Page 67 of Heart on Ice

Fuck. “I have to tell you something. Fuck. I don’t know if you are going to look at me the same. I’m disgusted with myself. I’m so sorry.”

Pierre gets up from the dining table and walks across the living room to where I am standing beside the bar. He places two large hands on my shoulders.

“Breathe. Whatever it is I can handle it. I’m a big boy.” Don’t I know it.

“I can’t look at you.” I stare down at the floor.

“Issy,” he says my name softly, probably wondering why I’ve lost my mind, and places a finger under my chin, lifting it so that I’m looking at him. “It’s me. There’s nothing that you can say to me that will make me think any less of you.” I know he means it, but I don’t know if he will after I confess what I did.

“You’re going to hate me,” I whisper to him.

“Try me. This is you and I starting again. You can trust me, Issy,” he reassures me.

I bite my bottom lip. Do it. Tell him. It’s eating you up inside. “Please don’t hate me.”

Pierre’s face softens. “I could never.” His thumb slides across my cheek. I hate how my body reacts to his touch still after all these years. Okay, here goes.

“Just so you know, there are security cameras in the living room,” I say super quickly.

Pierre’s hand falls from my face as he looks around the room. “Cameras?”

“Yes. I’m sorry. I should have told you earlier, but I didn’t think about it. Until … I … didn’t think you would … you know … um,” I stutter.

“You didn’t think I would …” As if the penny drops, Pierre realizes what I am talking about. “You saw me today?” he asks. I nod.

“I wasn’t spying. I was worried you were going to search through my room, and I didn’t want you seeing my vibrators, but I guess that doesn’t matter now,” I blabber.

“Vibrators?”

I wave his question away. “Not the point. I invaded your personal space when you thought you were alone.”

“When I thought I was alone enough to take care of my needs?” he states.

I want the world to swallow me whole right now. “Yes,” I answer. I’m not sure what he is thinking. He’s very calm which could mean he’s freaking out.

“And you saw that?” he asks, those hazel eyes narrowing on me. He’s upset. And rightfully so.

“Yes.”

“How much of it did you see?” he asks. Shit. Do I tell him I watched it all, or do I lie and tell him I swiped out of it before I could see anymore? “Issy.” His deep voice rumbles through me, making me jump.

“I watched it all,” I blurt out.

“All of it?” he asks, raising a brow.

“Yes. I couldn’t look away,” I confess.

“Where did you watch this?” he asks.

“In my office. Alone,” I add, just so he knows that his secret is safe with me.

His brows are high on his forehead in surprise. “Did that have anything to do with you coming home early?”

Lie. Issy. Lie. “Yes.”

“Is that the reason you were using your battery-operated friend?” His voice lowers as those hazel eyes never move from me.

“Yes.”

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