Page 24 of Brutal Days

And while we looked like sisters, I didn’t feel as beautiful as she was. It was fine with me, though. I didn’t care about that. I had plans, and they did not include a guy. Writing was my drug, and I planned to go places. It would already be an uphill battle if I went the reporter route in a male-dominated field. But women were constantly breaking the glass ceiling, and I would be one of them. So my looks, or lack of them, rather, didn’t concern me—I was all about skills and craft.

“I like what you did with your hair,” I said.

Mom had cut it so it fell just above her shoulders and framed her face with a few shorter, wispy pieces in the front.

“Thanks. This is easier for me to manage.” She flashed me a smile then settled next to me. “Ready?”

“Yep.”

She hit start, and I almost groaned. I hadn’t been paying attention to what she’d picked. It wasEnough, starring Jennifer Lopez. Great movie. I loved it, too, and could rewatch it many times. The problem was, I knew why Mom had chosen it. She was nervous and mentally preparing herself because Dad could be released from prison soon.

“You okay?” I cringed at my question, but she smiled and squeezed my arm.

“I am. I just had a craving to watch a girl-power movie.”

“Okay.” I let it go. Besides, I could get into it. I tossed my phone on the coffee table and kicked up my feet.

Movie night with Mom was something I loved. But my mind raced with unanswered questions. And the movie we were watching caused them to churn and multiply with lightning speed. Ten minutes later, I couldn’t stop thinking about what next year would mean or where that would put Mom.

I pulled at a small string on the hem of my T-shirt. Mom and I liked to get comfortable in pajama shorts and tees for movie nights. Even though I was comfortable, something inside me couldn’t relax, and the question burst from me. “Are you ever lonely?”

Mom grabbed the remote and hit pause. She shifted on the couch, bending one leg under the other, and she faced me, her back to the armrest. “Why would you ask that? I love our movie nights.”

I studied the half-moons under her eyes that were only visible because she’d scrubbed the makeup off her face. “You never go on dates or talk about wanting to find someone. I just… I worry about you. You’re passing up opportunities to let someone else into your life because you’re worried about me or just too busy trying to make enough money to pay our bills. And if that’s the case, you know I can help.”

“Oh, Sky.” Mom squeezed my arm. “I’m not lonely, and we’re doing fine with money.”

“Why don’t you date anyone? I’ve never known you to go out with a guy. The only times you do anything outside of work, or spending time with me, is when you and Gabriella do something.”

“I don’t want you to worry about me. I promise I’m happy. But after everything with your father, I’ve realized I don’t want to get married again.”

“So?” I failed to see the problem. “You don’t have to get married to find someone you like spending time with.”

Mom looked over my shoulder, a faraway expression clouding her eyes. “Maybe someday.” Then she swung her gaze back to mine with a clarity that told me she wouldn’t change her mind. “But not now. I’m not ready. I don’t have a desire to get involved with anyone. Maybe that’ll change. Or maybe it won’t, and I’m okay with that.”

“I worry about you,” I confessed one of my biggest fears. “I don’t want to go away to school and leave you alone. Maybe it would be better if I went to the community college instead.”

“You better not, Skylar McCormick.”

“Full naming me, huh?” I teased, but there was no mistaking how serious she was. “Come on, Mom. It makes sense. We won’t have as many bills because I’ll be living at home, and we can do this”—I waved toward the TV—“as often as we want.”

“We can do this anytime you come home to visit. But how do you know I won’t start dating when you’re out of the house? Hmm?” She raised her eyebrows, and that stubborn expression I was more than familiar with challenged me to contradict her. “I said I wouldn’t marry again, not that I wouldn’t ever date.”

“I’m getting whiplash from this conversation.” I was under the impression she wasn’t ready. She’d just said she wasn’t ready.

“I can change my mind.”

I laughed. It was a joke between us. We were women. We reserved the right to change our minds without question.

“You’re going away to school, Sky. It’s important.”

I dropped that part of the subject. “I don’t think I want to get married either.”

“Is that because of what happened between your father and me?” She frowned. “I hope that’s not the reason.”

“No. It’s not. I’m not one of those girls who pictures herself as married with kids. I can’t imagine it. I think Gia’s dreamed of her wedding so much she’s got the entire thing planned down to the placeholders.”

“Light pink and white,” we said at the same time then dissolved into giggles.

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