Page 38 of Chain Me Knot

“Tough Girl…If this is about Asher, he’s told me to tell you he’ll move into the property next door. You won’t have to see him. We can get through this. We’ll work out a way.”

But there isn’t anything to be done. Not now my body has decided it’s alpha fun-times.

“Please Phoenix. Just let me sleep.” It’s all I can muster to keep him out.

His sigh through the door is loud. “I’ll be coming back, Emma.” He waits another moment, then his footsteps retreat.

I curl into myself, fighting the cramps, the slick, the empty ache in my core that demands to be filled. This heat will be a bad one, I can already tell. My body's revenge for denying its needs for so long.

A bitter laugh escapes me. Pack Carmichael will be thrilled. They always liked me best when I was desperate and begging. When heat stripped away my defiance and left me a whimpering mess.

Maybe it's fitting that I'll be returned to them like this. Already reduced to the base omega they always saw me as. Their perfect little slut. The fairy lights blur as tears finally spill over, tracking hot paths down my cheeks. I let them fall, too tired to wipe them away, too heartsick to care.

The phone on the nightstand rings. I glance at the screen. Mira. Of course, the alphas would have told her about my refusal to eat, to engage, to do anything but stare out this window like it's my last lifeline.

Itismy last lifeline.

She tries again when I don't answer. If I pick up and she hears the strain in my voice, the tears I can't quite swallow, she'll come here. She'll find me like this—sweating, cramping, reeking of impending heat. She'll know how broken I truly am.

I can't face her pity. Can't bear her gentle understanding. So I let the phone ring out, watching her name flash on the screen until it goes dark.

Messages pop up next. Concern. Support. Promises that everything will be okay, that I'm not alone, that she's here for me. Each one is a tiny dagger in my heart, a reminder of the future I can't have. I take solace that one of us found her happy-ever-after. That’s one bright light in the darkness of my existence.

The pool takes on an ethereal glow as darkness steals the day. The moon rises to its peak. The fairy lights transform the water into something out of a fantasy. It's not my beach, not the endless stretch of sand and sea I dreamed of, but it's still water. Still a glimpse of a world beyond walls and pain.

Tomorrow, I'll be back in the basement. There will be no more windows. No sky, sun, or moon. No glittering water dancing with light. Just concrete and darkness and the Carmichaels' emotions running through me.

No number of security patrols outside can stop a judge's ruling. No alpha posturing or legal maneuvering can change the fact that I'm property, bound by law.

Another cramp rips through my abdomen, so intense I nearly call out. The urge for a knot—my alpha’s knot—is overwhelming. I bite my lip until I taste blood, refusing to make a sound and give my body what it wants.

If I had anything in my stomach, I'd vomit. As it is, I can only bring up bile, my body preparing for heat by emptying everything out. My pants drip with slick. My skin is too tight, my blood molten in my veins.

Through the haze of pain and need, the water sparkles.

Calls to me.

Promises relief, escape.

Oblivion.

I don't remember getting out of bed. Crossing the room, opening the door, stumbling down the stairs. My head is fuzzy and I’m so very tired.

I dream of my beach where I don’t drown in terrible bonds. Where my mind is clear. Where I’m happy and free and no alpha wants me for things I don’t want to give. The tiling under my feet is replaced with sand. Chlorine dissolves in place of fresh, salty brine. The rhythmic crash of waves against the shore and… I'm…I’m here!

The water laps at my toes, cool and inviting and it's exactly as I imagined. The moon hangs full and heavy above me, turning the sand to silver, the water to rippling obsidian. I don't remember the journey that brought me to this moment but none of that matters now. All that matters is the sea, the sky, the absolute freedom stretching out before me.

My lips stretch into a grin. Gods, I'm finally, finallyhere.

I take a step down, sinking into the water, then another. The water rises to my ankles, my calves, my knees. Each step brings blessed relief, the cold embrace of the waves soothing the fire under my skin.

I'm waist-deep now, the dark depths urging me further in. The coolness stings the cuts on my thighs, the bruises on my hips, but it's a clean pain. A healing pain. The water is washing me clean, carrying away the dirt, the shame, the scars in my head.

The water will soothe me like I always knew it would.

It will take away everything I wish hadn’t happened.

Something close to peace washes through me. One more step. One more stride forward, and I submerge. The cool water closes over my head, and it feels. So. Good. The heat inside me is no match for the water. Just as I knew it would be. I let the sea embrace me, fill me, become me.

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