Page 32 of Heart on Ice

Tears well in my eyes, I hate being vulnerable, and I hate even more that I like the feeling of him pressed against me. That his muscles ripple with each of his movements against me. I close my eyes and try to steady my heaving heart.

“Issy, please, I need to fix this. I need to fix us.”

“Why? My life was going great until you crashed back into it.”

“Well, mine isn’t. It’s completely out of control right now, and this situation is the only thing I have control over,” he explains.

“You don’t have control over me.”

He raises a brow. “Really, because our current position would say otherwise.” He smirks. That motherfucker smirks.

“Get off me. This isn’t as cute as you think it is,” I say through gritted teeth.

“Probably not. In my mind, if I ever got you in this position, we wouldn’t have any clothes on and we wouldn’t have an audience,” he murmurs.

What! I can’t believe he just said that. “You’re still an egotistical jerk.”

“Fine,” he says, letting go of me as he moves away. I miss feeling him against me and that is a problem. He storms away and takes his seat as I give myself a shake before walking back to my seat. “Us arguing back and forth isn’t going to help things.” He huffs as he takes a sip of his drink. He’s right. “I appreciate you coming with me today to get Frankston. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure to find somewhere by the end of the week. I hate the fact that my being around you is triggering. I don’t want to be your trigger.”

He is a trigger. I didn’t realize how much until now that he’s back in my life. Harper is right, I need to let this go for my own mental sake. We don’t have to be friends, but we should be able to co-exist without fighting. For fifteen years you’ve been harboring this, it’s not healthy. Plus, Harper and Felix are becoming serious, and that means he is going to be sticking around, especially if he gets a contract with The Mavericks. If you keep fighting him at every step, then no one is going to want to hang around you. Pierre is Felix’s family, and he will choose him over me. I will not let him take away the friendships I’ve built for myself in New York. He doesn’t get another thing from me. I throw back a big gulp of tequila and feel the burn as it slides down my throat.

“Fine.”

Pierre looks at me, not understanding what I’m saying.

“I’m prepared to put the past in the past and leave it there for the sake of Harper and Felix because as much as you might not like it, she is so going becoming your sister-in-law at some stage. This means you will be her family which means if I want to stay in her life I’m going to have to put up with you in it.” He raises a brow at me. “I’m doing this for them.”

“Not you?”

“Fine for me, too. I’m sick of hating you even though you deserve it. You’re right. Everyone is fucking right I need to let it go. It isn’t healthy for me to harbor this much hate toward you after all these years. I forgive you.” The words are like razor blades against my throat, and I cannot believe I am saying them, but as soon as they are out of my mouth, my shoulders feel lighter. Is this some kind of placebo effect or something?

“You forgive me?” he asks skeptically.

I suck in a deep breath. “Yes. I’m letting go of the past. As much as I can, but these lingering feelings won’t vanishovernight. I will try to be civil toward you, going forward. We won’t be best friends or even friends …”

“Acquaintances?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“Guess that’s better than what I was before.” He smiles. Urgh. Stop being so Canadian with that smile.

“It’s one level up from where you were, and the jury is still out, you could be relegated again,” I warn him.

He holds up his hands. “I won’t let you down. Maybe we can start again. I’m sure we are not the same people we once were. We don’t really know each other anymore.” There might be some truth in that. “Hi, I’m Pierre St. Pierre, Captain for South Dakota Devils, and the league’s top scorer. Whose life has imploded and is on the brink of retirement,” he says, holding out his hand to me, which I eye suspiciously.

He's serious? He waves his outstretched hand for me to take. I am doing this for me, not him.

I take his hand and shake it. “Hi, I’m Issy Alessi, CEO of The Alessi Agency, Sports Manager to the stars, and I’m not going to let you retire,” I tell him seriously.

“I don’t doubt that, but it’s not up to you. It’s all in Bill’s hands and the lawyers.”

We both take our seats again, and I can handle this change of subject more than the one about our past. “Honestly, Bill is going to let you go, even if that means you’re a free agent for the year. As you said, you’re the league’s highest scorer. Now to be fair, most teams in the league have great centers, but we all know you can easily score from any position you play, and that is the real bonus.”

“Think that’s the first nice thing you’ve said to me.” He smirks.

I roll my eyes. “I’m trying.”

“I appreciate it.” He nods.

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