Page 57 of Undone

“I don’t think this is going to work after all.”

Josh jumped up and began to pace. “Again, Zoe? We’re doing this again? You’re running off and leaving me in the dust?”

I closed my eyes and counted to five, and then did it again. I wanted to shout at him, but that wouldn’t do any good. “I wanted to try, but the fact is that you’re not capable of a real commitment outside of this ranch.”

“Did you ever think that maybe you’re asking for too much?”

My jaw dropped and I felt my heart break. “Wanting you to be there for me and keep your promises to me is ‘too much’?” My voice cracked and I stopped abruptly. I needed to stay strong.

“Zo…” Josh finally moved into the chair beside me. “You have to know how much I care for you. And that I don’t want this to be over.”

I looked into his eyes and saw my pain mirrored back. “I care for you, too, Josh, so very much. But I don’t want to be second place. Iwon’tbe second place.”

We stared at one another as we realized the promise of what we’d been building together was coming to an end that neither one wanted.

“Josh, I can’t take falling deeper for you with the inevitability of all the times when you’ll say you can’t be there for me. That the land beneath your boots matters more than my heart.”

He dropped his head, making a noise that sounded like he’d just taken a punch to the gut.

“Our priorities are not the same,” I continued. “It doesn’t matter how much we care for one another.”

He looked up at me, eyes blazing. “You sure about that?”

My heart constricted at his intensity. Josh was fighting for me, and I felt a wave of tenderness wash over me. I reached out to cup his cheek, against my better instincts, and he closed his eyes the second my cool touch landed on his skin.

I desperately wanted to kiss him. Maybe then he’d realize how much I meant to him. That a relationship was worth just as much as a few hundred acres. I moved closer and Josh’s eyes opened. He wrapped his strong hand around my wrist like he was afraid I’d float away.

A howl sounded off, close enough to where we were sitting on the porch that it sent a primal chill down my spine. Josh backed away from me abruptly and jumped out of his chair.

“Damn it. Wolves. Haven’t had them around here in a while.” He paced the length of the porch with his eyes scanning the shadows. “That’s not good. Not good at all.”

Despite the prickling tension of having a predator on the property, my shoulders slumped in defeat as I felt my lover slip away and the rancher step forward—like always.

“I need to set up the trail cameras to start tracking them,” Josh said, snapping into rancher mode. “Johnny Becker said he’d spotted them at his place, too. Can’t have them overrunning us. We lost a horse to them back in ’92. Way before my time, but my dad always talked about it. Warned me not to welcome those things back.”

And there it was. The symbolism of wolves at the gate wasn’t lost on me.

“Okay, Josh. Go deal with it.”

He nodded, concern creasing his brow.

Too bad I couldn’t tell if it was due to the predators hiding in the dark, or what we’d just decided about our future.

THIRTY-FIVE

JOSH

To say that I hated wolves didn’t feel like an exaggeration. I really did want to support the state’s efforts to reintroduce gray wolves back into Colorado, but I balked at the amount of damage they could do to herds if left unchecked and with the foals, Shannon would be devastated if any of them were attacked.

And we’d found footprints around the perimeter just this morning. An electric fence was useless when the predator was capable of jumping over it. The hands and I spent the better part of the day making sure everything was as secure as it could be and we’d installed motion-sensor floodlights around the barns in case any wolves did make it onto the property.

I’d heard through the grapevine that the Mitchleys had some late-night visitors. They’d managed to break into their chicken coop and left it looking like a crime scene. We hadn’t kept chickens in years—even though my sisters had been bugging me to get some—and I was glad that was the case. If we ever did go back to having some around, we’d need to completely rebuild the coop to not only protect the birdsfrom the elements, but to keep them safe from animals looking for an easy meal.

It was already evening and I was finally headed back to the house. I’d skipped lunch and my stomach hurt with hunger pangs, leaving me feeling cranky. Zoe had been giving me the silent treatment for the last two days. I couldn’t really blame her, but at the same time, it felt childish. I’d hoped to speak with her, wanting us to clear the air a bit before she left for school. But first, I needed to eat something.

When I walked into the kitchen, I was surprised to see that Zoe’s laptop and camera bag were gone. The kitchen table was empty. “What the—?” Was she already packing? She wasn’t due to leave yet. Shannon came down the stairs. “Hey, where’s Zoe?”

My sister tugged at her hair pulling it loose before twisting it back up into a bun and I instantly knew she was about to tell me something I wouldn’t want to hear. Before she could say anything, I ran back out the door to where we kept our cars.

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