Page 34 of Dissent

I wanted to tell him, to reassure him that there was no ill will from me. But there was no way in hell I was going to tell himallof that. But I knew what Ididwant to say. What I wanted him to know. So, I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly through my lips, and spoke.

“I’m sorry too.” I was sorry because I knew his brother died because of me. I was the one that gave up his name, and maybe if I hadn’t, Raúl would never have figured out he was a Dissenter. I was sorry. But I kept the second part to myself, unable to hear those words spoken aloud. But I thought he understood, hearing the unspoken piece, because he looked up at me, standing up a little straighter. The stone-cold hardness was gone, and so was the annoyance and hatred from earlier, replaced by softness. I gave a small nod and then turned to leave again when he spoke one more time.

“Did you love him?”

I froze. It was a question I didn’t expect, and I wasn’t prepared to answer it. The silence lingered between us. Did I love him? I thought maybe I did, but…but did he love me? That part confused me. Knowing everything I knew now created a fog over the whole thing. I sighed before finally answering.

“I…I don’t know. I don’t even know what we were or if…” I stopped short.Or if he even really cared about me.I couldn’t say it. It was still too painful to think about. To think that I was just ajobto him. That all the things I thought were happening between us were nothing more than a show. I cleared my throat as I felt the knot forming and the threat of tears. I didn’t want to cry. Not again, not now. Not in front of him.

I took a deep breath, doing my best to push down the emotions I felt welling up inside. When I thought I had it under control, I took the chance to look up at Wes. But he wasn’t looking at me. He seemed lost in thought, staring at the ground in front of him. No matter how messed up it was that Chase and this whole rebellion totally duped me, I felt bad. Because Chase may not have liked me, not really anyway, but I…I did like him. And if losing him was hurting me as much as it was, I couldn’t even imagine what it was like for his brother.

Wes stiffened as his gaze lifted to meet my own. “What gave him up?”

“What?”Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no.

His stern look bore into me, unsettling my core. His words came out slow and measured, and each one drilled into my soul. “How did they find him out, Mara? How did they figure out who he was?”

I could feel myself wanting to back down, to run in the opposite direction as fast as I could. But I was glued to the floor. Paralyzed by the truth that I feared would destroy me from the inside out. “I-I…”It was me! I did it! I gave his name up!I wanted to. But I couldn’t. For all I knew, Wes would kill me right here, right now, if I told him the truth.

“You what?”

“I-I don’t know,” I finally pushed out in a rush. He raised a brow, but his eyes never wavered. I could feel the accusation in them. I pushed on. “I really don’t know. But I’m sorry, Wes. I’m so, so sorry.” Sweat was beading up on my brow, my heart a pattering disaster behind my ribs.

Wes remained still, emotions glimmering through his eyes for only a few seconds before he rolled his shoulders back, straightening himself to his full height. “You should be.” He then turned on his feet and walked away, leaving me feeling empty and rotten. If I thought I felt like shit before, I was wrong because I felt so much worse now. I tried to push it down, but the guilt and shame clawed their way up and consumed me. I dropped my face into my hands and cried.

***

It wasn’t long before I got an annoyed text from Chelsea, reminding me that the world didn’t wait on me anymore now that I’d fallen from grace. I wiped my cheeks, took several deep breaths to calm myself, and made my way out of the building—if you could even call it that. It didn’t take me long to spot the head of gorgeous red curls. I shifted my gaze to see the other people she was with. There was someone I didn’t recognize and Matias, who was dressed in a similar outfit as mine. It was an amazing display of muscle.

Every ripple was well defined in the dark green jumpsuit, every sensuous line and delicious curve. And he looked good.Realgood. As I looked up, I saw his eyes on me and my cheeks grew hot, flushing red. Of course, he would catch me gawking, and there was no doubt about it either because the smuggest smirk I’d ever seen took over the corner of his mouth. It was the same damn smirk Chase would give any time I swooned at his gentle touches. But I couldn’t stay embarrassed for long because it was seconds later that my name was being called. I snapped out of it, seeing the guy I didn’t recognize calling me and motioning me toward them.

All right…here we go.With a deep breath, I joined the group.

“My name’s Melton Wynters, Mara, and I’m head of training. I’m in charge of setting up your training schedule. Now, we’ve received some new intel. There’s been an increase in disappearances in District 3 in Telvia. Bunch of Subclass folks have gone missing. Our agents report that whole families have disappeared in the district. We need to figure out what’s going on. That means, Chelsea, you’re being reassigned to recon for a bit. Head back to camp and receive your new assignment.”

Chelsea nodded. “You got it, sir.”

Wynters tipped his head before returning his attention back to the rest of us. “Matias, you’ll be working on—”

“What did I miss?” The voice nearly made me jump out of my skin—and jumpsuit—from behind me. And he was close…waytoo close. Like,in-my-personal-spaceclose. I knew who it was before I even turned my head to confirm it. Before Wynters even said his name.

“Wes, nice of you to finally join us.” Wynters folded his arms across his chest, clenching his jaw. “I was just giving out assignments. You’ll be working with Mara.”

My stomach dropped.

16: Wes-ward Bound

Ofcourse,hewouldbe…because that was my life right now. My dead,almostboyfriend’s identical twin brother, whohatedme—Oh! And let’s not forget, wanted tostabme with a knife less than twenty-four hours ago—was going to be working with me. Because whywouldn’tthat be the next logical step in this whole mess I was in? And of course, this was coming right after a super weird and intense encounter in a hallway.

I said nothing, of course, because what was I going to say?Hi, um, excuse me…Mr. Boss Wynters? Can we not be paired up for this class project? I’ve decided I want to live to see another day, and, um, this might be awkward for us both, but I’m pretty sure my goal of staying alive might conflict with Wes’s goal of murderfying my face!Yeah, I didn’t think that was going to fly.

“I don’t think so.” Wes’s voice came out deep with no sign of hesitation or backing down. I shot a quick look at him, a scowl etched across his face.

“That’s not an option, soldier. And you’d be wise to mind your tone.”

“I’m not training withher.”

Jeez…I get he hated me and don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t signing up for the Wes fan club either, but his insistence of staying away from me stung. Which was also surprising to me. I mean, why did I care? I shot a quick glance at Matias, who gave me a woeful smile before returning a hard gaze at the testosterone match playing out before us.