Page 55 of Dissent

“Whoa now…” My stomach felt like a ton of bricks just dropped in. “We’re just friends.”

The subtle smile returned, but the twinkling in her eyes told me she wasn’t buying what I was selling. “Of course,” she cooed, “just friends. Understandably so.” I gripped my teacup again, taking another swig to calm my nerves. “From what I hear, he seems quite taken with you.”

I choked on my tea again, spitting what I had in my mouth back into my cup. “He’s what? What does that mean? What have you heard?” My questions came out in rapid succession, and if Sasha had any doubts about how I felt about Matias before, I definitely just played my whole damn hand.

She cocked a brow. “It means that he seems very concerned about you and your wellbeing.” She lifted her own teacup, sipping some of its contents before continuing. “He was here early this morning.”

Sitting up straight, I was suddenly enthralled by everything she had to say. “Why? What did he want?”

She took her time, sipping more of her hot brew, while I sat in my chair feeling my insides crawl. Finally putting her cup down, she continued again. “He seemed rather insistent that I reassignhimto your training. Matias is usually very good at accepting orders, but he was fairly intent ongivingthem instead this morning.”

“He did?”

She nodded. “Yes…I don’t think I’ve ever had Mr. Alvarez giving orders to me before.” She watched me silently, and I could just feel the seconds ticking by. “I told him I would take hisrecommendationinto consideration.”

Chewing my bottom lip, I mulled over her words in my head. It didn’t take long before she was asking me another question.

“Tell me about your relationship with Wes.”

I couldn’t help it—I snorted. “Oh yeah,” I drawled sarcastically, “we’re total besties.”

The corners of her eyes wrinkled as the line of her lips curved into a knowing smile. “It’s going that well, I take it.”

“Ha!” I let out before tipping the cup back, only to discover that I had already emptied it. “Yeah, it’sawesome.” I knew it wasn’t her fault. The bitterness in my tone wasn’t meant for her, but I just couldn’t control myself. Thankfully, Sasha seemed forgiving enough and her demeanor shifted slightly to let me know she was listening. I groaned, “He’s just such a jerk. I’m pretty sure he hates me, and it doesn’t matter what I do, he just goes out of his way to make my life miserable.” I slumped into my chair. “It’s not like it’s that hard to do anyhow,” I added bitterly.

Sasha watched quietly, eyeing me. “You know, he is hurting deeply, child.”

“Yeah, well, that makes two of us,” I muttered, staring at the floor, not wanting to meet her gaze.

“I know you can understand his pain better than most. But you should not begrudge him so much. He really is quite the sweet boy—”

I snorted again, cutting her off. “Oh yeah, I’m sure.” The words tasted bitter in my mouth. The truth was, I knew there was more to Wes, but I was also horribly confused by him. And frankly, the situation going on between us was getting really old.

We sat in silence for a moment before I started up again. “Ugh! I just don’t know what his problem is. I mean, I get it, I really do. I liked Chase, and when he died, there was a part of me that felt like I died too, you know? Chase represented hope for me, and when he was gone, it just felt like the hope was gone with him.” The sting of tears pricked my eyes as Chase’s memory flooded me. “And then I come here and find out I was just some sort ofmissionfor him.”

Sasha stayed quiet, making sure I’d finished before she spoke. “Chase was a fantastic soldier. He was loyal, brave, kindhearted, and always willing to accept his duty, no matter what I requested of him.” I sniffed, wiping my nose, watching Sasha’s expressions carefully shift as she spoke. “I loved that boy dearly. He reported frequently while he was in Telvia on his assignment, keeping me updated. In the beginning, his reports were to the point, brief, giving me the facts and nothing more. But then…something changed.

“It was subtle. So subtle, in fact, I didn’t even notice it at first. His reports carried just a hair more detail, and his choice of words or what he reported on shifted. And at one point, I finally realized what had changed. Chase’s reports were no longer just of what intel he had gathered. The subject of his writing became more focused, and that focus was you.”

My breath caught, lips parting in a silent gasp.

“Chase began telling me all aboutyou, Mara. How you wore your hair, what pains the First Lady of Telvia put you through. He would tell me of your plans for your eighteenth birthday, and he even askedthisold woman for advice on the perfect gift.”

One blink. That’s all it took…and then the quiet tears were rolling down my cheeks.He cared. He actually cared.

“Chase might have entered your life because he was assigned to, child. But I can assure you that he remained in your life because he grew to care about you very much.”

Wiping my tears with the back of my hand, I sniveled.

“If I were you, child, I would stop questioning his care for you. He might have been betrothed to you by duty, but Chase’s devotions were born of his own heart.”

I nodded in acknowledgment, accepting the truth of her words until her words registered clearly. “Wait a minute. What did you say?”

Sasha looked at me, perplexed. “He cared for you, child.”

I shook my head. “You saidbetrothed. What do you mean by that? I wasn’t engaged to Chase. We weren’t even technically dating yet.” I watched Sasha carefully now as her eyes seemed to widen in recognition. “Sasha,” I treaded cautiously, “What did you mean by that?”

Her lips parted as though she was about to speak and then closed. The silence stretched as she seemed to measure her words, calculating what she was going to say next. Finally, she answered, “I thought you knew by now.”

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