Page 30 of Elevator Pitch

I giggle nervously. “I didn’t say that.”

“Tell me what you want, Selah,” he says in a gravelly tone.

Oh My God.

“Um. I want you to kiss me, Greyson,” I whisper hoarsely.

He leans forward, staring at my lips, tilting my chin towards him. His mouth closes over mine with a demanding kiss. His tongue swipes at the seam of my lips, and I grant him entry, savoring his flavor. He indulges, pressing his hard body against me and I melt into him. He tapers off the kiss with gentle nips as he returns to his height. Our chests rise and fall as we catch our breaths.

He rubs his thumb over my bottom lip, holding my gaze. I feel my legs quivering.

“Is it working?” he asks.

“What?”

“You said to ask at the end of the date.”

Oh. The seducing me thing.

“Yeah,” I say breathily.

“Remember, I’m a call away if you needanything,”he says, flashing a smile as he walks backward.

He’s diabolical.

“Goodnight, Selah. See you Tuesday?”

I stand in the doorway reeling as I take him in once more.

“Of course. Good night, Greyson.”

1 hibiscus syriacus

14

the haunt

Selah

Brooklyn, NY | October 24, 2023

My ex isthe topic of discussion since my nightmares have become more prevalent, so I’m irritated during this session. I hate talking about him. I hate thinking about him. He quite literally haunts me, and while I understand life isn’t fair, I shouldn’t be the one suffering. I got my freedom, but I don’tfeelfree. Still. I may be to blame for that. Forgiving and forgetting isn’t easy, nor is that something I wish to do. He’s not worthy of either.

You know how we’re taught as little girls that when a boy is mean to you, he likes you? Well, that’s dangerous for many reasons because we aren’t teaching them to be kind, and us girls learn to accept whatever crumbs they give us. We’re easily impressed by the bare minimum, and them being mean isn’t a dealbreaker if you’re conditioned like many of us are. However, it leads us to find a man like I did. I didn’t even like Jourdan on our first date, but I gave him a chance as if I owed him something.

I didn’t.

If only the strike system existed for me back then.

I attended a well-executed pity party with a fog machine andhouse of mirrors. During my time there, he learned all my ins and outs for his benefit. Emotional manipulation was his favorite game to play and I lost every time. You’d think he’d be satisfied with his wins, but he never was.

His bruising victory laps made me a sore loser. Still, I’d forfeit and cry for mercy. He loved me, at least that’s what he’d say during timeout, but he refused. Even claimed there was no way out, not even a fire exit.

It doesn't escape me that after just one date with Greyson, I already feel more safe and secure with him than I had during the entirety of my relationship with Jourdan.

Greyson is interested in me formeand not for what he can gain from our relationship. He shares things, personal things, about himself that I'm certain no one knows. He makes me feelgood. Like when he's speaking to me, I'm truly the only one holding his attention. When I was with Jourdan, I had to not only learn the game we were playing, butdefeathim.

I called his bluff, learned his tells, and studied him formybenefit. I eventually escaped Jourdan’s house of mirrors and never looked back. He handled the breakup as expected, victimizing himself and making me the bad guy. I ignored him, though he was creative, using threats he didn’t act on. I haven’t heard from him in over a year, or any of his aliases either. Although, I swear I saw his face on a missing person poster once, I figured my mind was playing tricks on me, so I just let it go.

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