Page 137 of Please Save Me

…Was Cameron genuinely being kind to me?

“What happened toSebastian I can’t do this.” I did my best to mock his drawl, but I had a feeling I failed miserably.

He shrugged as his lips pressed into a thin line. “I said that because I wantedmorewith you, but I respect you enough to not push. If all you want is sex, that’s on you. But,you’re morethan your body.”

Maybethiswas why Mason adored Cameron. He was kind. Not in the way that felt forced either. Despite everything that ever happened to him, he remained genuine and altruistic.

And… part of me wanted to know him better too. But, I couldn’t just let myself do that.

“Say, in theory, I’d like to explore the possibility of more with you, what would it look like?” My gaze suddenly felt too heavy to lift and my face was an inferno.

“It’d look like whatever you wanted it to.” His hand appeared on my shoulder. “We can take it slow, and I won’t touch you until I have permission, or anything else you’d like.”

A lump formed in my throat as I struggled with the sincerity in his voice. Cameron Cole was a man with a fake name, which meant I had no business trusting him. But, could I trust this? Could I learn to trust him?

“Can we hold hands?” I whispered, almost regretting the words the second they fell from my lips.

My request was juvenile and not at all one I should have even considered. But, if my relationship with Mason had taught me nothing else, it showed me how much I craved the smallest forms of connection.

He gave me a squeeze on the shoulder before trailing his hand down to meet mine. He twined our fingers together and I felt like I was going to vomit–in a good way though.

“Like this?” His voice was reassuring, and all I could do was nod.

He raised my hand, and his breath warmed my fingers. For a second I assumed he’d brush a kiss to my knuckles, and I’d probably have a heart-attack right there, but he refrained from doing so.Unfortunately.

“Now, like I said, everything is under your control. But… I’dreallylike it if you could help out with Mason tonight,” he continued.

If he had asked that any sooner, my answer would have been a resounding no. But, right now, all I wanted to know was what exactly we’d be doing tonight.

Chapter 42

Mason

“Get off your back, it’s bad for the baby.” Lucian planted a palm on either side of my face, wrapping his hands around the arm of the couch.

My lips parted as I slipped my purple leather bookmark between the pages before closing my book and looking toward my husband. The ceiling light caused him to cast a shadow on me as his long, curly hair hid us from the world.

“Are you going to punish me if I don’t?” My whisper was a hopeful one.

Lucian closed his eyes and exhaled deep, his cinnamon scented breath cascaded over my face. “I can’t.”

My brow furrowed. “Why?”

I was tired of the fifteen minutes of missionary with Sebastian. After Rosie was born, I wasn’t allowed to have sex for afullsix weeks, and that was almost worse than death. It wasn’t a crime that I wanted a few last minutes of fun, but everyone had been avoiding me like the plague.

“I’m sick,” he reminded me. “I’ve had a fever and shit.”

“You’re literally breathing on me!” I whined. “If I’m going to get sick, it’s going to happen.”

“Kitten.” His tone rested half way between a warning and a hum. “Isn’t it enough that I love you unconditionally? I’m good at more than sex, you know.”

If anyone else in the house had said that, I might have taken it seriously. But, more often than not, Lucian was the one who woke me up with head. He’d interrupt my showers just to fuck me in them. I’d get up in the middle of the night for a snack, and he’d bend me over the kitchen counter and take me for his own. He couldn’t keep his hands off me and that’s the way life should have been. I spent long enough with my ex-fiance to learn the ins and outs of bad sex, and I now deserved the good stuff morning, noon, and night.

But, the second Lucian screamed at me, all that stopped. Come to think of it, he and I hadn’t even been alone for more than ten minutes since then. Something in mysoultold me I was running out of time in this life, and I had come to terms with it. Sure, I wanted longer, but if my time was coming, I had no choice but to accept it, even if no one else would. To prevent the house from freaking out like Sebastian did, I kept those feelings to myself. Still, holding my emotions in didn’t stop me from wanting to make the most of however long I had left.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

My question caused his forehead to crease.

---