Page 135 of Please Save Me

“Don’t you got a meeting?” Cameron asked.

She waved him off as everyday Sophia finally broke through her corporate facade. “It can wait a little. This is important.”

Maybe it was for the best that I didn’t fully understand women.

“Well, her fantasy started with someone.” Cameron’s shoulders squared as he closed his eyes, it was like he was unable to look at me specifically during this. “Touchin’ her with a toy while she reads her book.”

“Go onnnn….” Sophia sounded enthralled with that idea, and I neglected to see why Cameron needed multiple people just to do that.

Was he not smart enough to work a vibrator?

“From there she said somethings that would make a prostitute blush.” Cameron’s laugh came too easy considering it followed a statement that wasn’t funny. “What it boils down to is she wants multiple people, she wants it rough, messy, and almost completely against her will.”

Why would she want something like that?

My mind instantly filled with memories of my previous relationship with Alex. I’d feverishly refused to touch him while claiming I was saving myself for marriage, and he’d tell me that relationships need intimacy to exist. And, though I didn’t want to give up my virginity to anyone other than Mason, at the time she wasn’t an option, and Ididlike Alex.

So, he’d coax me into jerking him off and occasionally blowing him, but afterwards I’d always feelweirdly dirtyin a way I could never get clean. Even if my words told him I consented, mentally I never did.

And I couldn’t fathom why Mason would ever want to feel that way. But, it seemed like I was the only one existing in that train of thought.

“That sounds fun,” Sophia chirped before standing up. “You two go get the stuff, fill me in on the plan when you get back, and I’m down for whatever.”

She kissed Cameron and waved at me before heading up the stairs, and I did my best to hide my discomfort. I loved fucking Mason, and I was interested in sex with Sophia. Hell, I even enjoyed my time with Cameron. There was no reason for me to sayno, but I couldn’t shake the strange, and dare I say icky, feeling sticking to me like a second skin.

Cameron watched her walk up the steps before turning his full attention to me. He extended a finger toward the empty spot beside me.

“Ya mind if I sit with you?”

I gestured for him to go ahead despite the fact his presence felt more than a little unwelcomed. He gave me a thin smile as he filled the space beside me. His brobdingnagian figure sunk onto the couch, forcing the cushions to dip under his weight. The action drew me ever so slightly closer to him, and I felt a little claustrophobic.

“So, Cameron Cole. To what do I owe the pleasure? Are you going to try to prod into my deeper thoughts and force me to open myself up to you?” I hid my anxiety under a bravado of annoyance.

“Nah, if you don’t like me like that, I respect your decision.” He waved me off. “But, whether you meant to or not, you’ve already opened up to–”

“No, I haven’t,” I interjected.

God, the audacity of this man.

“Ya have.” There was a quiet confidence in his statement. “You talked about your ex a bit. Something about unwillingly having sex… That wasn’t your idea, was it?.”

My heart clenched and I cursed my loose lips. That most certainly wasn’t anything Cameron needed to know, and I was an idiot for telling him that. But, now that the air was already filthy with his accusation, it felt like I had nowhere to hide from a truth I’d never spoken to anyone.

“No, it wasn’t. But I agreed to it, and Alex and I were in a relationship, which makes it fine.” I kept my tone controlled and measured so I could appear angry instead of ashamed.

Slowly, he put his hand on my knee. Cameron always had a kind quality to his face, like he would always be understanding and nonjudgmental. Maybe that’s why I felt comfortable enough to share secrets like that with him.

Perhaps he was sufficient to lead a cult. His charisma seemed to more than make up for his cloyingly obvious lack of intelligence.

“Consent ain’t consent if it’s forced. And if it was, youneverdeserved to be treated like that.” His words caused my world to stop spinning.

“Who the hell are you to talk to me like that?” I snapped before practically leaping to my feet. “I literally bedazzled my penis to stop him from touching me, you haveno ideawhat I’ve beenthrough.”

He stayed seated with compassion oozing from his eyes like some foreign disease. His lack of reaction infuriated me more. I needed a fight, or even a reason to yell at him and blow off some of this steam.

“That’s why I’m giving youallthe control. Whether or not you want to go further in whatever we are is inyourhands, but even if we go back to housemates who occasionally insult each other,Icareabout you, Sebastain.”

The anger boiling under the surface cooled just at Cameron’s statement. Why did he have to have this power over me? He didn’t actually care about me. No one other than Mason did.

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