Page 62 of Undone

Josh’s favorite T-shirt that had becomemyfavorite T-shirt. It was heather gray and had been through the wash so many times that it was practically transparent, which meant it was the most comfortable thing I’d ever put on my body. And the fact that it smelled like Josh made it that much more appealing as pajamas.

I stared at it like it was something illicit or illegal tucked in between my pants and unmentionables. Could I?ShouldI?

I reached for it gingerly, as if the garment could shock me like the fence around the back fields at Lost Valley Ranch. Was it possible that the thing felt softer than I’d remembered? I slipped it over my head and felt the tears come as I caught a whiff of Josh’s scent.

What were we doing? Being apart felt so wrong after howrightreuniting had felt. I climbed into bed, barely noticing the crisp white sheets. I pulled the covers over my head like I didn’t want anyone to know that I was full-on crying now.

I couldn’t deny it. The city was rough, and I missed the quiet beauty of home. I’d done my best to escape it but here I was, wearing a stolen T-shirt and missing the hell out of Poplar Springs, Lost Valley, and... I pulled the neckline up to my nose and breathed in deeply.

Josh. I missed Josh.

But no. He’d made his choice and it wasn’t me. And I had dreams that were coming true. The program, the move…this was where I needed to be.

So why did it feel like I didn’t belong all over again? And why did it hurt so much more, this time?

THIRTY-EIGHT

JOSH

Istopped in my tracks when I realized who was sitting on the porch. I was still up in my head from the trail ride and wrestling with my thoughts, so I barely noticed the petite figure in the shadows.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, afraid of the answer.

Fiona crossed her arms and lifted her chin defiantly. “Is that any way to greet your long-lost sister?”

I hadn’t seen her in months, and she looked shiny and polished in a citified sort of way. I smirked. “Sorry, really happy to see you, Fi, but I’m not sure if I’m ready for whatever you’re delivering.”

Shannon came barreling out of the screen door. “Consider this an intervention. I had to call in the reinforcements.” She hooked her finger toward Fiona.

“Okay, but forwhat?”

“Sit,” Fiona said, ordering me into a rocker that was already positioned facing two others.

I heaved a sigh and climbed the stairs to the porch where Fiona was waiting with her arms outstretched.

“Gimme a hug before I kick your ass,” she demanded.

I finally smiled at my sister and swept her into a crushing hug. “Must be a big deal if it got you back to the ranch.”

“Yup,” she said, plopping into a chair. “Shannon filled me in on everything that went down with Zoe.”

I shrugged. “It is what it is.”

“Ugh.” Fiona rolled her eyes. “Ihatethat expression. It makes it seem like life is totally out of your control.”

“Isn’t it?” I asked.

“Sometimes, sure,” Shannon said thoughtfully, settling into one of the rockers. “Like a rainstorm that washes away new seeds. Or a thrown horseshoe. You have no control over that. But relationship stuff? You need to take ownership of your part in it.”

“How can I take ownership over our relationship when Zoe was the one who wanted out? It was her choice.” I wanted to shout, but I managed to hold it back—barely.

“Whoa, bud, easy,” Shannon said softly, like she was gentling a horse. “Guess I touched a nerve.”

“Clearly it still hurts,” Fiona said, watching me carefully. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t have reacted that way.”

“For fuck’s sake,” I grumbled. “This is pointless. I don’t want to be psychoanalyzed by you two.” I started to stand up.

“Don’t. You. Dare,” Shannon said. “Fi didn’t drive all the way out here from Denver to have you walk away.”

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