Page 105 of Shadowed Obsession

She stares incredulously and pushes past me to enter the room, scanning the space as if she is looking for something. I follow her, asking questions, but she remains silent.

After she’s covered every corner of the room, she speaks.

“Rocky said Andrea can’t find his teddy bear that Cidro gave him. He had it with him at the party. We can’t fly home without it. I can’t give my baby any more bad news,” she says tearfully.

“We’re going to find it.”

“Okay,” she sniffles. “Thanks.”

“He was playing video games with Darius and Angie in Dad’s office, so it’s probably there,” I suggest, trotting up the stairs with her on my heels.

I enter the room where we had our loved ones stash their belongings, and sure enough, when I kneel to peek under the desk, that teddy bear is staring right at me. I sigh in relief that Andrea’s memento is found, hoping it brings Regina some ease.

“I found it,” I say, retrieving the stuffed animal.

“I miss him so much,” she croaks.

I sit up on my heels to see Regina seated on the couch hunched over, and when I stand, a wracked sob escapes her lips.

Oh shit.

“Hey, it’s okay. See?” I ask, holding up the stuffed bear as I rush to her side.

She cradles her face in her hands, and I awkwardly sit beside her, opting to rub her back while she gets this out.

“You know everybody thinks I killed him,” she chokes.

“Cidro? No, they don’t,” I lie.

Yes, they do.

“People think that I killed the love of my life. My best friend. My fucking partner.”

“I don’t think that,” I reassure her, telling the truth.

I have a lot of opinions about my cousin, but I know she wouldn’t have harmed a hair on his head. She loved him far too much and is suffering more than she lets on.

“Why would I do that to him? My kids? Myself? Help me make sense of it,” she sobs, reaching for the bear and clutching it as if it’s a lifeline.

“Well, I know what it’s like for people to say things like that about me,” I add begrudgingly.

Lawrence wasn’t the love of my life, but I fear César could have been.

Yet another thing this family has ruined for me.

She ignores my comment, willing herself to settle down. “It’s so easy for people to judge and paint me as a monster. Cici always said she didn’t mind the rumors and fear, but I have a hard time believing that. I bet she’d lock herself in her room at night and crumble like I do. No woman is strong enough to bear all this weight and show up for their children without fail. You’re bound to fuck something up.”

My stomach sinks at her confession. I’m guilty of looking at her the same way; as a monster. Meanwhile she’s trying to survive and raise a family like Cici did.These same concerns are why I am unsure I’d be the parent my kids deserve while living under the Klarke shadow.

“I can’t just take everybody out that doesn’t like me. I don’t have the support to survive a war, and I have to be mindful because my babies need me. No one understands the pressure I’m under. So yeah, my son losing his teddy was enough for me to crack,” she admits, peering over at me.

“It’s okay. We found it, so no bad news for Andrea. As for everything else, I don’t know what to say, Gi. I wish Cici and Ace were still here to give us advice. Though, I think we both know what they’d say. They had a low tolerance for insubordination.”

She nods in agreement, distracted by a chime on her phone, and I stand to gather my things. We found what she needed, and I want to be left alone, but I don’t want to kick her out. Especially when it seems like the both of us are in need of a little company.

Low taps sound from her keyboard as she texts back a response, glancing up at me as if she just thought of something.

Whatever it is, no.

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