But the biggest thing I saw was the thing that kept me staring. I saw Wes. I was looking at Wes and, for once, wasn’t being reminded of Chase. I wasn’t thinking of the replica that had died so many months ago. For once, I only saw Wes.
And that scared me.
I shivered, shaking my head to try and break the spell that had taken hold. My body was hot, my heart quick, and shivers ran up and down my spine. I always had thesesensationswhen I looked at Chase. I always had thesesensationswhen I looked at Wes and thought of Chase. But I had never experienced them when I looked at Wes and only saw Wes. And that thought was unnerving. Because I was left wondering what thesesensationsmeant. What was my body trying to tell me when it shivered and quaked and ached for the touch of a boy who wasn’t anything to me?
But I guess that was the piece I was wrestling with…the part I was struggling to accept. That’s the truth I had been trying tobury as I dealt with the confusion I felt around Matias. Wesdidmean something. I just wasn’t sure what that was yet.
“He looks so much like his brother, doesn’t he?” The medic was sitting across from us, watching me as I stared at Wes. “Hope he can live up to his old man’s expectations,” he added.
And just like that, a shot of something flurried within me, and I caught myself speaking without even thinking of my words. “He’s nothing like Chase. But he’s going to do a great job at whatever he’s expected to do.”
The medic looked at me, an eyebrow arched and the expression ofwhat’s your problemon his face, but I turned away from him, looking back at Wes. I didn’t expect him to get it. I didn’t expect anyone to get it.
But I did.
I knew Wes had been compared to his brother his whole life and could never measure up. And now, with Chase gone, he was expected to take on Chase’s responsibilities as the First Son of the North. But I also knew he was hesitant. He had shared that with me in one of the few civil moments we had back at the rebel camp. He shared he wasn’t sure if he wanted the role. And even though he wouldn’t admit it, I knew he was scared.
I couldn’t blame him.
I took in another deep breath, trying my best to shake off my uncertainty. There was so much to be done, so much I had to do, and I just didn’t have time to deal with all the feels right now. I had to stay focused. Jacob needed me. My brother needed me to find him and rescue him before his time ran out.
I took another deep breath, held it for the count of four seconds, and then slowly exhaled to calm my nerves and settle my stress. I knew it was going to be a long flight, so I rested my head back against the Blackhawk and closed my eyes to get some sleep.
***
“We’re here.”
Someone grabbed my shoulder, shaking me awake. And when I opened my eyes, I realized the medic was practically shoving me out of my seat.
“I need you to move. We’ve got to get him into surgery.”
What?
Then my memory filled in the blanks, reminding me that Wes was still hurt and needed to have the bullet removed from his torso. I scrambled out of the helicopter, not wanting to be a hindrance. A quick look around told me we were located out on the open plains. Nothing like the camp we had in the mountains. No…this was all tall grassland and flat for miles and miles. Just darkness, grass, and stars.
I whipped around as the medic climbed out and another group of individuals arrived, red crosses emblazoned on white armbands. It didn’t take long for them to pull Wes out, long limbs limp in their arms, and put him on a stretcher.
“Is he going to be okay?” The medic had already told me he would be, but a small part of me continued to feel anxious.
“Yeah, he’ll be fine. We’ll get the bullet out, stitch him up, and make sure we get him some blood and antibiotics.”
“Can I go with him?”
“No extras in the medical bay. Sorry.”
I nodded, a grimace on my face.Yeah right, you’re sorry.I sighed, mildly frustrated as they took him away from me. Part of me wanted to tell them to shove it and follow them anyway, but I also didn’t want to be in the way. In the end, I ended up taking deep breaths and standing next to the helicopter, not knowing what to do. A few seconds ticked by, and I felt as the exhaustion of the night slowly crawled its way back through me.
“Are you Mara de la Puente?”
I turned to face a soldier who had snuck up on me. “Yeah?”
“You’re wanted in command. Follow me, please.”
Command? Who the hell here wanted me in command?
Curiosity bit me, and I followed. It wasn’t long before I was being guided into a very similar tent to the one I had seen back in the old rebel camp. But unlike the one I was familiar with, this one had a rectangular table as opposed to the round one. No maps hung from the walls, no added decor or fluff. Just a rectangular table, chairs, and a little black box thing in the center of said table.
Jeez…a conference room was more interesting than this. I looked around, noticing that the room was empty. “Hey, who wanted—” My sentence dropped off as I turned to find the soldier gone, and I was alone. “Huh.” I furrowed my brows, turning back around to see the empty space.