“Oh thanks. I was wondering where that went.” My heart is racing faster than Valentine, and I ache for this man. “How are things with Amanda?”
“She’s all moved into her new place, but Hayden is having a hard time adjusting to his new school. There was a bully who picked on him the first day there for being a bratty rich kid. Amanda isn’t happy about it. I hope she doesn’t regret her decision to bring him here and take him back.” His face is pale as he talks about it, and I can sense a bit of the worry he’s facing.
“Hey, you know about him now. She can’t just take him away from you anymore.”
His shoulders relax a bit at my words. “That’s true. I’ve called my lawyer, and I’m going to take the paternity test tomorrow. There’s no doubt Hayden is my son, but I need the official papers that prove that he is. Who knows, Amanda might get well and decide to run away with Hayden at any time. She spooks easily, as we all well know.”
“Anything could happen,” I agree. “You’re smart to cover your bases.”
We head into the living room and sit on my white couches. These will probably be trashed one day by my future foster kids, but I don’t even care. I’ll get them professionally cleaned or something.
Langston doesn’t even know how far I’ve gotten in the process. We haven’t talked at all since we broke up.
His gaze collides with mine. “I miss you. Maybe we won’t be together long term, but I still want to spend time with you.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” It’s too hard to be around him and not have him, allow him to put his arms around me, to kiss me. My heart can hardly take being around him now.
“Our families are best friends. You’re not going to be able to cut me out of your life completely. You know that, right?”
I sigh. “I know. But it doesn’t have to mean you’re coming over here and sitting alone with me either.”
“I understand. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” He gets up. “I’ll give you the space you want.” He walks to the door and stops to turn. “Hayden misses you.”
I press my lips together because if I speak, I’m going to fall into his arms and ask him to ignore everything I’ve just said. I want to joke around with him, laugh like we used to or talk smack to each other. But the old Jenni and Langston don’t exist anymore. We’ve been replaced by these two heartbroken people who can barely hold a conversation without feeling some amount of pain. And in this case, it’s a huge amount of pain, on my part anyway. And if the look on Langston’s face is a reflection of the misery he’s feeling, then I’d say he’s pretty bad off himself.
Finally, I gather some words together. “I miss Hayden too. Tell him I said hi and that I’ll see him at the Blue Mountain Derby.”
“I’ll tell him.” Langston doesn’t tease me about winning, and now I wish he would. At this point I’d be happy to let Thunder win if it meant I could fix our situation. And that’s saying a lot.
16
LANGSTON
When Wednesday rolls around, it’s my turn to take Hayden. It’s the first time he’s sleeping at my house, and I have his room all set up, thanks to some help from my personal assistant, Maggie. She’s an older woman, but very tech savvy, which is important for me since I’m a techie myself. She did a bunch of online shopping for me and decorated his room in a palette of blues, which she discovered is his favorite color. She’s a mother and grandmother and knows a lot about what kids like. I’m clueless, so I’m grateful for her help. Mom has been a huge help too, going out with Maggie to buy clothes for Hayden.
I pull up to his school, and he’s in a pretty ratty looking t-shirt and jeans. Didn’t Amanda want to put him in some of the new clothes we bought for him?
He climbs into the car, and he’s using his old beat-up backpack instead of the brand new one Maggie picked out. We’d sent them over to Amanda’s new place, but for whatever reason, she’s not letting him use the items.
“Where’s that new backpack we got you?” I ask.
“Oh, Mom donated it to the thrift store. She said the backpack I have is just fine.”
I clench my fists, but don’t want to make a big deal in front of Hayden, so I say, “Do you want a new backpack?”
He juts out his bottom lip. “Yeah. I really liked that one. It had dinosaurs on it, and the one Mom makes me wear is red and ugly. I hate red.”
Duly noted. Don’t get the kid anything red. Stick to blues. “How about green?”
He shrugs. “Green’s okay.”
I glance in the rear-view mirror, and he’s not buckled up. He’s staring out the window.
“Put on your seatbelt, buddy. The lady behind me looks impatient.” She looks like the typical soccer mom with pickup line road rage, messy bun and all. I only know about this from my mom’s social media feed that’s filled with various moms and grandmas helping to pick up kids.
In the future, I’ll have to get a nanny to pick up Hayden from school. I’ve already started the process of searching for one. I have so many meetings in Atlanta for the company. I don’t take as many trips overseas as my brothers do, so that makes it easier to be there for Hayden. But there will definitely be days where I won’t be around as much as I’d like. But that’s something any single parent has to deal with.
A big redheaded kid passes by my car as I’m pulling out and makes an intimidating face at Hayden.