Page 15 of Elevator Pitch

“Girl, please. I met him a week ago in the elevator. That man hardly knows me.”

“He described her as captivating,” she says to Chess and her eyebrows shoot up. “We’re going to circle back to what happened in this elevator momentarily. The man read a romance novel just to talk to you. He’s interested. Even said he’s a fan of Lilith Keene and can’t wait for her next book.”

“I think I like him already,” Chess adds.

Audrey blurts, “Meeting a fine man in an elevator was not mentioned in the group chat this week. Why not?”

“There was nothing to tell.”

The girls all collectively give me a look that screamsbullshit.

“Who is this fucking guy? I need to do a background check on him,” Eric says.

“I just said it’s nothing and relax. You don’t do background checks on any of mySoulBlenddates.”

He begins humming as he walks backward, still facing me when he asks, “Audrey, what guy lives here that you’d consider attractive that has a dog?”

She takes a break from setting up the charcuterie board to wash her hands. She looks up for a moment. “Hell, if I know. I just own the building. Avery’s more involved with this property than I am, but the property manager’s name is Harlan.”

“Does he live on site? Let’s pay him a visit. Surely there’s some records on this guy with the dog, and you have a key to the office.”

“He does live here, but we’re not bothering him. We’re going to talk about books tonight, and you areoff dutyanyway.” She whips her head around and flings her wet hands at him before grabbing a towel. “Go find something else to do. You’re stressing me out.”

“Fine.” He scoffs, grabbing a handful of food from the board she’s preparing, and stuffs his mouth full. When he swallows, he says, “This book was fucking nasty. I was hard as abuildingreading it.”

We all burst into laughter.

“See what I gotta deal with?” Audrey says, shaking her head as she resumes plating the snacks.

Eric is nothing like what he seems at first glance. He presents himself as a grumpy and quiet person professionally, but he really lets loose when he’s comfortable, like me. I’ve found him to be a real wildcard, like Chess. You also can never predict what he’s going to say next, like Audrey. A bad idea often soundsgood, like Daya. He can always cheer you up with a laugh, a good time and is fiercely protective, which sums up the whole group. It makes perfect sense why he fits right in.

“I’m excited for us to talk about this book,” Audrey says, bringing over the charcuterie board she’s been working on in the kitchen. Eric is close behind with more snacks and spreads to set on my coffee table. Chess and Daya come in with their drinks while Audrey sets up the slideshow. We arethatkind of book club, and we all contribute. We have somehow managed to make slideshows both entertaining and educational while talking about smut.

It’s a talent, really.

“Is Rome coming?” I ask Audrey.

“He’ll be here. We read this one together. Well, he read it me with the narrator voice,” she adds, blushing.

Audrey’s long-time boyfriend, Rome, is a hot-shot criminal defense lawyer. One of the best in the country. When he’s not working, he’s busy being a book boyfriend, another role he enjoys very much. That’s why he secretly loves playing narrator and insists on reading her books to her as often as he can.

He does have the voice for it.

Like Eric, he’s an honorary member of the ‘Hapless In Love Book Club.’ As much as he pretends not to care, he hates missing meetings when he’s stuck working on cases. He doesn’t have a bunch of time to read our monthly picks, so he opts for the audiobooks while working and commuting. I can’t imagine him doing either while maintaining a straight face. Eric sure as hell can’t and reads in public, often at the office with Audrey, adjusting himself, turning red and everything. It’s hilarious, and he’ll just keep on reading.

A knock on the door sounds, I look up and it’s Rome letting himself in.

“Sorry, I’m late. I had a meeting with the partners at the firm. Did I miss anything?”

“Not yet. We just started eating and setting up the slides.”

“Good shit,” he says as he gets settled, grabbing a seat on the sectional beside Audrey. He greets her with a peck and rests his hand on her thigh.

Eric dims the lights and the slideshow starts. Lilith Keene’s name flashes across the screen with a photo of the book cover.

Audrey kicks it off. “Welcome, Hapless Lovers. Thank you all for coming. Tonight, we’ll be going over our club pick for August. Lilith Keene’s debut and new favorite of mine. Last month, we dove into enemies-to-lovers territory with this workplace romance. Let’s see what you rated it.”

She flips through everyone’s star ratings; I’m not surprised to see five stars from the whole club for this book. We usually start off serious, then get into the spice before crying. Currently, the memes in the slideshow have us laughing uncontrollably at the best dirty quotes. ‘The Hapless In Love Book Club’ slogan is:If it ain’t got spice, no dice.

---