Page 57 of Chain Me Knot

Emotions cascade across his face, and he lets me see every one. Pain darkens his eyes. Rage tightens the corners of his mouth. Pride softens his features when he looks at me standing here. And something deeper, something that makes my chest tight, warms his entire expression. He's being vulnerable, deliberately transparent. Letting me read him like a book. Written just for me.

His thumb strokes circles on my palm, each touch sending little sparks up my arm. “Do you know how incredible you are?” His voice is rough with feeling. Deeper. “You survived the worst humanity could throw at you. And here you stand, still fighting, still dreaming.”

“Not all in one piece,” I whisper.

His gaze roams my face again before he eventually speaks. “Have you heard of Kintsugi?”

I shake my head. I’m going to change my ignorance about the world and everything in it. I’ve missed out on so much while locked away.

His free hand comes up to brush a strand of hair from my face. His fingertips trace my cheek so lightly, they’re barely there. The gesture is careful. Thoughtful. Intimate because it comes from him. “It's a Japanese art form. When precious pottery breaks, they repair it with gold. The cracks become part of the piece's history. They believe that something that's been broken and repaired is stronger and more precious than something that's never been damaged at all.”

His eyes hold mine, intense and sincere. Little flecks of darker blue ring his pupils, like the ocean depths. “Your cracks don't make you less whole, Emma. They make you more precious. More beautiful. More valuable.”

The words hit something deep inside me, something I thought had shattered beyond repair. My gasp is lost in the wind because he really means what he says. He isn’t merely mouthing words to make me feel better. These words are carefully chosen. They hold true meaning and like the heat-seeking missiles they are, they spear right through my walls and straight into my heart.

Phoenix sends me a cheeky smile that softens his features into something almost boyish. “Want company for your first step into the waves?”

Something warm and unfamiliar swells in my chest. Anticipation mixed with a giddy sort of excitement I haven't felt since before I was taken to Haven. His enthusiasm is infectious, his joy at sharing this moment with me so pure my heart flutters. His scent carries no demands, no expectations, just genuine pleasure at being part of my moment.

I find myself returning his grin, the expression feeling foreign but right on my face.

“O…okay.” I nod, and his answering smile outshines the sun. He looks at me in a way that feels like I’m giving him a gift instead of the other way around.

The next wave races toward us, hissing on the sand. Phoenix's hand tightens slightly in mine, not restraining, just anchoring. “Ready, Tough Girl?”

He steps forward and tugs me along. The water rushes over my feet and I gasp. It's cold, shocking, absolutely perfect. Tiny bubbles fizz around my toes, tickling my skin with effervescent joy. The sand shifts beneath my feet as the water recedes, like the earth itself is breathing.

“Oh,” I whisper, wonder making my voice small. Everything I imagined pales in comparison to this reality.

Phoenix's thumb strokes across my knuckles as another wave approaches. “Here comes another one. Are you ready?”

I’m more than ready. I step toward the wave, pulling him with me. The water swirls around our ankles, and his delighted laugh mingles with the sound of waves. The joy in that sound is contagious, pure, completely without artifice.

For the first time in forever, I feel... free.

Alive.

Real.

And the alpha holding my hand isn't a jailer or an owner. There are no chains around my ankle, locking me to a wall in the darkness. No, here is light and laughter and joy.

The next wave approaches and this time the water hits my knees in a shocking burst of cold that makes me gasp. My yoga pants cling to my legs. The sensation is exhilarating, cold and wild and completely beyond control. Like being baptized in something ancient and pure.

“Bit chilly?” Phoenix teases, his eyes dancing with mischief. Sunlight catches his sparkling eyes, making him look like some kind of ocean god. “Want to see how deep your courage goes?”

Something about his playful challenge makes me brave. Makes me want to prove I can be more than a broken thing. I want to be put back together with gold and made whole and beautiful.

We wade deeper, each step stirring up sand beneath our feet. The water swirls around us, pushing and pulling like it wants to make us part of something bigger. The water rises to our thighs, my clothes completely soaked now but it doesn't matter. Nothing matters except this moment, this freedom, this choice to keep going.

A larger wave hits us, sending spray up over my chest. Salt water touches my lips, and I realize I'm smiling so wide my cheeks hurt. Phoenix's laugh rings out across the water. The sound does something to my insides, makes me want to hear it again.

A wildness takes hold of me. I scoop up water in my palms and scatter the drops over him before I can overthink my actions. Drops clinging to his eyelashes as he blinks in surprise. For a moment I freeze, old terror trying to surface but his smile grows impossibly wider. His brows jump over bright eyes. “Oh, it's on now, Tough Girl.”

The game catches fire between us, splashing and dodging sprays dug up by our hands. Water flies everywhere until we're both completely drenched. My hair is plastered to my face, my clothes are saturated, and I'm laughing. Actuallylaughing. The sound surprises me. It’s been years since I’ve felt this light. There was no laughter after Mom and Dad died. Certainly none to be had at Haven.

Suddenly I'm aware of how close we are, how his body fills all the spaces and radiates heat that draws me to him. Droplets trace paths down his neck, over thestrong column of his throat, making me want to follow their journey with my fingers. His shirt clings to broad shoulders, outlining every muscle in a way that makes my mouth go dry despite the salt water.

My breath catches for reasons that have nothing to do with cold water. This close, I can see every shade of blue in his eyes, count the tiny laugh lines at their corners. His hands on my waist are gentle but steady, giving me every opportunity to pull away.

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