Page 95 of Please Save Me

“I forgot you ain’t from around here.” He placed his hands on his hips and blew out a breath.

What, did the accent not tip him off? Or that we met in France?

“A hissy fit,” he explained, snapping his fingers in a circle as he thought. “It’s kinda like… uhhh.” He had to pause for another moment before he pointed at me. “Crise de colère”

I gritted my teeth so hard that my jaw hurt when I realized he was essentially telling me I was having a temper tantrum.

“Are you serious right now?” I asked, unsure if I should feel frustrated or embarrassed.

“I am.” His voice was calm, but his drawl seemed thicker than usual. “Now, hand over the bag.”

He held his palm up expectantly.

“No! You literally made me go to the hospital alone–”

“You weren’t alone, you had Seb.”

I cast him a piercing look. “I didn’t want Seb. I was scared, and all I wanted wasyou.”

His gaze softened. “... Are ya still scared?”

His question jolted me back. I knew I told him I was terrified when it happened, but I thought he swept it under the rug. Until right now, no one seemed to care if I had any lingering feelings about the situation.

I sealed my lips tight and nodded. If I had to talk about it, I’d cry, and it felt like that wasallI’d done the last few days.

His expression went softer still. “I had a feelin’ something was still eatin’ at you. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

I rapidly blinked as I tried to keep my tears at bay. “I don’t want to beg you to be there for Rosie, especially if you’re claiming her in public.”

A look of genuine hurt crossed Cameron’s features. “Mason, I love you… both of you–”

“And that’s why my feelings are hurt.” I whimpered.

Cameron wasted no time pulling me in.

“I know you’re a good dad, and I know you love us. But I’m so afraid that somehow you’re going to end up like my dad.” The second I said that I realized how stupid I sounded.

In my dad’s life, I loved him. He was the only one of my parents who wanted anything to do with me, and that caused me to view him through rose-colored glasses. But, after James died and the rosy tint faded, I had a lot of time to reflect on what actually happened. That’s when I realized just how alone I’d spent my childhood.

Neither of my parents were there for anything as a child. Most nights, I’d just be with my au pair, thinking that was how all children lived. Now that the dust had settled, I was afraid that Cameron would end up pushing his child off on someone else whileclaimingto love her.

He could have been missing her first moments of life just because he was afraid of the doctor.

Now that I knew about the cult and that Cameron was Calvin Waters, I thought there might be more to the situation. But that couldn’t change my feelings.

He softly shushed me as he stroked my hair. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think about any of that.”

“I know you didn’t! Because men don’t think!” I sobbed into his chest.

Around now, Sebastian would tell me I was hormonal, or Lucian would just stare at me. Neither of those helped because IknewI wasn’t in my right mind. I’d never been good at expressing my feelings, and right now, I was so emotional it felt like I was actually going insane.

That was another thing my therapist told me was normal. But I didn’t want it to be normal. I wanted to be seen and heard and not just told I was being crazy or immature.

“I know we don’t.” He sighed.

I pulled away from his chest to see if he was fucking with me.

His face was serious, and regret was plain in his eyes. “I know I ain’t always good at understanding. But Iwantto be there for you. Please, just understand that I ain’t a mind reader.”

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