Page 59 of Undone

I looked down at myself. My boots were tossed on the floor next to the bed, but I was still wearing the same clothes I’d had on yesterday.

“You’re really heavy, you know that?” a voice said from the doorway. I looked up to see Shannon standing. Surprisingly, she wasn’t looking pissed off that she’d had to take care of her big brother. In fact, she looked concerned.

“You got me upstairs?” My voice came out croaky and I reached for the bottle of water I normally kept by the bed. Except it was empty and not because I drank it. No, the lid was off and it looked as if I’dknocked it over in a drunken attempt to drink some of it last night. I huffed out a sigh.

“I did. It wasn’t easy. You weren’t exactly cooperative. How’s your head?”

“Hurts.” Along with the rest of me.

“Well, take a cold shower and wake your ass up because you missed your riding classes this morning.”Fuck!“Then get downstairs and load up on Tylenol and coffee because it’s not Eli’s job to handle the trail rides and your classes too.”Double fuck.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Oh, I know I am.” Shannon’s sarcasm didn’t match her look of concern and I didn’t want to think about either right now.

I managed to get to my feet, stagger to the bathroom and turn on the shower. Instead of waiting for it to warm up, I stepped into the tub fully dressed and stood under the cold water as it pounded my head and torso until I started shivering. Only then did I turn up the temp and peel off my soaking wet clothes.

I needed to get my head on straight. There was a lot of work to do today and I owed Eli an apology for not being there this morning. He needed a boss who was reliable and willing to put in the work. At the moment, I wasn’t feeling like either.

Once I was clean and dressed, I headed to the kitchen where I beelined straight for the coffee pot. I poured myself a cuppa from the dregs that were in the bottom and took a big sip before gagging. The coffee had been sitting on the burner too long and it tasted like rocket fuel. But I didn’t dump it in the sink. I deserved to have shitty coffee too, I thought as I added some sugar to cut the bad taste. It didn’t help.

I was in the middle of giving myself another silent peptalk when Eli walked into the kitchen looking relieved to see me. “Yo, bossman,glad to see you up and around,” he said reaching for a coffee cup. Before I could point out we needed to make more, he grabbed a metal carafe that had been sitting on the counter and poured himself a steaming cup.

When had we started using that? And how had I not noticed? I had to get my head back in the game. The ranch deserved me at my best, and that wasn’t what it was getting.

Zoe or no Zoe, it was time to get back to work. I didn’t have the luxury of running away to a hotel to avoid my problems and… I stopped, feeling like an asshole for thinking that. Zoe had her reasons for leaving early and I needed to respect that. It was the very least she deserved.

“Yep. Appreciate the assistance this morning. How’d the class go? Was Andy interested in trying any more stunts on horseback?”

Eli grinned. “No, thankfully he came to class with a healthier appreciation of horses and the fact that his bones can easily break.”

“Good, good. Okay, catch me up on the other students while I get ready for the afternoon class.”

Zoe might be gone, but Lost Valley Ranch was still here, and I intended to do my damnedest to make sure that was true for decades to come.

THIRTY-SIX

JOSH

Ihadn’t intended to end up at the same trailhead where I’d taken Zoe for her ride, but here I was. Despite doing everything in my power to keep from thinking about her, she managed to creep into my thoughts more often than I could handle. In my dreams, of course, but also whenever a new reservation pinged through on my phone, thanks to an upgrade she’d set up for the website. Or when I had to interact with Sugar, the horse she’d ridden that day, and all the other horses she’d interacted with to help work through her fears. Then there were the times when I was up late because I couldn’t sleep, alone in the sitting room, wishing she’d pad in and plop down on the couch beside me. I knew it wasn’t going to happen, of course. Even before she’d flown out east to look at apartments, she’d been avoiding me for days. But I didn’t need to see her for her to fill my thoughts. Zoe was a ghost haunting every corner of my life.

Especially work. Thanks to Zoe and happy customers spreading the word on social media, the trail riding program had taken off beyond my wildest dreams, with reservations stacked up three months in advance. The grocery store chain had locked in quarterlyteambuilding rides, and the bachelorette party that had been our maiden ride had talked us up on a wedding site, leading to dozens of grooms and brides signing up for rides. Even Bridger had come through and organized a group ride for his bank staff. And then there were the families flocking to the ranch. Someone posted pictures and mentioned us on at least two parenting websites suggesting Lost Valley trail rides as a fun activity for all ages.

It was more than I could’ve hoped for, and for the first time in forever, it felt like the massive weight I’d been carrying since that fateful night my parents’ private plane crashed outside Denver had been lifted.

So why wasn’t I happier?

I looked at the trail in front of me, the simple one I’d ridden with Zoe, and then glanced to my left to the one I’d intended to navigate today as an option for more advanced rides. Logic made it plain that the smart choice was the new trail, so I could test it out and get a feel for whether it would work out for future guests and for what age/experience groups. But my heart didn’t want to choose logic and practicality today. It was as if Indigo could sense the battle brewing inside of his rider, and when the horse took a few steps toward the easy trail, I considered it a sign.

“Okay, you got it, my friend,” I said softly, encouraging Indigo to follow his instincts. “Off we go.”

I tried not to replay the ride with Zoe, but everywhere I looked there were reminders of it. The fallen branch she’d navigated Sugar over with wide eyes, the cornflowers she commented on, and then the spot where Sugar stumbled and brought the ride to a screeching halt.

What came next…I shook my head and let out a long sigh as I remembered how it felt to have Zoe pressed up against me for the ride back down.

“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all,” I said to Indigo.

The horse tossed his head and nickered in response, as if to ask me what I’d expected. Which…fair. WhathadI expected?

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