Page 21 of The Bad Boy Rule

Parading the man who cheated on me in front of my face and demanding a reconciliation despite his infidelity is apparently my breaking point.

This isn’t who I am. This isn’t the life that I want.

I’m very well aware of the privilege that I have when it comes to schooling, housing, and all of the things that my parents have supported and provided for me, and I am grateful for them. It’s just those things come at a cost, and I’m done paying the price for my parents’ love.

No one should have to feel like they’re suffocating.

No one should have to feel so… alone standing in a room full of people with all eyes on them.

No one should feel caged in a life they don’t want.

And I’ve done it for so long. I’ve fallen in line and done everything I’ve been told because as suffocated as I’ve felt, I hate feeling the weight of my parents’ expectations.

I want to make them proud, to be everything they wish for, but I’m exhausted and weary.

I can’t do this anymore.

I won’t.

TEN

LENNON

I refused to let myself cry in front of either of them, to give them more power than they already have over me, but the second I stumble out of the Uber in front of my apartment, the tears fall hot, heavy, and wet on my cheeks, my chest heaving with small sobs.

My hand’s shaking so badly I can hardly get the key into the lock.

Somehow, I manage to unlock it and step inside, throwing my purse on the foyer table, not caring where it actually lands.

“Oh, you’re home, good. You can help me wax my bikini li—” Maisie stops short as she appears in front of me, her words dying on her tongue when she sees me. Undoubtedly, there’s mascara running down my cheeks, my eyes red and puffy from crying. “Len, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

She rushes over, gathering me into her arms without hesitation, where I crumple, crying into her chest. Her fingers stroke my hair, and for the first time tonight, I feel safe to break.

To let go of everything I’ve been carrying that feels like the weight of the entire world.

It doesn’t take me long to recount what happened, my watery words trailing off into sobs, until I’m completely empty. There’s nothing left to cry.

My hurt begins to morph into anger, the disbelief wearing off with it.

The betrayal by Chandler feels like nothing compared to my father’s, and it hurts. It enrages me in a slightly unhinged way that I don’t feel the least bit guilty over.

“The audacity. The only thing Chandler has is freaking audacity…” Maisie says when I’m done, shaking her head. We’re sitting on the hardwood in the hallway side by side, my head lying against her shoulder. “I bet you he had a little dick too.”

I laugh. “If it’s in comparison to his ego, then yes, absolutely. There’s no way there’s room for both.” Sitting up, I pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them, resting my cheek on top.

“I’m sorry, Lenn. Chandler’s a complete asshole, but your father bringing him there is unbelievable. I’m sorry that you had to go through that. He never deserved you then, and he sure as hell doesn’t deserve you now.”

She’s right, and I know that. I’ve never questioned the decision to walk away from him because it is and always was the right choice.

I just wish that my father cared more about me, his daughter, instead of how I represent him. I’m not a shiny trophy for anyone, especially not a guy like Chandler.

And I wish that Chandler would get the point. Move on and leave me alone. He fucked up my life enough to come back and try to do it all over again.

My gaze moves to the pink gemstone on my finger.

After everything that happened with him after my senior year, I decided to rebrand the promise ring that my parents got me. Instead of throwing it out along with the stupid promise Imade to my parents, myself, and the man I would marry one day, I’ve used it as a way to take a step toward reclaiming pieces of myself.

My body. My choices.

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