Page 69 of Forbidden Surrogate

Was she so scared about what they would do to Lewis that she wouldn’t even mention him to me knowing that I might slip and tell Luigi? I almost want to dwell on the situation, except Angela trusts me now and that gives me a chance to fix this situation.

“Why do you sound so upset at the idea of her having a black boyfriend?”

“Did you miss the part where I said ballerina?”

I honestly don’t know if I should be accusing Luigi of racism here, or homophobia. I guess the guy must be attracted to Angela, so I don’t know if I can call Luigi homophobic. But there’s something I don’t like about his energy.

“Who cares? They have nice juicy butts. Angela showed me on her phone.”

“I hear you talk about another man’s juicy butt again, I’ll take away your phone privileges.”

That man is such a jealous beast. He’s glaring at me too, like I would take my extremely pregnant ass over to a male ballerina of all things. Angela told me how hard it is to find a man in her dance world who values and wants a relationship with a woman. I have no reason to doubt her and even less of a reason to chase after a male ballerina of my own.

“This isn’t even the point, Luigi.”

“What is the point? If she’s with Lewis, I don’t want her coming back.”

Now I’m starting to get race vibes.

“Do you have a problem because Lewis is a black man?”

“It’s not what you think,” Luigi says. “I’m not a racist.”

He has this look on his face like the conversation is over. But the conversation isn’t over at all.

I keep pushing him. I’m pregnant and on the edge of giving birth, so I need to find out now rather than later that Luigi has an unfixable racism problem rather than a few tame but problematic opinions.

“Then what’s your problem?”

“She’s going to get him killed.”

“So now you’re killing him for being black?” My heart sinks into my stomach. Doesn’t this man know we could have a black son? Maybe I made a mistake in begging Luigi to keep the baby’s sex a secret until we got to hold them in our arms. He clearly hasn’t thought this through, but it’s too late for any changes now.

I’m having this baby. And judging by the constant pressing of little feet against my internal organs, the baby might try to leap out of my body at any time. This entire pregnancy has been pure chaos and the practical details seemed so much more important than Luigi’s thoughts and opinions until this moment where he stares at me darkly as he threatens his sister’s well-being for the crime of being with someone who shares my racial background.

I hate how it feels.

“I wouldn’t be the one killing him,” Luigi responds with obvious frustration. “I know our baby will be black, Delphine. I’m in a safe place with you now to make sure he isn’t in danger for that very reason. I told you, I’m no racist.”

“But you still won’t accept Angela.”

He moves his body closer to mine, desperately seeking some affection and perhaps a change to the topic of our conversation right now. If only it were that easy for me to let Luigi off the hook.

I want Angela back. She trusted me with this because she thinks I can get through to her bull-headed brother and I miss that crazy Italian woman.

“It’s not me. It’s my father. It’s my Uncle Pino. It’s our entire family and how it’s built.”

“Why the hell did you let me get pregnant?”

“I knew I could protect you,” Luigi says with so much assuredness that he almost makes me drip with desire for him. I’ve never met a man who has chosen me the way Luigi has. It’s so fucking confusing to experience this much tenderness from him in one breath and then to face his potentially bigoted opinions with another. “If I’m protecting you and our family, I won’t have time to protect Angela.”

“If she needs protection from your family, our child will have a very difficult life and I don’t think you’re ready for that.”

“I am ready to be your husband and a father to my child. I don’t care who I piss off and I don’t care if I have to leave Buffalo.”

“You’re too deep in the mob to ever leave your family.”

I want him to reassure me, but Luigi’s expression terrifies the crap out of me. It’s like I saw through him in a way he didn’t want to face himself. I let him hold me. His warmth spreads through me and the baby starts moving again. My little peanut kicks my organs so hard that I almost believe there are two of them in there.

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