Page 54 of Romancing My Grumpy Goalie

I hug him. “I’m so sorry. It just wasn’t working out.”

He pushes back to look at me, determination on his face. “Why not? Maybe you need to talk to him.”

His dad would love that. “I’m sorry, Nolan. I can’t.”

“Fine.” He crosses his arms. “If you won’t talk to him, then I will at my birthday party. He promised last week he’d be there. That way, he’ll have to talk to us both.”

I had no idea Nolan had already invited him. I should have known he would. That does complicate things. Nolan is a determined kid with a big heart.

Lucas seems to be his new favorite person. Because of me, Nolan might be losing another important male figure. Because I’m allowing Jeremy to control the situation. Again. But I don’t know how to stop him.

I’ve never felt so helpless.

EIGHTEEN

LUCAS

When I arriveat Anabelle’s house for Nolan’s birthday party, his gift tucked under my arm, kids are running everywhere, a Darth Vader piñata dangles from a tree, and Anabelle’s dad is manning the grill with an apron that says, “Kiss the Cook,” something he probably grabbed from her kitchen. A flash of my hands buried in her hair and her sweet lips on mine goes through me. Anabelle’s mom and Mrs. Wheaton are sitting in patio chairs, probably gossiping, and Anabelle is in a mouthwatering blue sundress, darting back and forth with trays of food.

She notices me as I come in, and she nods her welcome, but something about her demeanor is closed off, something that squeezes my heart painfully. I ache for her. I’ve dreamed of our kiss too many times to count, tossing and turning in bed, losing more than one night of sleep over the emptiness of my arms. She’s becoming my home. Making Maple Creek feel warmer, more welcoming.

Nolan is standing by the back fence, by himself, kicking a soccer ball around and frowning. But then he looks up and runs toward me, abandoning the ball.

“Lucas!” He wraps his arms around me. “I wasn’t sure you’d show up.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I’d been able to talk Anabelle into letting me show up last night. “Your party is important to me, and so are you.”

“Are you going to be with my mom?” His eyes are so hopeful, and they mirror the hope in my heart I feel every time I look at his mom. Hope that’s usually followed by a tortured emptiness as I realize I can’t have her.

“I care a lot about you and your mom, but it’s complicated and I could mess things up for you. I never expected any of this—not the mentorship, meeting you—or your mom.” My heart aches at my words. But the best way I can show up for Nolan is to give him space.

“You’re not going to mess it up,” Nolan argues. “You’re doing great.”

I shake my head. “I’m afraid it’s not that simple.” But it’s his birthday, and I don’t want to ruin it. I hand him his gift. “I got you something.”

“Shouldn’t I wait to unwrap it with all the others?”

“I think we can break the rules just this once,” I whisper. He could use some immediate cheering up after our heavy conversation.

He grins and rips off the paper. “Stuff for RC cars?”

“It’s a kit to upgrade your crawler some more.”

“Awesome!”

Not that I’ll be around enough to help him upgrade it. A heaviness settles over me because I might have given him a gift he can’t figure out how to use, and I’ll end up following in my dad’s footsteps as a man who disappoints people who count on him.

“Piñata time!” Anabelle calls.

Nolan runs to a group of his friends as they prepare to hit the swinging dark lord.

I want this with him—the backyard party, the chaotic joy, this family that would fit so well with mine. Anabelle in that blue sundress in my arms, laughing with me. The more this dream is pulled from me, the more I crave it. The more I envision it, the more it feels . . . right.

Anabelle ties a scarf around Nolan’s eyes to blindfold him and hands him a broom to swing at the piñata. She looks up and gives me a guarded smile as the crowd cheers around Nolan.

“You got this, Nolan,” I call.

He gets into position and swings at Darth Vader.

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