Page 19 of Crash and Burn

“He can get fucked. For sure call the cops. Serves him right.”

“Ugh. I can’t see…I’m trying to see out my window.”I pulled the blinds just slightly to try and see who was standing at my door.

BOOM BOOM BOOM

“Amelia...It’s Hudson!”

“Oh MotherFuck! It’s fucking Hudson!”

“At 9 pm? What the hell? Go answer the door and then you need to tell me what this is about!”

“Ok love you, bye.”

“Love you too, bye.”

I pulled my sweater over my head and ran to the door, unlatching every lock, and yanking it open with a glare. He was standing there looking worried and I’m sure to him I looked pissed because I was. I let out a huff.

“Amelia, what’s the matter with you?”

“What’s the matter withme? What the hell is the matter withyou, coming to a woman’s house at 9 o’clock at night and banging on her door like you’re about to break in. This is horseshit. Ialmostpissed myself, and Ialmostcalled the cops on you, Hudson!” I folded my arms across my chest, trying to calm down.

“Are you going to invite me in, or should I stand out here in the cold all night?”

I rolled my eyes. “For someone I just met a week ago, you sure are bossy.”

“Look, I invited you to a barbecue and then suddenly you’re nowhere to be found for three days. What the hell isthatabout? I wasn’t going to pry about your sudden need to leave on Saturday, but why haven’t you been at work?”

I threw my hands in the air. “Look! I don’t owe you any explanation. I went to the barbecue to helpyou!” I poked his chest. “If I’m being honest, I don’t know you well enough to share shit with you.” I walked over to the front door and opened it. “I’d like you to leave.” He stood there looking hurt, which pinged at something in my gut. I felt bad instantly, but I didn’t say anything.

“Okay, Amelia.” He held his hands up in defeat and nodded his head. “I was just worried about you. My mistake. You clearly don’t need anyone to worry about you. I won’t make that mistake again.”

He shook his head and walked out the door. He didn’t even look back. Why would he? I was being an ass. I closed the door, leaned my back against it and cried before dragging myself back to my bedroom and climbing back in bed.

Friday– Hudson

I went to the diner on Friday afternoon, feeling like a glutton for punishment. Knowing Amelia was all right mattered to me. I wasn’t completely self-absorbed. I hoped Amelia would be working. When I walked in, I saw Sheila at the counter. Her face lit up and she said, “Have a seat at your booth, honey.”

My booth. That was sweet. I realized that I had sat at the same booth since I started coming to Sharon’s and I started to feel like a regular. It was hard to believe that it had only been a week. It felt like months. There was a strange feeling inside me that I couldn’t quite pin down, but it felt like...caring. Except for my friends, I hadn’t cared much about anything, or anyone, after Devina died. In fact, I felt more like a burden even to my friends than someone they could lean on. I was slowly waking up to the realization that Amelia had changed that, and I cared about her.

Sheila came over to my table bringing my usual coffee ingredients. I wanted to ask her about Amelia. I hesitated, then finally asked, “Has she been in yet?”

Sheila looked down at me with a brief pained smile and shook her head.

I looked down at my coffee and said, “I tried to visit her on Wednesday night, and she kicked me out.”

“Why? Was she okay?”

“I showed up unannounced.”

“Oh, Hudson. That can scare the daylights out of a woman in the middle of the night.”

I nodded, embarrassed, “I realize that now, and I feel terrible, but I didn’t have her phone number, and I just wanted make sure she was ok.”

“Hudson, it’s not my story to tell, but Amelia has been through some things. Something triggered her on Saturday night and when that happens, she sort of goes into the worst version of herself.”

I know what triggered her. At least I think I know.

“Can I ask you something, Sheila?”