Page 114 of Resisting the Running Back

As it turns out, it’s not quite that easy to run away from my problems. They followed me here, and now they just feel like they’re looming in front of me with no easy solutions.

I should call her. We do need to talk…but this isn’t the kind of conversation I want to have when I’m beat after a day at camp.

It’s also not one I want to have with my brother staring at me from the next bed over.

And so I’ll wait for another day.

I send her a goodnight text while Tanner calls Cassie and hope that’s good enough.

CHAPTER 51: Sophie Summers

One Word

Miller:I’m exhausted after a crazy first day. Heading to bed. Will try to call tomorrow.

That’s it.

No “Love you!”

No “Miss you!”

Nothing. Not even a check-in on how I might be doing. He left exactly zero room for conversation, and the thought leaves me feeling hollow and alone.

I’ve never dealt with feeling alone and abandoned by Miller. He’s always been my rock, but we’ve never been in a situation like this before.

I push those feelings aside and try to be the understanding girlfriend back home. But it feels an awful lot like in doing that, I’m simply being nothing more than a doormat.

And I hate that feeling.

I have to push it aside, though, because I’m releasing a book in three days. In four days, I’m appearing at the Harts and Harps Book Nook in Las Vegas, which means I need to get packed up and ready for my short trip. I’m flying in Friday morning,signing in the afternoon, and staying one night before I fly back home on Saturday.

I’m not entirely sure why I booked the trip that way. I could use an extra night or two away. It’s not like I have anything waiting back here for me with Miller gone.

Cassie’s busy with her patients and her kids. Grace is busy with her vineyard. I should be busy writing.

But it’s like when Miller left, so did my muse.

I stare at the blank screen for far too long before I give up. I close the lid to my laptop and head up to bed, and I lie there staring up at the ceiling as I convince myself that tomorrow I’ll be brave enough to go back to the store and pick a test so I can finally learn the answer to the question that has been on my mind for the last two weeks. Is two weeks enough time? Do I need to miss a period?

I have no idea, so I Google it. Apparently I could end up with a false negative…but I could also potentially see a positive.

I’m going to give it a try anyway. I can’t stand not knowing for a second longer.

I toss and turn all night, and I force myself to stay in bed until seven. I get up, throw my hair in a ponytail, and head to the store before breakfast.

I pick the one with the electronic readout so there’s no room for questions. I head home. I tear open the box without reading the directions, and I pee on the stick.

And then I sit there on the toilet staring at the screen as an hourglass blinks at me. I should’ve read the directions. I have no idea how long I need to wait. I don’t even know if I peed on the stick right. Maybe I’m supposed to do something different.

I set the test on top of the box, finish up in the bathroom, and wash my hands. I keep my eyes on that blinking hourglass the entire time.

I sit on the edge of the bathtub, and I’m just about to reach for the box with the instructions when the hourglass stops blinking.

My heart leaps into my throat, and a single word appears on the screen:Pregnant.

I exhale as tears pinch behind my eyes.

I’m not sure what to think. I’m not sure what to feel.

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