Page 13 of Cruel Start

He stopped inches from my face, his silver eyes swirling with a deadly concoction of anger and panic. “You said you were on the pill.”

“What? No. I never told you that.”

“You did. You said you were protected. Why the hell else wouldn’t I have used a condom?”

The memory of that moment flashed through my mind, and I saw myself again, bobbing, unsteady without his support, completely naked, vulnerable. He had asked if I was protected, and to my horror, I realized that I may have nodded.

“Are you sure?”

“Listen, asshole.” I pounced. “I was a virgin. I haven’t been with anyone since you.” I was so angry I was shaking. I wanted him to pay for making me defend myself and tossed in a dig to strike at his ego. “Besides, it wasn’t good enough to make me want to give it another go.”

The fucker had pissed me off. I hoped he thought he sucked in bed and that he’d ruined sex for me. At my lie, a self-assured smirk chased away the panic on his face.Great.That wasn’t what my insult was meant to do.

He backed me against the car, and the press of his big, hard body did unwanted things to mine.Fine.I could admit it. I was insanely attracted to him—but just my traitorous body, not my mind. Then his hand was at my neck, and he had my complete attention as the vivid memory of our one time together exploded in my thoughts.

His fingers were firm against my skin, just like they had been then, holding me in place with my back against the car. A burst of heat ignited low in my belly, and I had to swallow the moan that threatened to escape. My pulse slammed against his thumb, betraying how much he turned me on.

“We need to get a couple of things straight here.”

His deep voice vibrated through his chest and into me, weakening my knees, and the need to squirm against him was almost unbearable.

“I was asking if you’re sure you’re pregnant, not if it’s mine.”

He leaned in, his stubbled face brushing along my cheek, causing shivers to erupt over every inch of me. I couldn’t move if I wanted to. My breath quickened, coming in small pants of anticipation. I fought a losing battle to control myself as he whispered in my ear.

“I knew you were a virgin. It isn’t something a girl can hide.”

Embarrassment flooded me, effectively dousing the lust he’d incited. I placed my hands on his chest and shoved him. He released my throat and backed up a few steps. I knew I wasn’t strong enough to move him. He’d let me.

I hated that he had control and didn’t seem as affected as I was. His words echoed loudly through my mind, a dark stain on my memory.Did I do something wrong when we slept together?I had no experience from which to draw.Was I bad in bed? Is that why he could tell?I hadn’t bled. I’d checked. It bothered me more than I wanted to admit, which meant I definitely couldn’t ask him how he could tell.

A wall seemed to slam over his features, dissipating the lust I’d glimpsed only moments ago, and I shivered from its loss. I didn’t want to deal with whatever he threw at me next.Will he deny the baby’s his or say I’m a slut?

“What do you want to do?”

My head snapped back as if he’d slapped me because I could guess what he wanted to know, and my temper reignited. “Look, I get that this is a shock. It sure as hell was to me yesterday. But all I wanted to do was tell you.” I poked him in the chest. “That’s it. You’re off the hook. I don’t want anything from you. It’s my responsibility now.” I said the words with conviction, punctuating each point by jabbing my finger harder, but inside, I screamed at the top of my lungs. Afraid the emotions warring within would show on my face, I whirled around and hurried away. I couldn’t deal with him any longer.

My feet angrily ate up the sidewalk, putting much-needed distance between us—but is that what I want?In the heat of the moment, yes. As fear and worry seeped past the fading anger, I faced the truth. It wasn’t. Not only that, but we were far enough from my car that I would have to call for a ride, wasting more money I didn’t have to spare.

By the time I was a block away, I had to fight not to look back at him. He hadn’t come after me, which told me everything I needed to know. The realization that I would be on my own—through the pregnancy and after—was my only company on my way back to the devastating reality of my life.

CHAPTER EIGHT

PHOENIX

I’d lashed out, and Aspen had stormed away.Pregnant?She’d taken me by surprise. The noose around my neck had tightened with her news. The past blindsided me with a seismic karmic punch. I wasn’t foolish enough to miss the signs that history attempted to repeat itself. My hands curled into fists.

I wasn’t my father. I wouldn’t abandon my child.

Neither Aspen nor I had handled that well. She’d been defensive, too, but fear had swum behind her angry oceanic eyes. We didn’t even know each other. But that would change because I would insert myself in her life, whether she wanted me there or not.

She’d made it clear that she didn’t expect anything from me, and most guys would be relieved to hear that. I hadn’t been. It also told me what she didn’t say—she was keeping the baby. I would catch up with her and tell her I planned to take responsibility for my kid.

My mind whirled with the news, with how things would change. The financial obligations scared the hell out of me. What I’d gone through as a kid only cemented what I would never do. My sperm donor father hadn’t done shit to help Mom or us. I was nothing like him. And I wouldn’t take handouts from my mom, who worked her fingers to the bone, or my grandparents, who’d paid for everything they could all my life. Besides, the last thing I wanted was to have to go to my hard-ass grandfather and ask for help. I would handle everything, no matter what.

I would get Snake to find me more fights, tapping into the underground college arena—I knew there was one. I just had to be careful not to get caught. While a baby was a game changer, it was something I could handle. Losing my scholarship for illegal fighting and my chance for the NFL was not. I couldn’t dwell on that. It would work out. I would make it happen.

Decision made, I moved to go after Aspen, but before I could, an identical SUV pulled up behind mine. Shane jumped out, rounding the vehicle until he was in front of me.

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