Page 16 of Undone

I finally lifted my head to meet her eyes, and she immediately moved closer to me, as if I’d already spoken my fears out loud. “Nothing, thank God. It was just typical Fiona. She’s buying a car and wanted my opinion. She’s so damn impatient.”

“Then why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“I said it’s nothing,” I lied, looking back down at my boots. “I’m fine.”

Zoe furrowed her brow at me, and the look made it clear that she wanted me to go deeper. She’d never been the kind of person to let me slide when it came to talking about how I felt.

I cleared my throat and crossed both arms over my chest. “That, uh, that scenario with all of the calls and texts just now reminded me of what happened with my parents. It was almost exactly like that. I was unreachable for a while and when I finally got my messages, I found out what had happened. So now I’m gun-shy when I get a bunch of notifications in a row.”

“Oh Josh, I’m so sorry…” She trailed off and placed her hand on my forearm. The feeling of her soft hand on my skin gave me a little comfort.

“Yeah.” I straightened up and shrugged. “Maybe I’m not as okay about everything as I act. I tend to jump to the worst-case scenario, you know? I can usually power through stuff like that, but for whatever reason, it really hit me this time.”

“Hey, youshouldn’tpower through it,” Zoe said in a soft voice. “Burying those feelings might be okay for now, but it won’t help you in the long run. That stuff can really take root and mess with your head. I should know. I got thrown by Jude, and now I have a bona fide fear of horses.”

I frowned at her and started to say something, but she shook her head to stop me.

“No, this isn’t about me right now; we can talk about my stuff another time. Your parents’ accident was only a few years ago, and it’s no surprise that it still holds a tender place in your heart. You shouldn’t have to tough it out, Josh.”

“Yeah, but I’m the head of the family now,” I replied in a rush. “Shannon and Fiona depend on me. Hell, the wholeplacedepends on me. I have no choice but to tough it out and not complain.”

The weight of my responsibilities pressed down on me, causing my shoulders to tense under the stress of it all.

“Josh…I’m so sorry. You’re handling so much.” Zoe paused and seemed to consider her next words carefully. “What you’re dealing with is personal, so you don’t have to talk to me about how you’re feeling if you’d rather not. But I think you should talk tosomeone. It’s not healthy to carry around that kind of stress, you know? It’ll eat away at you. Literally, it’s bad for your immune system. You’ll wind up sick.”

I nodded wordlessly.

“I’m serious,” she said, stepping closer so I had no choice but to look at her. “Will you think about maybe talking to someone?”

“I’ll think about it,” I replied, trying not to get frustrated with her pushiness.

Zoe had always been quick to give her opinion when we were younger, whether the person on the receiving end wanted it or not. It had led to more than a few uncomfortable conversations, but I’d always appreciated her forthrightness. It was a part of what made Zoe, Zoe, and even if it was too much for most people, it was a personality trait I’d grown to appreciate. And her lack of filter had saved me from the uncomfortable conversation about why I’d kissed her, and what it meant.

Because I wasn’t sure myself.

What I did know was that I very much wanted to do it again.

TWELVE

JOSH

I’d stayed out in the barn long past when I needed to, hoping not to have any more conversations with Zoe about my mindset. It’s not that it was a bad idea, but I didn’t have it in me to talk about my feelings with much of anyone. Even sharing with my sisters was incredibly hard. I gave both Indigo and Sugar their rubdowns and left them both with their tasty feed and some apple halves. Sugar looked like she was in horse heaven as she chomped down on the sweet treat.

Having run out of chores to do, I headed for the house. As I walked in, the smell of Shannon’s chili and cornbread hit me and my stomach growled in response. I’d missed lunch—which I knew not to do—because I had been hiding from my feelingsandZoe. But the spicy scent of chili powder and cumin was too much. I quickened my pace and took the steps to the porch two at a time.

Walking into the kitchen, I was surprised to only see Shannon. “Hey,” she said, waving a ladle at me. “We just ate. Since you’re here, help yourself and put the leftovers away when you’re done.” She didn’t wait for a reply before heading upstairs.

I grabbed a large bowl and scooped out a generous portion, loading on some of the toppings Shannon had left out—chopped onions, cheese, and guacamole, I added a large square of cornbread to the edge of my bowl and headed to my office to do some work but I never made it there. Instead, I ended up in the sitting room and turned on the television. On a whim, I searched for and found Mortal Kombat and queued it up to watch.

A part of me hoped that Zoe might come down again to watch with me. The other part was worried that she might, as I still wasn’t prepared to talk about that kiss. But it didn’t stop me from replaying that moment over and over. By the time the movie was over, my bowl was empty, and there were no visits from Zoe.

It was only then that I remembered Shannon had told me to put everything away, but when I got to the kitchen, it had already been done for me. The leftovers had been put away and the pot had been scrubbed clean. If it had been Shannon who found the chili still out, I was certain she would have tracked me down to yell at me rather than cleaning up for me without a word. So that left Zoe. If that was the case, why didn’t she say hi?

As I mounted the steps to go to bed, I worried that I’d gone too far with that kiss and Zoe was now avoiding me.

Why were Zoe’s hands down my pants? And when had she become soaggressive? Not that I was complaining. I loved the way she was making me feel. But we’d just jumped from reacquainting ourselves to lovers in a heartbeat.

I groaned as Zoe adjusted her grasp on my cock. If we weren’t careful, we were going to get caught. The illicit thrill of hiding out in the barn only heightened the sensations as she stroked my shaft, creatinga tight spiral of arousal that currently gripped the base of my spine. She was making me wild with desire. I pushed against her hand as she changed her rhythm, letting out another low groan as my arousal grew so intense that it bordered on pain. She looked up at me with those eyes, the ones that said she wanted to fuck me right then and there, and I crashed my mouth into hers. The kiss was frantic and messy, like we’d both been waiting too long to act on the feelings we’d kept buried, and depriving ourselves had made us more desperate to taste one another.

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