Page 63 of Undone

“Yeah, let’s at least have a civil conversation,” Fiona added. “There’s a lot to say. Shannon and I have been meaning to sit down with you to discuss a few things for a while now, and there’s no better time than the present.”

“Fine,” I huffed and threw myself back into the chair.

“Okay, let me make sure I understand what happened. Shannon said you two broke up because Zoe feels like you put the ranch before everything else, is that it?” Fiona asked.

I nodded wordlessly.

Fiona tipped her head, taking a few seconds to process. “Okay, I think she’s right.” I started to grumble, but Fiona threw up her hand to silence me. “Josh, we both know how much you stepped up when Mom and Dad died so suddenly. We were all mourning, and suddenly you had to shift from big brother to pseudo dad, primary breadwinner,andranch owner. I know we don’t say this enough—if we’ve said this at all— but Shannon and I are incredibly appreciative of everything you’ve done to keep this family together. But…” She paused and looked at Shannon who nodded as if they were having a silent conversation. “I’m saying this from my entire heart: you don’thaveto put the ranch first, especially if it means the end of a relationship. Arealrelationship.”

I swallowed hard, trying to get the growing lump in my throat to go away as I felt my eyes getting misty. “Why do you care if Zoe and I are together? Only a few weeks ago, you told me not to get involved with her.”

“You’re right, I did, but that was before I realized that Zoe was the one who fought to save the relationship this time.You’rethe one who walked away.”

I sighed and closed my eyes not wanting to look either of my sisters in the eye. “Again, if she can’t accept the sheer amount of responsibilitiesI have here and isn’t comfortable taking a back seat now and then when there’s an emergency, then it’s not going to work out. Simple as that. My number one priority has to be this ranch. It was better to cut things off now before we got even deeper.”

“But what if the ranch doesn’t have to be solely your responsibility?” Shannon said, her voice still calm and quiet. “My horse breeding share of the business is more stable now, and I’m getting more interest thanks to the new website, which means I can get away to pitch in with the general ranch work. I’ll have plenty of time to pick up some slack for you.”

I considered it. I’d noticed Shannon helping out more frequently lately, but I thought it was just due to a lull. I’d never considered that I could lean on her.

“And remember when I called to ask you about that car?”

I frowned. “Oh, you mean the dozen texts and voicemail messages that about gave me a heart attack when I got them all at once? Yeah, sure I remember it.”

Fiona swatted me. “Stop, I was excited. Anyway, I was looking into getting a new car because I got a huge bonus at work and I was feeling fancy. But the truth is I don’t need a new car; my current one isn’t even five years old yet. What I want to do instead is put my bonus toward the ranch. Shannon told me we’ve got some improvements and repairs to tackle, and I want to use it for that.”

I was speechless. I stared at my sister in open mouthed shock.

“Say thank you, Joshua,” Shannon said.

“But…you don’t have to…”

“Wedo,” Fiona insisted. “It’s not fair that you’ve felt like you had to prop this place up on your own for all of these years. It’s about time we step up and contribute. More than that, it’s time that you let us,instead of holding on to the idea that you have to do everything yourself.” Her expression softened. “Because the truth is, you can’t. No one can. But your persistence in trying has both of us worried about you.”

“Josh, the ranch has always been a family business,” Shannon continued. “Emphasis onfamily. If it gets in the way of you having a real, loving relationship, well, then it’s not serving its true purpose.” She paused. “I know Mom and Dad would never want it to be a roadblock to your happiness, and I think you know that too.”

“We’ve both been worried about you,” Fiona said, reaching out to put her hand on top of mine. “Losing them hit all of us hard, but you…well, you chose to cope with the loss by throwing yourself completely into keeping this sinking ship afloat—which, as I’ve already said, we appreciated. But the way you’re running yourself ragged insisting on being on top of everything without taking a break? That’s not healthy, big brother, and surely you can see that.”

I usually did a phenomenal job keeping everything bottled up inside of me, but certain people, like my sisters and Zoe, could see past my forced bravado. I didn’t like feeling all of the feelings, but now the three most important women in my life had all called me on my bullshit.

“We just want you to be happy, Josh,” Shannon said. “It’s been too long since I’ve seen your real smile. Having Zoe around was the first time in ages I’d seen you laughing. And now look at you. It’s like you’ve aged ten years since she left.”

I scoffed. “Hey thanks, you really know how to make me feel better.”

“Sorry, but it’s the truth!” she answered, laughing. “You’re miserable without her.”

“I thought I was doing a good job hiding it,” I said, shifting in the rocker.

“We know you, Josh. We’re family,” Shannon said, her voice cracking with emotion.

We all fell silent again, and Shannon sniffled a few times.

Fiona clapped her hands to refocus us. “Enough of the emotional stuff—let’s get down to business. Now that you know you’ve got us on your side and the ranch isn’t just up to you from here on out, what do you want to do? Don’t overthink it; what’s the first thing that comes to mind?”

“Get Zoe back,” I blurted out.

My answer shocked me but then again it didn’t. Ever since I returned from the trail ride and admitted to myself the way I really felt about her, I knew that deep down it was all I wanted. But it didn’t seem possible, what with the punishing pace of life on the ranch. Puttinganyonebefore the needs of Lost Valley never felt like an option, but now that I could see I had a support team who cared about the future as much as I did?

It changed everything.

---