Page 123 of Resisting the Running Back

“I’m here another week,” I remind him. “I can’t just walk out.”

“Coach always says family comes first. You know that. You’re already a starter. He will understand. You know where you stand on this. You’re just too fucking stupid to see it for yourself, so I’m here to tell you. Go fucking get her.”

“She won’t talk to me, man. She doesn’t want to see me,” I protest. “I need to be here.”

“You said she released a book yesterday, right?” he asks, and I nod. “Then isn’t it plausible she was just busy yesterday? Maybe she had an interview and couldn’t pick up. Maybe she was on Instagram Live. Maybe there are a thousand reasons she didn’t answer that have nothing to do with you—the same way you not answering has nothing to do with her.”

I know he’s right. But it’s easier to believe the negative. It’s also easier to live in the what-ifs than to be disappointed with the truth. There’s still a chance she’ll walk away from this. From us.

There’s always that chance.

But what if I’m letting her do that without fighting for her?

This is all I’ve ever wanted.Sheis all I ever wanted. And she’s right within my grasp. All I need to do is reach out and cling to her.

“Did you ever think that maybe she took that test?” he asks quietly. “Maybe she knows the answers you so desperately want to know, and she’s too scared to tell you that over the phone.”

The thought never occurred to me. I figured she’d wait and test when we were home together.

But maybe not.

Maybe she took it. Maybe it was negative.

But maybe it wasn’t.

What if it wasn’t, and she’s had to live in loneliness knowing that for the last few days?

What if it wasn’t, and she thinks I don’t want kids?

I blow out a breath. That last thought stabs me like a knife.

“What if she did and it was positive?” I finally whisper. Tanner is theonlyperson in the entire world I’d feel comfortable having this conversation with. I don’t do vulnerability, but for some reason, with him, I can.

“What if it was?” he repeats.

Is that just what he does now? Repeats my questions back at me?

Well…it’s pretty goddamn effective, that’s for sure.

I never was the guy who was adamant about not wanting kids—at least not until I found out Eddie was my father. That changed a lot for me, but the truth is, Tanner could be right. Maybe I’m not destined to be anything like him despite having his blood in my veins.

I don’t want to be like him. He abandoned us and paid our mother off to ensure we’d never know he fathered the two of us. The only reason we found out was presumably because he no longer wanted to pay her off and decided he’d slip the news to his youngest son, Asher…the one who orchestrated telling the two of us just after he informed Lincoln, Grayson, and Spencer.

What if I’m more like Lincoln, the man who took on a ten-year-old kid as his stepson and has two beautiful children with his loving wife?

Or maybe if I’m more like Grayson, who loves his wife so much that he gave up the game to help her run her bakery.

I could be more like Spencer, who is quietly logical and helps run the books at his wife’s vineyards.

Or maybe I’m more like Asher, who had a baby with his wife, and now he’s about to have another one.

I could even be more like Tanner, who married a woman seven years older than him and is the greatest stepdad in the world to her two children.

Or what if I’m just me…the guy who will do anything for the woman I love?

Anything for the woman I love…and any future we create together.

Anything.

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