning out the kitchen light, she slid into the chair across from me, and sang, “Happy birthday to you…happy birthday to you… happy birthday dear Hudson…Happy birthday to you…Oh wait, you look like a monkey and act like one too!”

I couldn’t stop laughing. “Wow! That started out so sweet.”

She shrugged, “What can I say? I like to be original. Make a wish.”

Make a wish.For the first time, my wish is different. I looked up at Amelia and she was smiling. I blew out the candle and closed my eyes.

“Thanks, Amelia.”

“Woo! You’re welcome. Hang on. I’ll cut it.” She flipped the light back on and cut the cake.

We sat on her couch, with her at one end and me at the other while we ate our cake. It felt really weird to be in a woman’s house at ten o’clock at night, having a good time.

She glanced at me and said, “Tell me about your work, Hudson.”

“My work. Well, I’m an artist. I take on commission work for people who need something creative. Graphic designs and illustrations, mostly.”

“That’s really cool. Do you love it?”

“I do. It brings me joy in an otherwise depressing life.”

“Depressing? Why?”

I paused looking at my empty plate. I set it on the coffee table, not sure where I should start. “The past two years, well almost two years, have been really hard.” I paused again.

“It’s ok. You don’t have to go into it.”

She could tell I was hesitating. “Nineteen months ago…on April tenth….my wife was killed in a car accident.”

Amelia gasped. “Hudson... I am so sorry.”

“She didn’t die on impact, but it landed her in a coma, and I had to make the decision to eventually let her go. It was the hardest decision of my life.” She let me continue talking.

“Since then, I’ve been in a dark place, not recognizing myself. I’ve slept a lot and mostly just kept to myself in the house. The barbecue that you came to was the first time I had seen my friends in months. Today…this was special. I didn’t do anything last year. I was dreading turning thirty-five... Fucking thirty-five. My life was not at all what I thought it was going to be when I turned thirty-five. You made today better though. So, thank you.”

Amelia smiled, took a drink of her coffee, and kept listening.

I continued, “That first time I came to the diner was because Carter showed up at my place and basically insisted that I leave the house, otherwise he was going to have me committed to a psych ward.” I laughed. “He didn’t actually say that, but in his own way, he let me know that how I was treating myself wasn’t good. I didn’t realize it until I came to the diner and remembered what warmth felt like. The diner has that warmth. Then, I met you. I was a complete ass hat. I was dealing with a lot of anxiety. I still am. Every day I try to just take it as it comes, and some days are better than others. Today was a good day.”

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