Page 54 of Resist

What the hell happened?

The question circled my mind over and over again as I sat in the limo on the way to the military base.

Why does life have to make things so freaking complicated?

Wes hated me. Then it was like helikedme. Then, he hated me again. Then we jumped to being friends, then we were weird and awkward, and then it seemed like friendship again. Then we went back to weird and awkward, andnow? What the hell wasnow? I couldn’t even answer the stupid question becausenowwas confusing. My entire relationship with this guy had been confusing, complicated, hot again, and then cold again. And,seriously, he was driving me nuts. I mean, for real, how could he do that? Get all close and hot and sexy and all up in my personal space, making me want to—

Nope!

Not going there.

Will not go there.

Won’t think about it, not gonna talk about it, not gonna evenremotelylet my brain wanderthere!

I refused to admit that Wes stirred up the wildest sensations within me.

Just like before in the rebel camp, he had the strangest way of making me feel crazy, of making my body yearn for his touch, for close proximities. But I knew so much of that was because he was identical to his brother. My brain projected emotions I had for Chase onto Wes, and it created the most confusing experience for me as I explored my feelings for Matias. And then it all seemed like it died down. Sure, I still thought he was sexy as hell, but I was confident in my affections for Matias.

But then the camp burned to the ground, our worlds turned upside down, and I was separated from both of them. Sparse communications, no interactions, no nothing…for amonth. That is, until it was time to do the Admin Job. And, of course, I couldn’t forget the sting I felt when Matias refused to participate and didn’t even so much as say “good luck.”

But Wes…

Wes volunteered. Wes stepped up to help me when no one else would. And then training together, once again, created a space to deepen a friendship that was left as a fragile bud when the world burned down all those months ago. But then it was awkward too. And now I knew that a big piece of that awkwardness was his awareness of our potential future marriage. And that…that left a sad feeling within me. But why?

Why did Wes being nice to me because he suspected our future betrothal matter so much? Why did that little detail make such an enormous difference?

Was it because I wanted him to like me?

My heart seized at the intrusive thought. Wait… Was that really it? Did I…did IwantWes to like me? Did I…did I likehim?

No!No, I wasn’t going there. I couldn’t, not now. There was too much at stake, and I couldn’t let myself get distracted with emotions that were only going to cloud my judgment. It didn’t matter what I wanted. And, in the end, it didn’t matter why Wes made me hot and bothered. He was a boy…I was hormonal or something.Whatever.It didn’t matter.

All that mattered was one thing, and I was going to do whatever it took to get Jacob back.

***

Once I settled into theit didn’t matterstate of mind, it was easier to just enjoy the rest of the ride to the base. Of course, my brain didn’t want to fully cooperate, and it kept trying to bring back the memory of Wes and me in my room…so close to my bed…so hot…so—erg!But eventually, I was able to rein control over my thoughts and focus on the task at hand.

When we arrived, I was quick to jump out and race into the building. I didn’t even give Smiley time to open my door. I met the secretary again—Lindy, I thought her name was—and asked her to let Giza know I had arrived.

It didn’t take long before Lindy was walking me back into the Situation Room. This one was different from the first, but similarly decorated with a similar long table, chairs, and a projector system. A pitcher of water with several empty glasses waited in the center of the table. And, seated with files and drawings sprawled out in front of him, was Giza.

“Miss de la Puente,” he greeted as he stood up from his chair. “Good of you to come.”

“Sergeant Major,” I replied, giving him a brief salute. It was always weird to me, approaching Giza. It’s not like I interacted with him a lot, but his salt and peppered hair, graying goatee, and kind eyes made him feel like a kickass grandpa. There wasnothing stiff or jerkish about him. He easily commanded respect but did so with a warmth that always made it hard for me not to want to address him by his name or just…well, hug him when I needed one.

“Please take a seat,” he motioned to the chair across the table from him.

I nodded and accepted the invitation. “Is anyone else coming?” It seemed odd to me that we’d be having a mission briefing and only he and I would be present. Then again, I didn’t have a lot of experience with these things, and maybe this was the standard protocol?

“For the moment,” he slowly sat in his seat. “I wanted to meet with you briefly first before we began the meeting.”

Interesting…I stayed quiet, waiting for him to begin.

“Would you like something to drink?” He reached for the pitcher and an empty glass.

I nodded and mumbledthank youas he handed me some water. “So, what did you want to see me about?”

---