Page 60 of Resist

But it sure was beautiful. The long cypress-lined driveway, the giant babbling fountain, and all the trees that actually rustled in the wind, sounding like whispers in the air. It was amazing to see how different Telvia was from the rest of the world. A world I never knew existed. A world I, as well as the rest of the Telvian people, had been denied for almost two decades, simply because Raúl wanted to keep his stupid position as president. Simply because he valued power and control over truth and the wellbeing of those he pledged to serve.

It was disgusting.

The more I saw, the more I learned, the more I shivered at the fact that I took everything he said as the unquestionable truth. How stupid and naïve I was. How ridiculous and absurd that I never used my head to put the pieces together and see that Raúl was full of crap. But I guess that’s what happens when you’re beaten down for so much as whispering a thought thatmightbe considered out of line. Telvian Administration squelched out any independent thought, and fear kept the people obedient.

I was no different.

First Daughter or not, my parents were ready to slaughter me, to burn me alive in front of the masses as an example of what would happen if you dissented against the government. Part of me thought it was just because of who I was. That because I was the bastard child, sacrificing me was an easy decision, one that Belinda was all too happy to orchestrate. But I guess I never should have taken it personally. Because the moment Jacob picked me over them, they were ready to do the same. Ready to execute him in front of a live audience—the esteemed general of the REG—slaughtered at the hands of his own parents.

I shivered.

I couldn’t let Jacob share Chase’s fate. And that was why this mission had to work; why I was going to do everything in my power to make it happen. Train as hard as I had to, kiss whateverass I had to, agree to whatever terms I had to. Chase died because of me. There was no way in hell I was going to allow that to happen again.

Not now, not ever.

Neveragain.

33: Mission Parameters

The last thing I wanted to do was share an hour-long car ride with Wes, which is exactly what ended up happening. While I was standing outside the mansion waiting for my ride, Wes strolled up and parked himself right next to me. And it was awkward…really, really awkward.

We said nothing. Zero words. Just stiff bodies and eyes that looked everywhere but at each other. Or at least that’s what I was doing, and I’m pretty sure he was doing the same. When the car pulled up, I said a silent prayer that Wes was going to drive separately. But nope! Of course not. No sooner did I climb into the car did he follow right in after me. So there we were, sitting next to each other in the town car, tension thick and the Awkward Meter cranked up to eleven.

And it was like that the entire. Freaking. Drive. One long hour, sitting in silence, with my co-leader/future husband a foot away from me. It was awful. And I was pretty sure I was going to claw my eyes out or literally burst from the awkwardness of it allwhen we finally arrived at the base. I didn’t even wait for Smiley to get the door. I clawed onto the handle and busted out as though there was a bomb in the car and the timer had just ticked down to zero.

Of course, my little show garnered the first frown I had ever seen from the driver. Smiley became Frowny, looking concerned and confused. I gave an embarrassed half smile and awkward wave before mumbling, “I’m fine,” and then looked away with a heavy sigh. A few seconds later, I heard the car door close and the engine rev up, tires gripping the asphalt. On instinct, I turned to watch him drive off, only to be reminded of the fact that I wasn’t alone. And there, standing stiff and unwelcomed, was Wes. Classic scowl in place, and the hint of a glare in his eyes.

Oh yes…he was still pissed. No doubt about it.

Clearly, my thought of dressing in military garb wasn’t a dumb idea because Wes did the same thing. What was so not fair was that the olive-green shirt pulled out the flecks of green in his hazel eyes, while the same shade just made my eyes look like mud. His hair was neatly combed, pulled back low at the nape of his neck. Placing his hands in his pockets, he shifted his gaze from me and walked straight past me into the building I was becoming way too familiar with.

It’s okay, Mara. It’s going to be okay.

Collecting myself, I marched on, following his lead. Inside, we met with the same secretary that always worked the front desk. Wes spoke to her while I held back, giving him space. After a minute or two, she pointed down the hall, and Wes moved, never looking behind to see if I was following. That part bothered me a bit, but I swallowed it down.

We made a right down a hall I hadn’t been in before, and then left down another, until we came to two double doors at the end of the hallway. Without so much as glimpsing at me, Wes pushedon the doors and let himself in. I paused, feeling my heart climb to a staccato beat, my stomach suddenly swirling. Forget butterflies. These beasts were raptors, diving and swooping in my gut, making me nauseous and regretting my morning muffin.

Come to think of it, muffins were not going over well for me. This military business was way too intense for stupid muffins. I needed to work on getting some serious food in my stomach. Some protein, fruit, a carrot—anything—because the pastries were always on the edge of being hurled all over the polished floors.

I rubbed my face, trying my best to take deep breaths to ease my anxiety. I just didn’t get it. Why was this so intense for me?

“Hey, girly!”

I jumped, startled, but recognized the voice instantly, and whirled around to see familiar brown eyes, a devious smile, and jet-black hair wrestled into a sleek low-lying bun.

“Edith!” I embraced her, gripping her, so grateful to see her.

“Hey,” she said again, wrapping her arms around me cheerily. But it only took a second before she asked, “Mara?”

Something about how I clung to her must have revealed I needed this hug. That this was more than just ahello, but a lifeline. “Whoa,” she mumbled gingerly, stroking my back. “Is everything okay?”

I couldn’t reply. I just held her, leaning into her embrace, soaking in as much comfort as I could and allowing her secure hold to settle the anxiety reeling in my stomach. And Edith, being the amazing human being that she was, knew exactly what to do. She didn’t poke. She didn’t pry. She didn’t push me away. She just held me. After several minutes, my heart finally settled. My breathing slowed back into a reasonable rhythm, and once I was in control again, I released her from my desperate hug.

“Well,” she started, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I never took you for the gooey, physical type, but I’m down for that,” she teased, trying to lighten the mood.

I shrugged. “Yeah. I guess sometimes you just need a hug, you know?”

“Don’t we all? But seriously, you okay?”

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