Page 96 of Resisting the Running Back

What do I do if I’m pregnant? How do I even tell him? Do I just do this on my own? Do I give it up?

I’ll admit that while he was in the shower last night, I set my internet search on fire with my rapid questions.

How soon can I find out if I’m pregnant after a condom breaks?

A week after my missed period. Aweek. A weekafter. I have tomiss a period.

Okay, fine.When am I due if I got knocked up on July thirteenth?

April twentieth.

Great. Four twenty. I’m sure a child born on four twenty won’t be teased mercilessly.

I threw my phone on the nightstand when I heard the shower turn off, and I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep because I didn’t know what else to do.

The scariest part of all of this is that if we did create something out of what we did last night…I’m not certain I want to give that up. It feels like fate that the shop was out of Plan B, like whatever happens is meant to be now.

Maybe I’ve been unsure about whether or not I want kids, but it might be because I’ve never been faced with having to make that decision. I’ve never been engaged. Never really had to worry about having kids even though I’ve had an active sex life. I’ve been safe and protected.

What if this was meant to be? What if Miller and I were destined to come together in this way?

We used a condom. We were being safe, and still…it managed to get through.

If we made a baby, it feels like that baby fought awfully hard to be here.

We’re both quiet as we head to breakfast, and we find everyone else already seated. We’re the last to arrive.

We jump right into the conversation, him with Tanner and me with Grace and Ava as we pretend like we’re not fighting through something strange.

We’re putting on an act for the family.

But we’re also putting on an act with each other, and that is completely new territory for us.

The plan for the day is for the women to have a spa day. I don’t know what the plan is for the men, but I do know they’re participating in some poker tournament tonight at the casino, so basically Miller and I will be away from each other all day.

I think about talking to Cassie about this, but we’ve all seen how loose her lips get with a drink or two in her. I think about confiding in Grace, but we’re surrounded by too many people. I don’t want everyone finding out about our little drama, and truth be told, it’s a little embarrassing that we’re thirty years old and are dealing with an accidental condom break.

Besides, I’m not sure anyone here would really get it. They’re all married. Some of them have kids, and I’m not part of this family—yet. And maybe now I won’t be.

The thought has tears pressing hotly behind my eyes.

Did we just screw everything up?

I hide behind my cup of coffee so nobody sees that I’m on the verge of a breakdown, and I manage to swallow it down by chugging my coffee.

Which reminds me…if Iampregnant, can I even drink coffee? I know literally nothing about being pregnant or having kids or how any of this works.

We sit at the breakfast table chatting with everyone until it’s time to get up and head to our spa appointments, and Cassie booked the works for all of us. We have manicures, pedicures, facials, and massages, and we’re supposed to plan on being here at least three hours today. I booked an extra blowout for my hair and some professional makeup since tonight is formal night at dinner, but things feel so shaky with Miller at the moment.

And now we have to spend the day away from each other while we’re both stuck on this ship since it’s a day at sea.

Cassie is getting a pedicure at the same time as me, and we’re sort of all on a rotation for who’s getting what services when.

“Where are Luca and Lily?” I ask.

“Kids’ Club.”

“Do they like it?”

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