She nodded. “Yeah, yes,” she agreed, tripping over her words, “tomorrow.” He walked her to the door and bid her goodnight. When the guest house door shut, he closed and latched the kitchen door before slumping against it. He was so screwed.

TEN

“That’s the fifth job you’ve brought to me that’s out of state,” Nancy told her headhunter Ronnie when he laid out yet another useless job opportunity. “If I were to leave Colorado—and I’m not saying I would—I wouldn’t be moving toOklahoma.” She’d contacted a headhunter to feel out other opportunities, and so far, she wasn’t impressed. Ronnie was good at an elevator pitch—he was doing his level-best to make Tulsa sound exciting—but Bex running by her window completely stole her focus. The girl was carrying a small stepladder and looking around like she was afraid to get caught. “Hey, Ronnie, I’ve got to go,” she said into the phone.

“Well, just think about—” She hung up and slid her feet into the nearest pair of shoes so that she could go after her. She ran down the gravel path, wincing as the rocks stabbed her through the thin bottoms of her flats. By the time she caught up her, Bex was on the stepladder beside Gwendolyn, the mare Nancy rode the other day, trying to get her saddled. It wasn’t exactly going well—the horse was big, and the saddle was heavy—but she’d made a surprising amount of progress in a short amount of time.

“Bex, what are you doing?”

The little girl startled and nearly toppled off her ladder, and when she looked at Nancy, her eyes were wide with fear, but also a little sadness. “Nancy,” she said, “please don’t tell Daddy. He’ll be so angry with me.”

“Oh, I am.” Both Nancy and Bex jumped this time: Colin was standing in the doorway of the stables, hands shoved into his pockets. His tone and face were calm, but Nancy could feel the anger radiating off of him. “Rebecca, put that saddle back where you found it, go get washed up, and then go to your room. You can wait there while I sort this out.” Bex’s eyes filled with tears, but Colin seemed unmoved. “Go,” he said. “Now.” Still crying, Bex dropped the saddle on the ground and ran out of the stables and back toward the house.

Nancy felt conflicted. Bex was in the wrong, of course, and Colin couldn’t ignore that, but Nancy couldn’t forget Bex’s sad eyes. All she wanted was to ride a horse. Everyone else on the ranch did—even Nancy. It was no wonder the girl didn’t understand why she couldn’t, too. Nancy wanted to go after her and give her hug, but ultimately, it wasn’t her place to do that. Colin was her dad.

She looked at Colin, who was now leaning against a horse stall, pale and breathing hard. He looked like he was going to throw up.He loves her so much, she thought. She’d known that, of course, but it still sometimes caught her off guard.He used to love you that much too.

It so wasn’t the time for those kinds of thoughts. A few kisses—even if they were the hottest kisses she’d ever had—did not a lasting relationship make.

Nancy reached out and touched his shoulder, and although he didn’t say anything, he reached up and grabbed her hand. They stood there for a long time. Eventually, Colin said in a voice like gravel, “I don’t know where I went wrong. If I’ve told Bex once, I’ve told her a hundred times, she is not allowed around the horses without an adult. And she’sdefinitelynot allowed to try to ride.”

Nancy squeezed his shoulder, and he turned to look at her. “She’s five.”

“Sheknowsthe danger,” he insisted. “But I turn my back for two minutes, and she’s here trying to sneak a ride. What do I do with that?”

Nancy knew that her opinion probably wasn’t what he was looking for, but he looked so sad. “I know you don’t want her to ride, but if she got lessons, she’d be supervised, and I don’t think she’d be as temped to sneak in here.”

Colin froze—literally, his muscles locked beneath her hand. When he turned toward her, his face was stony. “It’s not an option,” he all but growled before he took off toward the main house.

* * *

He was nearly to the house when he heard Nancy’s feet crunching over the gravel. “Nancy, leave it alone,” he said without looking at her. It was all he could do not to scream at her when she suggested the riding lessons. But when her hand grabbed his arm, he couldn’t hold back. He whirled on her. “How could you even suggest that?”

“I just—”

“My mom used to barrel race, Nance. She knew her stuff, and she still fell. Still died.”

Tears sparkled in Nancy’s eyes. It softened his anger a little, but it didn’t outweigh it. “I know. I’m sorry,” she said, a little hoarsely. “I won’t give you any advice again, okay?”

Colin took a breath and nodded. “Okay,” he said. “Thank you.”

Nancy stepped into him and put her arms around him. Until that moment, Colin hadn’t realized that he needed a hug. The warm, vanilla smell of her skin enveloped him, and he breathed deep. They stood there, holding one another, for a handful of moments, and then Nancy slipped away. “I am wondering what you’re going to say to Bex,” she said. “No advice, I promise, but you might want to practice it on a neutral audience first. She looked so upset.”

Colin sighed. “I don’t know,” he said honestly, and Nancy nodded. They walked the rest of the way back to the main house hand-in-hand, and that small touch gave him a focal point. They headed inside, and he stalled. “I don’t want to break her heart,” he said, and they sat at the dining table. “I get why she wants to ride: we live on a ranch, and all of her school friends ride.Iride.” He looked at Nancy, who was doing her level best to say nothing. He appreciated it deeply. “If anything ever happened to her, I’d never forgive myself.” He would never forget his father’s face when they found his mother. Something in his soul died that day, and within a matter of weeks, the rest of him followed suit. Every time Colin thought of Bex getting on a horse, that look came to mind, and his only reaction was to panic. But had that panic made him too harsh, too unyielding? Maybe there was a compromise here somewhere.

“Colin,” Nancy said and pointed. He turned and saw a little face peeking out at them from the hallway. It broke his heart to see his little girl with her eyes all puffy and red from crying.

“Come here, darlin’,” Colin called. “We need to talk.”

Bex came to the table and crawled into Colin’s lap. She didn’t do this as often as she used to, but he loved it whenever she did. Even if she was a crying mess. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” she mumbled into his neck.

Colin patted her back. “I forgive you,” he said, “but we still need to talk this out.”

Bex pouted as she sat up. “But I said I was sorry.”

“You did, and I appreciate that,” Colin said. “But you know that you’re not allowed in the stables by yourself, and you’re definitely not allowed on a horse right now, so there are going to be some consequences for breaking the rules. For starters, you’re going to be helping Jessie with her work every day this week.” Her lip wobbled, and despite his pounding heart, he rushed on, “I do understand how badly you want to ride, darlin’, so I think you need to start being around the horses more.” He needed to see her around them too, so he’d stop getting a feeling of needing to throw up every time she got anywhere near one.

Bex lit up. “Really, Daddy?”