Page 42 of Elevator Pitch

“I suppose I could, but that defeats the purpose.”

“C’mon, Grey. Name your price.”

I chuckle. “Are you thinking about what you’d even say to her if you matched? Or how you’d ask her on a date like a normal person?”

“Of course not. I haven’t gotten that far yet,” he admits.

“I’m sorry, man.” I break out into a fit of chuckles. “You have asked me not to intervene for the past decade, but now you’d like me to? I still think it’d be easier if you just had a conversation.”

“Maybe I will download the app just to prove you wrong. When I match with a bunch of women that are not Elena, I’ll have some choice words for you.”

“Alright. That’s fair. I gotta get back to work. Help her decide on a picture and consider signing up.”

“Okay,” he says, sounding defeated, but I just need him to trust me. “Love you, man.”

“I love you too,” I say as I hang up. Moments later, my phone dings with a text from the group chat.

Fools in NY

Alex

The first one

Elena

I knew you’d pick that one! Grey?

Me

The first one

Elena

I am officially on the dating scene!

She sends a screenshot of her profile to the group chat. I wait for Alex to respond, and he doesn’t. My phone dings again, and it’s a text from Alex in a separate thread.

Alex

Alex

I’m on the damn app. You happy now?

I start my stopwatch and wait to hear from them. I’m just curious if my predictions were right.

Me

Very happy. *J. Cole voice* lol

Got any matches yet?

Alex

No

Now we wait. Should be any minute now.I tap my feet in anticipation. My phone dings twice. Two separate threads from them both.

Elena