Page 29 of Dissent

“Put the knife away, Wes,” Matias insisted firmly. Even through his shirt, I could see the bulging tension of his biceps. He wasn’t gripping his sidearm, but there was no mistaking that he was ready for a fight. Wes must have registered the same thing because he rolled his shoulders back, visibly taking a deep breath as he placed the knife in a sheath hanging from his belt. Matias looked at me. “Are you all right, Mara?” I just nodded, closing my mouth and rubbing my lips together as I took another deep breath to settle my nerves.

“She needs to leave,” Wes stated, jaw clenched.

Matias stood up straighter, rolling his own shoulders back as he shook his head. “It’s not her fault, brother. You know exactly how all of that went down and her leaving won’t change all that.”

Wes’s green eyes hardened, his lips set in a firm line as his gaze shifted back to me. “You need to leave.” The words slid out through gritted teeth.

“That’s not happening, Wes. She’s one of us now.”

He stiffened. “Yeah, we’ll see about that.” Then he took a few steps backward before finally turning and disappearing into the foliage.

I felt my breath escape me, the pounding in my chest settling. But I was still frozen in place, gripping the little fabric that covered my naked body. Matias closed the gap between us.

“Hey, are you really okay? Did he touch you?” I shook my head, unable to speak yet. I gripped the towel harder, trying to pull it up closer to my body, and before I could stop myself, I began crying.

I felt like such a fool, but I was so overwhelmed and I just didn’t want to do this anymore. I wanted to stop the tears, but I just couldn’t, and they just kept coming. Before my brain could register what was happening, I was being held, and I leaned into it, burying my face in Matias’s firm chest. All I did was cry, and all he did was embrace me silently, letting the tears fall.

After some time, I found the ability to control myself. My pride was trashed, but at least I felt a little better. Matias had been gentle and knew exactly when to give me space so I could dress. We were walking back to camp when I finally had the courage to speak again.

“You called himWes. Is that his real name?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is his name Chase or Wes? I knew him as Chase Beckham back in Telvia.”

Recognition crossed his face, and he looked away from me quickly. “Yeah, his name is Wes.” I felt my throat sting, and the desire to cry surged within me, but my eyes were dry and itchy. I doubted I had any tears left in me. Raúl was right about Chase, after all. He was a Dissenter.

“Mara, who you saw today wasn’t Chase.”

“Excuse me?”

He swallowed hard as he tried to explain it to me. He took in a deep breath as he stopped walking, turning to face me. “Chase and Wes are the Calvernon brothers. They’re the heirs of the North.”

“But…but he looked just like him.”

“Yeah, it’s trippy, I know. They’re identical twins actually, but Chase liked to boast he was the oldest even though he was only born, like, a minute before, or some shit like that.”

Realization struck me like a ton of bricks. “Thatwasn’tChase?” I realized then that I had been hoping it was. I would rather have Chase alive and hating my guts than dead because of me.

“No, Mara, that wasn’t Chase.”

I stared at the floor. Some part of me felt like going back to the river, to immerse myself in the water and never surface for air. Another part of me was feeling something new. Something tingled and spurred a sensation of heat deep within me. But I squelched it. I felt lost. Matias must have sensed that I was struggling with something because he began trying to explain.

“Chase had been working with the rebels for a long time. He knew the risk he took when he accepted you as his mission. He went into Telvia as Chase Beckham and his Telvian parents were also some of ours. They weren’t his real mom and dad, though. And Wes…well, he’s hurting. They were close, but he’ll come around.”

There was a whole lot that just got dumped on me. Chase was not ChaseBeckham,but ChaseCalvernon. And the boy of my dreams also had an identical twin brother who obviously despised me and probably blamed me for Chase’s death. I couldn’t blame him, though. Itwasmy fault. But there was something else. If I heard right, Chaseacceptedmeas hismission? Now what on earth did that mean? “Hiswhat?”

Matias suddenly looked confused. “They were brothers,” he tried again to explain. “And Wes’s kind of hotheaded and he’s hurting, so you need to give him a little space, okay?”

“No, not that. I’m talking about what you said about hismission. What did you mean by saying that heaccepted me as his mission?”

Something changed in Matias’s expression. He cleared his throat, looking away from me as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other and then back again. Clearly, he was feeling uncomfortable with the direction the conversation had taken. “Look, Mara, you have to remember that this is a war we’re fighting. And we all get asked to do things that sometimes may seem unfair. But that doesn’t mean that what you had with him wasn’t real.”

Heat rose within me again, and I could feel my cheeks flushing with it. But this time, I had a better idea of the emotion seething inside of me. I was angry. No, wait…I waspissed. “Are you telling me that Chase was my friend because it was amission? I was some sort ofobjectivein your guys’ stupid little rebellion?”

“Mara, calm down—”

“I willnotcalm down,” I interrupted him. How could I have been so stupid to believe that someone actually cared about me? “I liked him, Matias. And I thought he liked me too. And ever since he died, I have done nothing but blame myself for his death. And now I’m finding out that it was all some sort of ruse? That I was amission? Hell no!”

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