Page 25 of Caught off Guard

“Good for you. Maybe in the future, you can take time to travel for pleasure and not just for work.” She sipped her wine and smiled.

“You’re onto something there. Cece and I traveled to art museums around the world throughout our marriage. There’s so much of the world to visit. I don’t like traveling alone though.” I took another bite of salmon as I remembered how much fun Cece and I had exploring historic cities.

Zora pulled dormant feelings to the surface. I wanted to travel, joke, and laugh every day, making new memories that left me feeling warm and fuzzy. Her eyes rested on my lips, causing me to smile at her attentiveness.

Before this week, I wasn’t so sure about what the future held for me, but after our exchange, I wanted to lean into the suppressed emotions she pulled from me. For the first time in a long time, I wanted to talk about the past, even if it was painful. Pain and budding joy could coexist. To be the best man I could be, I needed to hope for something bigger than I was and believe that my future would be brighter. Zora confirmed that was possible. Tonight’s banter made me feel alive.

“I liked that you removed your mask for me earlier.” I sipped my water and wiped my mouth with my cloth napkin before placing it on my lap.

Zora dabbed the side of her mouth and rested her hands beneath the table.

“What do you mean? What mask do you see?”

“In your office, you were sharp, pointy, and kind of haughty, almost accusatory. I saw glimpses of something deeper and sincere though. I took a chance inviting you to my home. When you accepted, I wasn’t sure how this weekend would go, but I like this authentic version of you. It’s charming.”

“Thank you. You’re charming and fun too. You’ve created the perfect atmosphere for me to display my softer side. I saw that when you comforted me. To be honest, being in your arms broke something in me. In a good way,” she added quickly.

I beamed, pleased at her vulnerability.

“Why not just keep this mask off all the time?”

Zora drank water from her glass and set it back on the table, her posture perfect. She stared at me so long I wondered if she would answer my question.

“It’s a habit. When I was young, I was called a know-it-all and a goodie two-shoes despite trying to follow the rules my parents gave my twin sister Lena and me. I have always loved order. I wasn’t about trying to outshine anyone, but no matter what, I made enemies when I excelled. After a while, I minimized my accolades and stopped celebrating them in front of others. I made myself small and surrounded myself with people who got more attention than I did. I didn’t want Lena to be my only friend.”

Zora’s admission touched my heart.

“It’s cool to be a twin. Are you identical?”

“Yes. I’m older by five minutes.”

“I like your names too—Zora and Lena. Is there a story behind that?”

“Yes again. Our parents are old school and love Black literature and art, so they named us after two great historic figures. I’m named for the anthropologist and writer Zora Neale Hurston. Lena is named after the singer and actress Lena Horne. It’s a bonus that our last name is Langston.”

“As in Langston Hughes?”

Zora chuckled.

“Exactly. We are Black historied out, whether we want to be or not.”

“I love that. Zora is an elegant name for a distinguished woman. My favorite quote of hers is, ‘If you’re silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.’”

“That’s one of my favorites too. It’s why I try to be consistent about speaking up about oppression in my life and toward Black people.”

Zora’s commitment to freedom made me wonder why she wasn’t more liberated in her personal relationship. I wanted to be gentle with my next question, although I didn’t mind being messy either.

“Do you move like that with Geoff?”

Zora shifted in her chair and lowered her eyes to her half-eaten dinner. She pushed a carrot across the plate and set her fork down.

“I never thought about it. He’s a good guy.”

When she didn’t come across as defensive about my probing, I continued.

“As your friend, may I be honest?”

She nodded.

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