Page 60 of Crash and Burn

Hudson

We were pretty quiet most of the drive to my house. I was so nervous. Not nervous about anything except her seeing my place and how different it looked. I didn’t know how she would react. It felt like a lot to put on her that night, but I didn’t want to leave her at her apartment alone, or with her apartment looking the way it did. The night had already been absolute insanity and I still couldn’t wrap my head around everything that happened. I didn’t know how Amelia was truly coping with everything because aside from the few times she looked like she was going to cry, and the two times she actually did cry, she was so quiet.

My phone went off in my pocket. It was Vinny so I answered it, asking him if he was okay. He said he was, then asked about Amelia, making me glance over at her, she’s just staring out the window. I guess Bianca flipped out when she saw Vinny’s hand, but also cursed Kevin and understood that Vinny needed to come and help, just in case. We didn’t know what level of scumbag Kevin really was. I thanked him again and hung up.

I turned to Amelia. “Vinny just wanted to check on you.”

“He was wonderful. I didn’t expect to bump into him when I ran. He handed me his keys and told me to wait inside his car until I saw the police arrive or one of you two come out of the house. I’m grateful he was there. I’m gratefulyouwere there, Hudson.”

“Of course. Sheila called me and I freaked. Amelia, I don’t know what I would’ve done if something happened to you…” My voice trailed off and it was quiet again. I glanced over to her, and she was fidgeting with her hands.

We pulled up to my house, so I got out, hurrying to open her door and grab her bag. I could feel my heart thumping harder the closer we got to the house. Unlocking the door, I gestured for her to go in first. When we stepped inside, her reaction was audible.

She gasped and her hands flew up to cover her mouth. “Hudson. What happened to this place?”

I moved past her, setting her bag down by the couch and turned to stand in the middle of the living room. Her eyes were lit up. I put my hands in my pockets and shrugged. “It was time to make this a place that I could see my future and not be stuck in the past.” I looked around the living room and back to the dining room and kitchen. “What do you think?”

Amelia took a few steps forward, her hands still up near her mouth. She was just taking it all in, studying the bookshelves we installed, the photos of us, and then she got to the new record player stand for our record player. She was so quiet; you could hear a pin drop right now. I watched her as she picked up the photo we took at Thanksgiving. I didn’t say anything. I just wanted her to take a minute and understand what all of this meant.

“Hudson…why did you do this?” She didn’t turn to me, so I walked up behind her and placed my hands on each side of her arms. She was still holding the photo.

I kissed the back of her head. “Amelia, will you turn and look at me, please?” She finally set the photo down and turned to me with tears in her eyes. I thought,Ok, it’s now or never.I let out a deep breath, trying to steady my heart rate and breathing.

“Amelia, when you left, it destroyed me. It gutted me and I completely fell apart. I should’ve stopped you and I didn’t. I should’ve told you to stay and I didn’t. I’ve never had anyone else in my house and I didn’t really think through what that meant. I wanted to believe I was ready. We had spent so much time together. I just wanted to be with you.” I paused trying to read her thoughts, but she didn’t say anything, so I went on, caressing her cheek. “You walked into my life, and I wasn’t expecting you. I wasn’t expecting all of these feelings. I had spent so much time avoiding any kind of emotion, with anyone. You offered me the universe and it knocked me off my feet.”

“Hudson…” I stopped her.

“Please…let me finish. I need to get it all out.” She nodded her head. “I know the life I was living is not what Devina would’ve wanted for me. I know that. She was larger than life, Amelia. She was every great thing in my life. I’d never met anyone like her. Then I met you in the diner that day. You were warm and caring, and even though I was a complete fucking mess, you let me know it was ok. It was ‘just spilled coffee’, right?”

