Page 168 of A King's Oath

“The palace is full of people. They will be here for the next ten days at least. Along with winding up Rawal’s death declaration, there will be rituals every day. Then Sharan’s Rajyabhishek. Don’t come.”

“Iamcoming to India. To you. You can’t stop me.”

“Please, Ava. Please. Just stay put.”

“Ok… but I am leaving here tomorrow. I’ll go home. I’ll come when you are ready.”

Suddenly Samarth realised what Sharan’s Rajyabhishek would mean.

He wouldn’t be ready for Ava for the next decade at the least. More, if Sharan wasn’t ready. He took a deep breath. No decisions to be made tonight. He was exhausted. He wouldn’t be able to sleep but he had to keep control of his words and his actions during this time.

“What do you need, Samarth?” Her soft voice came.

“Sleep,” he lied.

“Ok. Sleep. I’ll call… or you call when you are feeling better.”

“Alright.”

“Samarth?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you cry?”

“No.”

“Do you want to cry?”

“No. If I cry now I won’t be able to function.”

“Ok. Ok. Sleep. Do you want to FaceTime? I’ll stay here, you sleep.”

It was so tempting to say yes, but Samarth did not know where the end of these ten days would leave them. So he lay down on his bed, in the same clothes from today’s court and closed his eyes — “I am already half asleep.”

“Ok, sleep then. Bye.”

“Bye.”

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“Mota Kunwar?” Hira ben’s soft voice made his head turn. She was walking with Sharan, his hand in hers, his tears flowing down his cheeks. He was ready in his white kurta-pyjama to match his for the Terma nu Havan, the final thirteenth-day ritual for their father. The last ten days had passed in a blur. While every minute had seemed difficult to live through, the days had flown by.

Samarth extended one hand and Sharan ran the rest of the way to him, throwing his body into his stomach. Samarth embraced him, his wiry bones shaking under his flesh. He had lost so much weight in the last week, if that was even possible.

“Alright,” Samarth ran a hand through his hair and cupped his nape, like Papa would. “Alright, Sharan. It’s going to be over soon. You have to be strong and not cry there, ok?”

He shook his head.

“Yes,” Samarth tapped the back of his head, injecting some humour into his voice and feeling none of it. Sharan shook his head again. Samarth chuckled, pulling him back and pushing his hair off his forehead. His eyes were red and he looked like he would fall again. But kids were strong. They were resilient. He had seen that with Sharan as a baby too.

Samarth smiled down at him, cupped his cheeks and pushed his tears off his eyes — “Papa went but I am here. I will always be here. Hmm?” He nodded.

Sharan nodded back.

“Now walk with me, Nana Kunwar.”

Sharan pushed off, rubbed his hands down his cheeks and inhaled his hiccuping sobs. Samarth glanced back at Hira ben. She smiled at him, nodding. She was the only elder left for him now. Everybody was gone. Samarth nodded back, not ready to go down that rabbit hole yet.

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