Page 104 of Resisting the Running Back

The three tables between the thirty of us fall silent as we all wait for the answer.

“Since my one defensive boy has hung up his cleats,” she says, glancing at Grayson pointedly, “I’ll be cheering for offense.” She shoots him a wink.

“Good answer,” Steve says beside her, and he’s laughing and not really hiding that he’s got a thing for the Nash matriarch. Maybe I just see it because Iknow.

They’re both drinking wine, and I have to admit, even if wehadn’tcaught them red-handed, I might’ve put it together tonight.

I wonder if they’ll say anything. I wonder if anyone else caught them. I wonder whoalmostcaught them that first night.

I know Steve is sharing a stateroom with his mother, so that’s likely why they couldn’t go to his room. As far as I know, Missy has her own room. But the ship’s capacity is only around six thousand. I mean, that’s like an entire half a percent of the passengers on this boat that are related in some way to the Nash family. That has to increase the chances of them getting caught, even if it’s just because someone else’s room is close to hers.

“That’s great news to this offensive coordinator’s ears,” Desi’s father, Bill, says.

“Not as much for this head coach,” Lincoln yells from his table, and we all laugh.

I realize my parents are here, and my brother is not, but this is still what I want out of my future. I want to be a part of this big family, of these celebrations of love and excitement for each other. Even if I’ve basically avoided my parents this entire week except for a few interactions at meals or near the pool.

I want to have Cassie, Ava, Grace, Desi, and Jolene as my sisters-in-law. I want to have a huge Nash-Banks family Christmas where we each pick a name or exchange a white elephant gift.

I love this family and the feelings I have here. But most of all, I love Miller, and I want to figure out how to make it work with him.

Maybe that means working harder to find that Plan B. Or maybe this is the reality he’s going to have to face, and together we’ll figure out how we’re going to make this work. He was teetering, anyway. He said what happened scared him off from having kids. He didn’t say he never wanted them.

So maybe this was meant to happen. Maybe this was the thing that was always meant to help him figure that out.

Or maybe it was the very thing that was always meant to break us.

CHAPTER 47: Miller Banks

The Hardest Week of the Year

It’s strange waking up to a cruise director announcing groups that need to get the fuck off this boat, but I guess the crew needs to turn this place around so it’s ready for the next group of people boarding later this afternoon.

Part of me doesn’t want to get off the ship. I think about our first day here, sitting out on the balcony with the week in front of us, feeling like we were in paradise as we sipped our piña coladas with edible straws, and now here we are, a week later, and everything has changed.

We shouldn’t let it, and deep down, I know this. Maybe it’s just me bracing for the season. I don’t really know because I’ve never been in a serious relationship as I looked toward training camp. I’ve never felt like I was leaving someone behind, but I do this time.

The other part of me is ready to face what’s coming next. We’ve had a nice, long offseason, and life sure looks different than it did in January when our season ended. I’m ready to get to work. The competitor in me has missed the hell out of the game I love so much, and I’m ready to get back on the field and do what I was born to do.

We meet the rest of the family at the buffet for a quick breakfast, and then we disembark. It’s pretty much pure chaos, and Soph and I end up sharing an Uber with Tanner and Cassie to get to the airport. We catch our flight back to San Diego, and then I have a week to prepare for camp.

To me, that doesn’t mean we have one more week off. That means I need to fix what I fucked up on the cruise—meaning instead of having a dessert after every meal, I need to eat right. I need to work off any extra body fat I picked up over the last six months. I need to run drills for agility and footwork.

In short, I have a week to get ready for the season, and it’ll be the hardest week of the year for me as I put all my focus back into my sport.

And it starts now.

It’s late by the time we get home, so we unpack and head to bed.

Sophie missed a week of work while we were on the ship, and she’s diving back into things there as I plan to meet with the other running backs at Coach Cook’s house on Saturday morning. He’ll coach us through some drills, and it’ll give the three running backs returning from last year a chance to meet with Jalen Jones, the rookie we picked up in the draft, along with a couple of the guys from the practice squad.

The practice squad guys benefit the most from this since they’re all leaving everything on the field when it comes to training camp. It’s their shot to make the active roster, and I know how much they want it. But the three of us coming back from last year and our rookie are all pretty solid, so I’m not sure any of them will get the chance.

When I get to Coach Cook’s house, I see I’m the last one to arrive. It feels like it’s not a good look.

If I want to be the leader of this position, it’s up to me to show up on time and ready to work.

I’m not late—but I’m not early, either.

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