I gritted my teeth to prevent myself from admitting Sebastian was right. I was walking a very fine line of trying to be myself and keep my past hidden. In my soul, I wanted Mason to know everything, but the idea of how she’d react and the possibility that she’d turn away in disgust and walk away forever was too much to bear. My chest heaved out a ragged breath as I stared Sebastian down, mentally willing him just to drop dead.
But that was no use.
“Thank ya for doing that. But this ain’t your place.” I warned as I pushed past him.
Mason stirred softly as I scooped her up, cradling her face into my chest. She looked so peaceful in her sleep. Somehow, thatfueledmy desire to keep her safe, to protect her from anyone who might harm her—especially if that person was Dale… or Sebastian.
When I turned to head to my room, Sebastian was standing.
“Where do you think you’re going?” He challenged.
“To bed withmybaby mama.” That was the one title I had that he couldn’t duplicate. Thank god, because I had a feeling a creep like Sebastian would be a nightmare to make a baby with.
As I went to leave, Sebastian grabbed me by the arm.
“Who says I trust you with her?”
“Oh, I know you don’t.” I snorted. “I just don’t care what you think.”
Sebastian’s face remained blank, but his grip tightened almost to the point of pain. I refused to let him see my discomfort as I held his gaze.
But this wasn’t a battle of wills that he’d win.
“If you’re so worried, why don’t you join us?” I joked. “You’ve been telling anyone who’ll listen that you have a crush on me.”
Sebastian’s first reaction was outright disgust. But, after a moment, I could see the gears in his head turning.
“Fine.” He sighed.
My heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t seriously accept my offer. “... Really?”
He nodded dejectedly. “I just need to grab a few things from my room, and I’ll be down.”
As I settled in with Mason, Sebastian was nowhere in sight. I had a feeling that he lost his nerve when it came to joining us. And I was glad. It wasn’t wise to sleep with a snake in the bed.
I took solace in the moment of peace between me and Mason. I held her close enough for her breath to warm my chest. Now and then, I’d feel Rosie wiggle. I wasn’t sure if it was normal for babies to be as active as our little girl. But I was glad Rosie was so hyper; somehow, seeing her move made me feel better about this whole thing.
I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what holding my baby would be like. When Luce moved in with Jas and Juni, they were six months old, well–four months adjusted. They came early, which I guessed was normal for twins. Nonetheless, they were still well past the newborn stage. Both of them could roll over, hold their heads up, and look around just to smile at me. Plus, they were chunky little things.
The sleeper Mason showed me earlier was so tiny that I could lay it across my arm without issue. I had helped my ma and pa with babies plenty of times before Daleadoptedme. That’s just what the eldest child did in a family as big as the one I came from. But I genuinely couldn’t remember what holding a newbornfeltlike.
Mason stretched in her sleep before wrapping her arms around me.
“Mae, you awake?”
A moment of silence fell between us like she was debating that herself. But after a moment, she stirred and groaned.
“Nooooo.” Her sleepy mumble was barely audible.
Her response made me chuckle. “Well then, you better get comfortable.”
I assumed that rolling over while pregnant was an arduous task by how it took Mason three attempts to face away from me fully. But once she did, she wiggled toward me, pressing her back to my chest.
“Serre moi fort.”Hold me tight.Her command was so sleepy her words slurred slightly. But I was happy to oblige.
I pulled her in as close as I could, and she let out a contented sigh. For a moment, I wondered if this was just her wanting my affection or if this was something with her alleged autism. My head sunk into my pillow as I stared at the ceiling. If she was actually autistic, why wouldn’t she tell me?
It wasn’t something to be ashamed of… but the second I started thinking about that, I thought about my conversation with Soph. Would I have even believed Mason if she told me sooner? Hell, I wasn’t sure I entirely believed it now.