Page 90 of With a Little Luck

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232The moment the question is out, I know this was a bad idea. I feel it in every bone of my body. I sense it in the way everyone is staring at me. Mostly in the way Maya is staring at me.

Not like she’s flattered. Or happy. Or excited.

More like she’s … queasy?

My promposal hangs in the air between us, along with a stifling amount of uncomfortable silence.

I swallow. “For the record, this is me, now. Jude. Not the statue.” I lower my privacy screen so there’s nothing between me and Maya. “Maya—will you go to junior prom with me?”

Maya’s mouth opens, but no sound comes out. For whatever reason, she looks at Noah, then back at me.

“Jude,” she says quietly. “Can I talk to you … somewhere else?”

“Oh, damn,” mutters César. “That’s not good.”

Kyle punches him in the arm.

Russell grumpily takes a handful of trail mix and starts picking out the M&M’s. “Does this mean we didn’t actually break the curse?”

“All of you, zip it,” says Maya, pushing back her chair.

I follow her up the stairs, even though I don’t really understand what the point is. I already know everything I need to know.

Lucy and my dad are watching a true crime documentary in the living room, and Pru is doing homework in the kitchen, so we end up outside. Maya sits down on the front step. Part of me would rather stay standing, because I can run away faster, I guess, but I sit down anyway.

“Jude—” she starts.

“No need to drag this out,” I say quickly. I realize that I’m still holding the resin D20. I pass it idly from palm to palm. “You can just say no.”

Maya bites her lower lip. Her expression looks genuinely pained. “I can’tjust say no. This last month … I have had so much fun with you. Really. I mean, it’s been weird at times, right? Because I always sort of knew you liked me? And I …” She makes a face. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I wasn’t really interested in you before. But it turns out I actually really like hanging out with you. And being here, playing233D&D … I love this, and … I do like you, Jude. A lot.” She hesitates. “I just … don’t know if I …”

“Maya. I get it.”

She grimaces.

“It’s okay,” I add.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” she whispers. “I’m hoping we can be friends. But I also understand if …” She looks down at her hands, fingers making knots in her lap. “If that isn’t going to happen.”

It’s probably the nicest rejection a guy could hope to get. And even though itisa rejection and there’s a stab of disappointment in my gut, I also feel a wave of relief at her words, and a sense that I’ve known all along that we weren’t meant to be together, despite years of pining. Because that’s all it was. Pining. Not a relationship. Not reality. Just an impossible fantasy.

The reality is that beingfriendswith Maya might actually be better.

I fold my fist around the dice and rub my brow, chuckling to myself.

“I’m really sorry, Jude.”

“Don’t be,” I say. “Honestly … if all this hadn’t happened, there’s a good chance I would have been in love with you for the rest of my life.”

I meet her gaze again. She looks so sad. So very, very sorry.

But I don’t want her to feel sorry. Or guilty. Or any of that.

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