Page 42 of Crash and Burn

“My giant fucked up family.” I laughed which made Vinny laugh.

“That’s right, we are, but we love the shit outta you so tell me what’s goin’ on. Your version. Not this telephone version from the girls.”

I took a breath and dived right into it.

“Alright. Last Friday we were supposed to get Christmas Tree’s. One for my place, and one for hers. Things have been going good, man. We’ve been having a good time, ya know. Nothing serious. I think I noticed a small shift when we had dinner at her place. I didn’t really want to admit it but toward the end of the night I was feeling something for her. It freaked me out, obviously. Then she tells me this story about her ex and what a prick he is. Vinny, man, she has these scars on her hand and arm that I never noticed before.”

“Scars? What’d he do?”

“Long story, but he was mentally abusive to her and physically. A real piece of shit.”

“Fuckin’ prick…I’m tellin’ you these fuckin’ assholes who put their hands on women… You know what we do with assholes like that?”

I can always count on Vinny to keep shit real.

“Yeah Vinny, I know. I wanted to go dig a hole and get it ready. Trust me.”

“Okay, so what happened?”

“So yeah, she’s tellin’ me her story and I find myself on my knees in front of her holding her hands. I just couldn’t believe that someone could hurt her like that. She’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, Vin. I hugged her, kissed her forehead and then I headed out shortly after that.”

“You kissed her forehead… I mean, bro…that’s sayin’ a lot, right? Tell me that’s not sayin’ a lot right there.”

“It is. I know. She’s beautiful, amazing. That’s when I invited her to pick out Christmas Trees the next day. I pick her up around noon and we head to the diner to get lunch before going out.”

There was silence for a minute. I cleared my throat.

“Vinny man, this son of a bitch showed up.”

“The ex?”

“Yeah, man. I was at the booth and Amelia went to grab us coffee. I heard something break and when I looked up to see what was going on, it was Amelia. She dropped the cups and she’s standing there, frozen, staring at this asshole at the counter.”

I stood up at this point and started pacing back and forth in my living room while I told Vinny the story. I could feel myself getting worked up all over again.

“Long story short, we get him to leave but he’s certifiable, man. He’s a fucking scumbag. He left and Amelia passed out. Like, faints right there in my arms. So, I take her home to her apartment and put her to bed. I decided to stay until she woke up, but I fell asleep on the couch.”

I walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter. Vinny was still listening intently. I’m telling you, he’s so good about knowing when to speak up and when to just let me go off.

“She came over to the couch and we’re sittin’ there and at some point she just starts cryin’, man. She is crying so hard, so I hugged her. I got my arms wrapped around her and I’m just reassuring her that I’m there and that asshole won’t get near her.”

“And…?” he finally asked.

“And then …then we kissed.” I just spit it out.

“You kissed!?”

“We kissed. And it wasn’t just a kiss…this was a deep, her straddling me on the couch type of kiss. Fuck, Vinny.”

“Okay…so what’s tha problem there, now?”

“What’s the problem? Seriously, man. Um, I’m married, and my wife died. I shouldn’t be kissing another woman…and liking it. I liked it, a lot. I feel like such an asshole.”

“Alright, I’m gonna stop you there, bro. You know we loved Devina. That was our girl. She was family and she was a class act and an amazing woman, so don’t bite my head off with what I’m about to say, because I mean no disrespect.”

“Just say it, Vinny.”

“You WERE married…but you’re not anymore. Your wife died almost two years ago. That’s alongtime, bro. You can kiss anyone you want and the fact that you haven’t until now just says a lot about who you are as a person. You respected what you had with Devina, but Hud, it’s time to move on. It’s time to let her go. I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s true. This torment and shit you’re putting yourself through right now; Dev wouldn’t want this for you.”

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