Page 145 of Resist

My jaw dropped. “You killed him?”

“No, Mara.Youdid.” And without so much as a glance at Jacob, Raúl turned away from me and walked out of the room.

82: Two Seconds

Ireached for my brother, pulling on his collar, dragging his head into my lap. More blood was draining, leaking from his nose and out of the corners of his lips. “Jacob,” I screamed again, feeling the desperation consuming me.

He shifted ever so slightly, and his eyelids slowly lifted. The whites of his eyes were red as every delicate blood vessel ruptured, and tears of ruby red dripped out of the corners of his eyes.

“Oh my god, Jacob,” I sobbed, the tears flowing freely. “Please don’t die on me.Please!”

“Mara,” he muttered, my name hardly audible. “You have…to finish it.” Every word took effort. He struggled even to whisper.

“I can’t do this,” I cried. “Not without you. We can still do it. I can still save you,” I said as I stroked his bloodied blond hair.

He coughed, and I watched as blood oozed out of his mouth, more draining from his nose and ears. Oh my god…he was dying. He was really dying and there was nothing I could do to savehim. Nothing I could do to rescue him. There were no cliffs to climb, no hounds to defeat. Nothing…nothing left to do but watch.

I caressed his face, stroking the lines of handsome cheeks as tears flowed down my own. “Oh Jacob…please don’t leave me. I can’t—” I sniffed as another sob racked my chest. “I can’t do it without you.”

His bloodied, oceanic eyes stared at me as he reached his hand up to wipe a tear from my cheek. “It’s got to end, Mara. It has to end…with us.”

“Please…please, please, please.” I didn’t know who I was begging to or what it would change, but it was the only thing I could say. The only thing I could do—beg. Beg that his life would be spared.

“Remember…I love…you.”

I nodded, the tears flowing unchecked as the sorrow consumed my soul. “I know. I love you too. And I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“Don’t…be sorry. I would…do it all over…again…if it meant…I saw you…one last…time.” He dropped his hand as he coughed again, choking on his own blood. And then, with one last shuddering breath, Jacob fell silent.

“Jacob?” I searched his eyes, but they were unseeing. “Jacob!” I shrieked, shaking him. But he remained lifeless in my arms, the blood pooling around us as his body bled out. “No!No, please no!” I shook him again, desperate for him to respond. But he remained limp…nothing but a shell for the soul that was once my brother. “No,” I whimpered as I pulled him into me, shifting my body so I could hold him, gripping him as though I could keep the life inside of him.

But it was of no use.

No amount of pleading, or tears, or grieving would bring him back to me. And I sobbed. I screamed out in anguish. I rockedhis body with mine as I felt myself break.Shattered.None of it was worth it. None of it was worth the pain and suffering of losing my brother. And I didn’t care.

I didn’t care anymore.

Because a life without Jacob was no life at all. I had failed him. I had worked so hard, given up so much, to save him. And in the end, I killed him. I pushed Raúl, cornering him, and he turned around and did what I least expected. He took Jacob from me. And now I was lost.

Lost.

I pulled my brother’s body back, and softly laid him down on the tile, caressing his cheek as I did. I glanced at the clock, its numbers ticking down.

Five minutes.

Only five minutes remained before it would all be over. I wiped the tears from my face, and then positioned myself to lie down next to him, nestling up close, resting my head on his silent chest.

I was tired. I was so tired of losing. I lost Matias to Chelsea, Wes to his father, and Jacob to Raúl. I was so tired of always fighting the losing battle. I wanted no more of it.

And why not?

Why should I have to keep going? To have Charles Calvernon command me like a slave? God only knew what that man wanted from me, and I really didn’t want to find out. At least with Jacob, I stood a chance.Westood a chance as long as we stuck together. But that was over, and I just didn’t care anymore.

I closed my eyes, still feeling the tears streaming from my cheeks as I waited for the clock to finish counting down. A sigh escaped my lips as I resolved myself to let it all end here. No more pain. No more suffering. No more lies and schemes.

I was done. Finished.

Finish it.The little voice in my head niggled me.Finish it, Mara.

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