We laughed as I wiped away the tears that were running down her cheeks and said, “I wanted to be near you all the time, but I didn’t know what that meant. I wanted to know you were safe and I didn’t even know you. You coming to the cookout with me saved my life.You saved my life, Amelia, and I don’t think you have any idea how much that meant to me.Spending more time with you just came so naturally and then it became a necessity. That first time we were intimate on the couch, obviously freaked me out, but I loved it. I just wanted more time with you. I was still working through my things in my head, but I wanted to be with you. And what you did for my birthday…” I let out another breath, trying not to choke up.Get it together, Hudson. She deserves this conversation.“...it’s up there as one of the best days of my life. You have no idea. My birthday, Thanksgiving, and everything in between. I’m sorry for what Kevin has done to you. Even that day, when he showed up at the diner,I knew I would fucking do anything to make sure you were safe.” I groaned out of frustration because I felt like I was taking forever to get to the fucking point. “... Amelia…I want you in my life. I want you with me all the time. I want to make sure you’re safe. I want to make you laugh and spend nights readingScary Stories to Tell in The Dark.” She laughed through her tears.

“I want you to pick out books written by hot old witchy ladies like Anne Rice for me and eat at diners with me and go to record stores with me.” We laughed again. “I want to have arguments with you because I know I’ll get to kiss you to make up for it… like this…” I reached down and kissed her, slow and deep. When I pulled back, her eyes were still closed, and she exhaled.She’s so fucking beautiful.“I want more dates with you, dinners with you, more cookouts, and more Thanksgivings. I know it hasn’t been long, Amelia, but you’ve changed my entire life. I was a shell before I met you, barely surviving. You saved my life and I love you for it…” She inhaled sharp.Shit.“Amelia, it’s ok if you don’t feel the same. It’s been a wild night and a wild several months, but I need you to know that I love you and I think I’ve loved you since the day you took me to ride a city bus for my birthday…I swear on everything I am that I will spend every day showing you that. You deserve everything. It’s ok if you don’t…” She surprised me and put her hand over my mouth.

“Hudson, shut up.” She laughed and let her hand fall. “Tonight, was unreal. I’m still processing it all. One minute I’m fearing for my life and the next, you’re breaking my door down and beating the shit out of Kevin. It’s a lot to process.”

“I know. I know baby and that’s why…” She covered my mouth again.Shit.

“Hudson! SSsshhhut. up. I love you, too.”

I was fucking stunned. I didn’t expect her to say it back right then and there. I didn’t. “Um…wait…you…really?” It was all I could get out.

“Yes, you fool. I love you. I love you. And I want all those same things with you.”

She fucking loves me!I leaned in to kiss her, wrapping my arms around her. I just might fucking crush her.

“Hudson…I need to say something.” I let her go, taking a step back to look at her. “I see what you’ve done to the house, so I know this is a conversation that needs to be had too. I don’t want you to ever think you can’t talk about Devina to me or about your emotions. Promise me. Promise me you won’t run from me. I want to be there for you. I have no false illusion that you’re just okay overnight.”

I nodded. “Amelia, I swear I won’t run, but I didn’t move forward overnight. I’ve moved on over the last several months and that’s thanks to you and my friends. Devina will always hold a special place in my heart, but I loveyouAmelia. I’m crazy about you and I would be lost if I ever let you walk out of my house again. I love you. Stay with me.”

Unpacking could wait, I just wanted to be with her. I wanted to be with my girl. Pulling her close, I kissed her, wrapped her arms around my neck and lifted her up. She clenched her legs around my waist. With my hands gripping her ass and our tongues intertwined, I led us to our room.

Chapter 25

Amelia

I couldn’t believe everything that had happened that night, and I was a whirlwind of emotions after what Hudson had said, pouring out his soul and confessing his love for me. I thought,He loves me, and I love him... I have for a long time.He wouldn’t stop talking long enough for me to get a word in, so I brought my hand up and covered his mouth again. “Hudson! SSsshhhut. up. I love you too.” He looked so shocked, and it made me giggle.

“Um…wait…you…really?”Oh my god, he’s such a mess.

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